The Lies Reality Tells and How to Silence Them
Discover the one-way street to achieving your dreams
Do you think seeing is believing?
I’ll let you into a secret. Reality is grossly overrated.
The Oxford Dictionary defines reality as
The state of things as they actually exist, as opposed to an idealistic or notional idea of them.
I much prefer the simpler Cambridge description. Reality is
The state of things as they are, rather than as they are imagined to be
I agree with the above statements, who wouldn’t?
But the question you need to ask, is who defines reality? or who do you allow to define your reality.
Today, I will let you into the best kept secret that all successful people know and understand:
Reality, (the state of things as they are) almost always lies to you.
I’ll start with the obvious: Nothing has changed
You must have heard the fable of the six blind men and the elephant. I summarised the story from Wikipedia. Each man described the elephant by what they felt. In their unique realities, the elephant was:
like a thick snake (trunk)
like a kind of fan (ear)
like a tree-trunk (leg)
like a wall (body)
like a rope (tail)
like a spear (tusk)
Although the story is said to date back to the mid first millennium BCE, nothing has changed. Experts, scientists, anthropologists, philosophers, professors, data analysts, thought leaders, governments etcetera give us definitive views of what is and what works. These views are not imagined, nor idealistic or notional. They reflect the reality we experience and accept in our lives.
Time for an expose
Reality is not an enemy, but.
When it comes to achieving your dreams,
Don’t allow anyone tell you: That age matters, it does not. That education matters, it does not, That gender matters, it does not. That race matters, it does not. That class matters, it does not.
None of these matter, they are lies that reality tells.
The proof is all around us. Do you think that an old, poorly educated, slum dwelling, migrant or refugee, black, hispanic, gypsy, female, transgender, illiterate person has less of a chance of achieving their dreams?
Do you?
In boardrooms filled with white men over the age of 55, what are the chances of a black young woman getting a seat at the table?
In today’s world of Gen X and Gen Y, tech savvy and confident Millennials, what are the prospects for an unemployed man aged 55?
In politics with power struggles, financial backing and lobbying, what are the chances of an uneducated bin man making it to the House of representatives?
In the tough film industry, what are the chances of a poor boy from the slums of Ajegunle¹ making it to Hollywood.
What did you think? Next to none. I bet.
Several people are walking on a one-way street, heading away from their dreams. Not know that:
When it comes to achieving your dreams, none of this matters.
None!
There are several realities
I watched a video on Youtube from the National Geographic | Brain Games. It was an experiment on social influence with Jonah Bergen, the author of the New York Times Bestseller, Contagious.
The video starts with a line set up in a public space for no reason at all and ends with tens of people dancing in a conga line with an Elvis personator.
It is an amazing watch.
Here’s my point.
The reality
Joining the line was pointless, an experiment on social influence. The producer would agree, experts would agree and they are not wrong.
Joe’s reality
If someone on the line (Joe) had a dream of having a pointless fun day in Vegas, Que sera sera; joining the line was not pointless. It achieved his dreams.
I agree, it was a silly example to make the point but I love that video.
An ‘expert’ bystander could say, ‘what a bunch of pillocks, going through all that activity with no purpose.’
Someone on the line would say, ‘this is exactly why I came to Vegas, to find something unexpected.’
Reality is grossly overrated
Getting to the one-way street
One thing matters on the journey to achieving your dreams, your mindset.
Not what the government says, or the experts say, or the news reports say. Not the statistics, charts, data, projections. None of these matter. Your mindset is more important.
Is your age a barrier to getting the dream job you want? Probably yes. But should that be your accepted reality? Hell no! Never.
Is your education a barrier? your colour, your gender, your accent? Who is the perfect person that deserves their dreams to come true? Why is this person not you?
I’ll give you another secret for free:
In this journey called life, you are MORE than your limitations.
What you are on the inside, is greater than the factors that define you on the outside.
So make up your mind in 2020 to tell yourself the truth. To believe that your response in a situation matters more than the situation. That your attitude determines your altitude, that by existing, you are worth it; and having a dream is proof that you can achieve a dream.
The Bible has a great verse in Ecclesiastes 9:11
Again I saw that under the sun the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, nor bread to the wise, nor riches to the intelligent, nor favour to those with knowledge, but time and chance happen to them all.
Next time you look at someone successful, never think they are better than you. They are not.
The world is littered with examples of people achieving great things, despite …
Do not discount yourself from the race because someone else says so, or because of what reality shows you.
Stay on the one-way street
If you label yourself as a ‘minority’ or a disadvantaged person. Tear it off and walk on the one-way street signposted ‘POSITIVE MINDSET”.
As you walk that street, you never know when time or chance will strike. Here are some tips to keep you on the straight and narrow.
- Find examples of others who have gone before you and stay close to them
- Know your strengths and flaunt them at every opportunity
- Determine that ‘No’ is not an answer you would accept
- Keep knocking on doors
- Turn that ‘disadvantage’ into a strength
- Smile and lend a helping hand to others
- Lastly, show up for yourself — consistently
¹ Ajegunle is a slum in Lagos Nigeria.
PS: How is lockdown going for you? Here are 12 questions I wrote to help you make sense of lockdown.
