The Life-sustaining Challenge of Finding Balance
The second ten days of my 99-day pericarditis recovery plan
Okay, first the disclaimers. I am not a healthcare provider of any sort, nutritionist, physical therapist, or physical trainer. I am simply a chronic pericarditis patient on the cusp of what I hope is my second remission.
If you started here, you should definitely read the introduction first. It explains in detail where I was in my recovery when I began my 99-day journey. You can read that here.
First we must balance
Life is a circus and we each walk our own high wire every single day we draw breath. Lean this way and the body must shift to keep you on the wire. It’s built into every system in these rather frail bodies we tiptoe around in.
This week I ran head-on, in a multitude of ways, into what I already knew to be truth: Balance is the key to sustaining life. So far in my recovery, I’ve been focusing on the goals of balancing the Omega-3s and 6s in my diet. Some days that’s easy, others not so much. The state of my recovery is such that I can feel the difference when a bit too much Omega-6 or a fraction too little Omega-3 throws me off.
I’ve also talked a little about the precarious balance between maintaining a heart rate near 100, while re-building strength. From my previous experience with a full remission, I know that the strength has to come first. Your circulatory system, including your heart is pre-programmed to pump more blood where it is needed. If it detects weakness in your legs, you get more blood pumped to those muscles when you stand or walk.
That’s why I do my initial strengthening sitting down. Until I can do weighted leg-lifts while sitting with a heart rate below 100, there’s not a chance of increasing the speed of my walking.
The whole second week
I struggled with balancing every last little thing this week. I spent too much time in the heat. I spent too little time lying down letting my heart rest, and more than once, I pushed too hard on the strength training. All of that led to days where fatigue ruled, which, of course, led to days where the fatigue itself forced me out of balance with my diet.
It’s hard to find the strength to prepare healthy meals when fatigue rules your body.
I found that reminding myself that food is my new medicine helped. Do I want a tuna sandwich for lunch when a fast food burger would be easier and tastier? Of course not. But which one will put me back on the couch and which one will literally help take away the fatigue and chest pain?
I hope you are beginning to see the answers with me.
And then there was a new diagnosis
I have a new primary care doctor. She is the proactive sort, which suits me. She was horrified that the previous doctor had never ordered a bone density scan for me. She said it wasn’t just about my age and family history of osteoporosis, it was also the fact that I have been treated with steroids in the past and that the high doses of Advil for so many years had forced me to stay on proton pump inhibitors (Nexium, Prilosec, etc.) for those years to protect my stomach.
I knew about the risk from the steroids. My current cardiologist said putting me on steroids again meant he might as well write me a prescription for a broken hip. Nobody ever told me about the Nexium. Read this for the latest research.
Aside from the year-plus spent on the couch with pericarditis, I am basically an active person. I honestly thought that my lifetime of staying fit and the fact that I consume an adequate amount of calcium and vitamin D were protecting me. Sure, my mother has osteoporosis, but she’s never been an exerciser and she doesn’t consume any dairy.
I was wrong. My bone density scan shows I have moderate (T -2.7) osteoporosis in the femoral head (leg bone at the hip joint) and severe osteoporosis (T -3.9) of the spine (L2–L4).
For those who think osteoporosis is not such a bad diagnosis, I have a mental picture for you. Imagine yourself bedridden with bone fractures that may or may not heal and which cannot be surgically repaired because the orthopedist says your bones are too weak to hold screws and plates. Then consider all this could be caused by something as simple as bumping into a kitchen counter.
That is osteoporosis.
I feel unbalanced. Once again, doctors I trusted let me down. But once again, I realize it’s up to me to solve this mess. The new doctor has yet to formulate a treatment plan, but I know what I have to do. I am already off of the Advil and though I tried once to stop the Nexium, I know I must try again.
My strength training suddenly became more important than ever. I am doubling down on yoga and walking — I started yesterday, in fact.
Takeaways:
As always, I hope you take a moment today to consider the balance of everything in your life. I am easing myself across the tightrope, trying not to focus on the things I left behind me that were out of balance. You cannot turn around and look back. The key to taking the next step is always to concentrate on that next step.
Breathe deep when you can. Find your balance. Carefully slide the next foot forward. It’s all we can do.
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