The Life Lessons Gifted to Me By a Homeless Gentleman
🌱Never judge a book by its cover…
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” — Jim Rohn
It was a cold, blustery day when I first met Rafferty.
He was sitting outside a shop, he looked in his 50s, but could have been 35 for all I knew. He was smiling and saying good morning to all who passed him.
No one responded. Not even me.
I went to grab my coffee and a bacon roll. As I left the shop I felt a sudden chill in the air. It was then I looked at Rafferty, still there saying good morning to all.
As I got close to him I felt the snow flutter down and touch my skin. I handed Rafferty my coffee and bacon roll. “Are you sure?” he said. “Yeah, it’s b***dy freezing,” I replied. “Hopefully this will give you some warmth.”
He smiled and gave thanks. I was still grumpy as I needed coffee.
I thought giving was supposed to make you feel happier.
After that day, and every morning for nearly a year we would have a little chat. Then every evening he would wave to say goodbye and shout a new joke at me.
I learned a little more about Rafferty every day. Life had not always been like this. He had a job once, even worked as a supervisor for a bit, and had a beautiful family and a dog he missed.
His sense of humour, spoken lingo, and the tattoo on his hand gave a little hint that he may have been in the services at one stage.
“Shit happens” was his catchphrase.
A combination of bad luck failed relationships, and unhelpful coping mechanisms had landed him with a crash onto the streets.
He had dreams, and plans, and used to live in a three-bed townhouse.
The Chocolate Bar
“Look I found a pound, go to the shop and get me a chocolate bar,” he said.
‘They’, the shop owners, didn’t like him going into the building. Even when he did try to pay!
“Okay, what do you want?” I asked. “Whatever your fave is?” he replied. “Do you have nut allergies?” I asked. He just laughed.
Coming back from the shop I was just about to launch the chocolate bar at him — he knew not to take it personally. This is how I hand stuff to my own family.
“No, that’s for you!” Rafferty smirked. I felt bad, I tried to hand it to him. I couldn’t take food from a homeless person.
He smiled. “My time to treat you, my dear,” he said. He looked so happy that he was able to do this. I said, “Are you sure?” He nodded.
“Thank you.” I smiled.
I never saw him again after that.
Rafferty was just gone. Vanished into thin air.
Gone
I didn’t know what had happened but only could assume the worst or that the police had moved him on.
Although I hoped that he had made use of the leaflets I had given to him and got some support. I mean I did nag him enough to contact them.
I learned a lot from Rafferty which takes me back to the quote…
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” — Jim Rohn
The Lessons Learned
Some self-help books thrive on the notion that you are who you associate with. If you want to be a successful writer then hang around with successful writers and so on.
To an extent yes their experiences are useful, but what it doesn’t do is offer any diversity. You end up with a group of ‘sameness’. If someone has failed. What did they learn from this? What can they teach you about life?
- Rafferty taught me gratitude and to be humble.
- He taught me that one could smile in the face of the worst situations.
- He showed me kindness.
- He taught me some pretty rude jokes that I shan’t repeat here!
- He gave when he didn’t have anything to give.
- I can honestly say he helped to make me a better more empathic person.
Rafferty, I am proud to say, was my friend, an unlikely friendship in a messed-up world. Where people are judged on different values based on their job, family name, and circumstance.
Oh, what the world would be if we judged a person’s worth more on their heart than on material possessions and wealth.
So, in the self-help world don’t just learn from the best, learn from those that are smiling in the face of hardships (which of course most successful people have) and despite all the bad can still show kindness to others.
When you pick five people to spend more time with ensure you select from a diverse range of people.
💭Thoughts!?
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