Parents and Children

The Legacy of My Late Father: A Treasure of Wisdom

Six life lessons from my dad keeping me healthy and happy

As it is said in my culture, "The lap of a mother is the first learning school of a child," but a father’s role in shaping a child’s character is equally important. Children's behavior is heavily influenced by what they see their parents doing, and how they emulate their parents has a profound impact throughout their lives, playing a crucial role in shaping their character and determining their role in society.

Valuable Life Lessons Given by My Late Father

My father died on December 30, 2021. It was the worst day of my life, as losing a parent brings indescribable grief. Memories he created in us still bring me joy and keep me alive, but they also carry grief.

My father was a generous and kind-hearted person, deeply devoted to spreading love and compassion. He valued knowledge, kindness, and spirituality above all else, leaving a lasting impact on everyone he met.

He possessed a profound and unique personality. Admitting that I couldn’t completely comprehend him would not be an understatement. He had a deep impact on my personality and who I am today. Here are some valuable lessons I learned from him:

1 — “Knowledge is the Actual Treasure”

To him, knowledge was the actual treasure, not wealth. He always amazed me with how much knowledge he had. There was no topic or subject on which he could not talk, whether it was social, political, economic, historical, philosophical, or even religious discussions; he was a living encyclopedia in himself.

He served as a medical doctor, but I actually don’t know how many additional degrees he held. He was the author of several books, and I always saw him studying. He had converted his room into a full library where you could find books on any topic that could come into your mind.

He always emphasized the importance of acquiring knowledge and encouraged us to study diligently, just as he did throughout his life. His unwavering dedication to learning served as a constant inspiration for us. When he died, his books were his real legacy.

2 — “Virtue Never Goes to Waste”

He consistently emphasized the value of kindness as the true virtue, urging us to be compassionate towards everyone. His aspirations included establishing a charitable trust offering accessible health facilities, education, food, and shelter to the underprivileged. He was working on this project, but his sudden death prevented its realization.

But he was still doing all this on a small level. He was taking care of some small children, feeding them, educating them, and giving them shelter. He treated them as if they were his own children, and when my father died, they cried as if they had lost their father.

He used to say: "I am doing all this for the sake of my Lord; I don't want anything in return. My reward is with my Lord."

3 — “God Should be Your Top Priority.”

One thing my father used to say often:

'We are not going to stay in this world forever. This is just a testing place, and this life is just an exam. You will reap what you sow.'

He always advised us, 'Don’t be overly concerned about this world and what people say. Always try to please your Lord, and it should be your top priority. Always try to be a source of goodness and joy for others. Everything is just going to be left behind, and only your good deeds will go with you.'

He always advised us to keep ourselves connected with the Lord and be the best version of ourselves.

4 — “Never Cheat Anyone”

My father had somewhat of a mystic personality. Many people tried to cheat him, taking money as debt but never giving it back. He didn’t try to take it back, either. We, his children, used to wonder why he never used force or called the police to get his money back. But he would say, 'It’s okay; I don’t want anyone to get hurt because of me.' This was perhaps a mystic side of his personality we could never understand.

Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) said: "The best people are those that bring the most benefit to the rest of mankind." [Daraqutni, Hasan]

5 — “Always Feed Everyone”

He would feed everyone around him or those who were passing by. He never let anyone leave without offering them something to eat.

In the Holy month of Ramadan, when we fast, he used to arrange Iftars in the hall of his house and left the gates open so anyone could come and have an Iftar.

A person asked Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him): "What (sorts of) deeds in Islam are good?" He replied: "To feed the poor and greet those whom you know and those whom you don’t know." [Sahih Bukhari 1.2.11]

My father used to share meals with his assistants in the office, considering them part of his family. Regardless of their wealth, he never discriminated against anyone, nor was he easily impressed by others.

His admiration was reserved for those who exemplified kindness and purity. From him, we learned the values of hospitality, diversity, equality, and non-discrimination.

6 — “Never Think Bad of Anyone”

My father had a big heart full of love for everyone. We never saw him saying anything bad about anyone or holding grudges in his heart.

His heart was as clear as crystal, and he always taught us to think well of others. His eyes reflected the inner light of his heart.

He used to cite Rumi’s insightful words: "The light which shines in the eyes is really the light of the heart. The light which fills the heart is the light of God."

When he died, everyone witnessed that they had never seen a kinder and more polite man than him. Kindness was his legacy, which is still remembered.

Conclusions: When My Brother Saw Him After Death in a Dream

A few days after his death, my brother saw him in a dream. He looked delighted and wholesome. He said to my brother that he was alive; only his connection with his body had been cut, and Allah had rewarded him with so many blessings, and he was free to go anywhere in the cosmos.

When my brother told us about his dream, tears came to our eyes. Our father was rewarded by his Lord, as he always used to say. We were happy for him. His legacy is still alive in us.

May his Lord continue His blessings on my father. Ameen.

Thank you for reading. I wish you a healthy and good life. If you like my stories, please subscribe.

I also wrote an article about life after death, reflecting on this interesting topic. Recently, I read this inspiring story from Dr Mehmet Yildiz about how meditating on our mortality daily might make us happier and livelier.