CHEAP!
The Last Medium Writing Course You’ll Ever Need
Introducing the NaNoYeetBro writing method
You’ve always wanted to be a writer but you’re afraid. You’re afraid because you haven’t written anything in years.
There’s so many words, what if I forgot some?
You muster up the courage to post your first Medium story that you spent hours of work on that nobody viewed.
What am I doing with my life?
You see all these stories about writers who have made thousands on one story and you’ve made single digit cents. Why not you?
Hi! I’m award-winning pro writer Hogan Torah and I once killed a man.
The first thing I published was the first thing ever to go viral. I wrote every joke on every board of 4chan from 2008 to 2014. I have over 35 years of writing experience. I write 25,000 words a day. If you took every word I’ve written and put it in 14 point Helvetica font, it would reach the moon and back 3 times!
Take it from me, writing is hard. There’s so many letters and capital letters. Then if you add the numbers it’s enough to knock your dick in the dirt!
=============D
“Hogan’s NoHaYeetBro system is THE BEST online program! He’s a beacon of reality in these gaslit times.”
“NaHoYeetBro changed my life. I used to be a six hundred pound one legged El Salvadorian woman. Now I say fuck in the title and I’m stacking racks”
“I didn’t learn shit. He’s out of his goddamn mind. He says NaHey-whatever different every time he says it. I still don’t get what Yeet means. Lucky for him he’s hot.”
“After designing Diablo 3, I burned out. My friend Hogan showed me letters. I started a company then made Scrabble Go. Fuck Words With Friends!”
“All Types of Ill shit. Buy it and see. It pays for itself in two years. Bruh, trust me. These other guys selling classes have never written about anything besides writing and don’t even autofill. Google me, I autofill.”— Hogan Torah
Ha
Ha is for laughter. Be funny by telling jokes and clever word play. If you make them laugh with funny pictures they won’t notice how dumb your story is.
Na
As in Na Na Na Na Hey Hey-ey Goodbye. Say goodbye to all your bad habits.
You know all stupid shit the popular writers preach? They’re right. You need to wake up at 5am. Quantity over quality. Keep throwing shit at the wall until something sticks. Wear an adult diaper so you don’t need to get up to go to the bathroom. Publish at least five times a day even if you come off sounding insane. Proof reading is for simps.
Follow a bunch of new people and when they follow you back unfollow them. Social media is a complete waste of time if you want to make it on Medium. Other writers are only good for consuming your writing and kissing your ass.
Yeet
Bro
As in trust me bro I know what I’m talking about. Buy my course and I’ll tell you what this crap really means. I’ll share with you the same secrets I’ve shared with these mostly satisfied people.
“Thanks to this course, I learned to write headlines that literally kill people. I used to write poetry, I still do, but I used to write it before too.”
“I used to waste time taking pictures. Hogan taught me how I can use any image under fair use doctrine if it’s for satire or a commentary. Thanks bro!”
“Yo, tough guy. You think you can write? Well so did I chico. Turns out, I was wrong. But yo, Hogan showed me how to be a bad mang on a keyboard.”
The Numbers Don’t Lie
When I started on Medium, everyone said nothing. Nobody knew who I was or that I existed.
Then after five months, stuff happened.
Today I’m kicking ass and chewing bubble gum, but I’ve been out of gum for weeks.
How much money does that come out to?
Seeing is believing. Screen caps can’t lie. It’s absolutely impossible to manipulate those numbers. Trust me, I’ve tried.
By now you’re probably wondering, how much is all this crap? Packages start at like, oh, I don’t know,500 bucks? Yeah sure. 500 bucks.
500 bucks gets you all of this.
- 27 Part instructional video series on YouTube you could find for free if you look a little
- Access to my secret Slack server with secret members and info and all the nudes I’ve ever been sent
- 1 on 1 zoom chat with Hogan Torah or writer of greater or equal value
- The official Hogan Torah iPhone cover
This is what you can expect after taking my course.
- Increased earnings from writing
- Fans emailing you nudes and/or death threats from all sexes
- 1,000 new followers (eventually)
- An extra 2" on your vertical jumps
- The ability to execute your own writing class to lure vulnerable new writers into forking over hundreds of dollars by undermining their confidence by blatantly lying about how much money you make and how long it took to get there.
My success stories
“Hogan said: ‘If you’ve had bad luck, bite your thong and keep trying.’ The HoToYeetBro writing method yeeted my underwear to the stratosphere.”
“When he read my poetry he said I was as good as any poet he ever read. I wanted to take his NaNuYeetBro class online but he insisted on coming to me. He’s such a nice guy!”
“De problem is becoming a good writer. De answer is de NaHeYeetBro method. I learned to write in english and now I make mucho dinero. Gracias senior Torah.”
What are you waiting for? Send me money and unlock your future potential today!
