The kind of year I crave
Navigating life in a less goal-oriented way
Something changed this New Year’s and it gave me such relief.
I thought I was alone in my fatigue.
That I was the only one whose shoulders crept up to my ears thinking about “what I’m supposed to be doing in January.”
But recently I’ve been hearing something different.
For the first time, I’ve seen the people push back.
- People don’t want to obsessively plan the next 12 months.
- People are questioning the need to make a trip to the “New Year’s Resolution” watering hole.
- People are starting to be skeptical of fake, shiny Instagram photos and how in control of their lives people want to appear.
And they want something REAL.
They want something ELSE.
We are tired.
Or at least, that’s how I feel.
How about you?
It’s odd.
💚 I’ve always been rather obsessive about having a goal.
To be without one feels like losing a hand.
I did do some of the typical New Year’s thing…
obsessively…
I journaled about everything I accomplished in 2022, everything I learned so I could orient myself towards a new focus for 2023.
And then I realized
I have something I want to focus on this year,
but it is not a “typical goal.”
I don’t have a project in mind. 🤯
This is weird.
(I’m a writer and entrepreneur so usually I have 10 projects.)
I don’t think I’ve ever done this before.
💚 What I really want is to end this year more self-loving than I began on January 1st, 2023.
And I don’t suck at being self-loving BTW — There’s just always more self-loving-ness to embrace.
What I really want
is to feel connected to my own foundation,
to connect to myself on a daily basis,
to listen to myself —
💚 even the mad, sad, shamed, messy, crazy parts of me,
and be all accepting.
Instead of working on something outside, I want to remember to put the focus on going in.
To sum that up into a word for the year:
FOUNDATION.
And I thought, “What a moderate New Year.”
It blows my mind. 🤯
What does moderation means to me?
Meeting reality in the middle
- Trying to get a little better,
- trying to improve in a little way,
- without needing to be ten miles ahead of where I am now and to morph into some other person. 💚
Yeah, that is new.
And I’m not talking about using Atomic Habits to trick myself into taking small steps so I can eventually do something all day, or all the time.
I’m talking about focusing on SELF ACCEPTANCE.
So to you, dear reader, I ask,
What if
Who we are and where we are is okay?
Even if we want it to be a little different?
💚 Can’t we aim to be moderate, and a little more accepting of reality?
Can that be the focus?
Rather than a typical goal that revolves around change?
Because sometimes an external goal is just validation that you are okay,
or permission to feel like you are okay.
💚 And you don’t really need it.
This has been my stumbling block.
What I have learned is:
You do not need it.
You just need to convince yourself that you are good, right here, right now, as you are, and as things are.
Don’t engage in toxic positivity,
but embrace more compassion, acceptance, and yes…
self-love.
If you are vibing with all of this, dear reader, than maybe, you, too, are yearning for a more moderate New Year.
So let’s do this.
Let go of a few things,
start fresh, and
💚 appreciate more of who you are and what you already have to build on.
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