The Ketchup Fiasco
How a girl’s life was ruined
Brianna Kensington, a senior in high school, was expected by her family to be the valedictorian of her class. Both of her older brothers had been valedictorian as well as both of her parents, all four of her grandparents, and most of her aunts and uncles. It would be a grave embarrassment to the family for her not to win that honor.
Halfway through her senior year the odds of her being valedictorian were good. Her grade point average was a solid 4.0. Of course she was competing against four other students with a perfect 4.0. If there was a tie at the end of the year the honor would go to the one with the most ‘other accomplishments.’
Brianna was doing quite well in this regard as well. She had been the year’s homecoming queen, she was the leader of the cheer-leading squad, she had won 7 trophies on the girl’s track and field team, she was the grand diva of the thespian club, she won the chess tournament for the chess club, she was class president, she was in charge of the yearbook committee, she won the grand prize of the regional solo and ensemble music contest, she won the annual talent show, and she was voted by her classmates as most likely American girl to marry into British royalty.
The only things left for her to win were the debate team competition and the spelling bee. Brianna had won both of these competitions the previous couple of years and was a heavy favorite to win both.
Prestigious universities were lining up to offer Brianna scholarships if she were to attend their school. Her mother and family expected absolute success from her. It had become a family tradition.
But the prickly fingers of fate had a surprise in store for the Kensington family. As utterly perfect as everyone in the family was it turned out that their precious Brianna was not. On a cold, rainy Saturday in March she would commit a faux pas so heinous as to bring bitter shame to the family lineage for generations to come. For many decades it would be known as the ‘Brianna Blunder.’
Brianna’s mother had a lavish victory party planned for after the spelling bee. As she sat in the stands lulled by the droning sound of words being spelled her mind was on the details of the party. Would the staff have everything ready on time? Would the food be perfect? Would everyone show up? Mrs. Kensington was a meticulous party planner but it was difficult to make sure everything would be perfect without her being there. It was frustrating sitting in the bleachers of the auditorium waiting for her daughter’s turn to spell.
Brianna had been winning spelling bees since she was five years old. Her friends called her, The Walking Dictionary. Her mother had spent countless hours over the years grilling her on her spelling.
The hypnotizing drone of students spelling was occasionally shattered when someone spelled a word incorrectly. A very loud buzzer would sound echoing throughout the auditorium. The volume of the buzzer was obviously set at its highest level which Mrs. Kensington found annoying but she had to admit that it helped keep the audience from dozing off. It also meant that another student was being disqualified speeding the way to Brianna’s sure victory.
Eventually there were only three students left in the competition, one of which was Brianna. She had spelled all her words correctly and it would not be long before she would be crowned the winner. As she was given her next word her mother was too excited to sit so she stood up.
“Brianna Kensington, your next word is… ketchup.”
Brianna cleared her throat, “Ketchup: c-a-t-s-u-p. Ketchup.”
And that is when it happened. For the first time ever in her many years of spelling bees, the buzzer sounded!
“Sorry, Brianna. That is incorrect. The correct spelling of ketchup is k-e-t-c-h-u-p.”
Brianna suddenly fainted on stage. Her mother rushed up there to be with her.
“How on earth can you not know the correct way to spell ketchup for crying out loud?” her father yelled at her later that evening. “Are you some kind of white trash redneck hillbilly or something? Every third grader knows how to spell ketchup. You have brought great embarrassment and shame to our family. I just don’t know what we’re going to do now.”
“I spent almost eight thousand dollars on your victory party which I could not even invite anyone to!” Brianna’s mother was livid with rage. “Eight thousand dollars! But what really gets me is that you lost on such an easy word. I mean everyone with a brain knows how to spell ketchup. I’m so embarrassed I don’t think I will ever be able to show my face in public again. You turned our family into the laughingstock of the tri-state region! What on earth do you have to say for yourself?”
Brianna was crying too hard to be able to answer her mother.
Going back to school on Monday was a nightmare. Walking down the halls everyone would point at her and laugh. Her friends would have nothing to do with her. Her teachers made fun of her. Even the cafeteria workers and janitors laughed at her.
She was kicked off the cheer-leading squad, the debate team, the chess club, the thespian club, the track and field team, the yearbook staff, the music club, and she was impeached as class president. On her locker someone had written in indelible paint, “Stupid Bitch!”
Her chances to be valedictorian had flown out the window. And all the universities that were courting her now would not even accept her application — not even the local community college.
She spent the day crying but she never cried harder than when she ran into her boyfriend who, with a disgusting scowl on his face, immediately dumped her for her horrendous misspelling.
Brianna had no choice but to drop out of high school and drop out of sight. She could no longer go out in public without suffering an avalanche of ridicule and mockery.
And her parents wanted her out of the house. They drove her to a town about sixty miles away and rented her an apartment. They gave her some money but told her that she would need to find a job in order to support herself.
Brianna found out that it was not easy to find a job as an eighteen-year-old high school drop-out with no college degree. It did not help that news of her unfortunate spelling blunder had reached all the way to that town. It seemed like her life was forever ruined.
After six long weeks of job-hunting she finally landed a job at the local Dairy Queen where she ended up working for the next thirty years.
It was a truly harrowing lesson but Brianna Kensington finally learned (the hard way) the correct way to spell, ketchup. It was a good thing considering where she ended up working.
Copyright by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. This is a work of fiction. Complete White Feather Archive Index