The Lip Plumper Bumper Crop

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onically pump up your lips.</p><p id="0fe2">I thought women were supposed to be smarter than men!</p><p id="ca9f">And yet you show yourself to be as needy as those pygmy-peckered insecure males who invest the contents of their piggy banks in the promise of hydraulic pumps, guaranteed to pull their penises out to preternatural lengths.</p><p id="ab66">Why can’t you humans be happy with the equipment that you have been given?</p><p id="d449">The temporary plumpness that I give you is nothing more than a fool’s promise.</p><p id="717b">I mean, there you are out at dinner with your lips blistered with hot peppers and bee venom, trying to smile and dine on the expensive meal your lover has bought you.</p><p id="11b3">There you are when he tries to steal a kiss, only your lips are too painful to offer more than a tenuous peck upon your lover’s cheek.</p><p id="d46f">God help him if he should ask for a friendly little blowjob…</p><div id="8601" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/decorating-my-wife-in-off-white-spunk-d5c5eb14e2b6"> <div> <div> <h2>Decorating my Wife In Off-White Spunk</h2> <div><h3>Irony is the opposite of wrinkly…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*_aZ

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JhZeqdiLmrjzH)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="3154" class="link-block"> <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-love-song-of-the-seven-dwarves-9ca0f447af3"> <div> <div> <h2>The Love Song Of The Seven Dwarves</h2> <div><h3>Where did these horny little men come from, and where were they going to cum next?</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*qC96fxcpKbm7w1o-NMlLoQ.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="5b9c" class="link-block"> <a href="https://cmaymoretales.medium.com/list/bc36b65a5bc9"> <div> <div> <h2>More Tantalizing Tales and Information</h2> <div><h3>Stories that are so good they deserve a second read… Plus info for new writers. (NB: this list changes its content…</h3></div> <div><p>cmaymoretales.medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*c1820b567919bd9c94862c6645dfc7a020b55f73.jpeg)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

I am the latest in beauty technology!

I am the lip plumper.

I am the ultimate conman.

Just rub my phallic receptacle across your lips and I will punish you with pure pain and imagined passion.

I am a concoction of ghost pepper capsicum, heartless cinnamon oil, and the piercing pain of peppermint oil.

I will paint your puckered lips with painful pigmentation, guaranteed to swell your mucus membrane mouth muscles into Angelina Jolie territory.

Mind you, this isn’t my first tender brush with fame.

Back in the early 2000s hoards of horny, hungry, harridans plastered their lips with a pigmented paste of bee venom, certain that men would come running, led by the mindless drone of their blind-torpedo dicks.

Worse yet are the plumping devices that desperate ladies will clamp upon their lips in an attempt to electronically pump up your lips.

I thought women were supposed to be smarter than men!

And yet you show yourself to be as needy as those pygmy-peckered insecure males who invest the contents of their piggy banks in the promise of hydraulic pumps, guaranteed to pull their penises out to preternatural lengths.

Why can’t you humans be happy with the equipment that you have been given?

The temporary plumpness that I give you is nothing more than a fool’s promise.

I mean, there you are out at dinner with your lips blistered with hot peppers and bee venom, trying to smile and dine on the expensive meal your lover has bought you.

There you are when he tries to steal a kiss, only your lips are too painful to offer more than a tenuous peck upon your lover’s cheek.

God help him if he should ask for a friendly little blowjob…

MICRO MONDAY MINI-FICTION, PROMPT STORY

The Lip Plumper Bumper Crop

I am the latest in beauty technology!

Decorating my Wife In Off-White Spunk

Irony is the opposite of wrinkly…

The Love Song Of The Seven Dwarves

Where did these horny little men come from, and where were they going to cum next?

More Tantalizing Tales and Information

Stories that are so good they deserve a second read… Plus info for new writers. (NB: this list changes its content…