Summary

The article discusses the unique experience of visiting a McDonald's abroad, detailing the challenges and cultural differences encountered by American expats seeking familiar fast food.

Abstract

Visiting a McDonald's in a foreign country can be a mix of nostalgia and new experiences for American expats. While it offers a taste of home with classic menu items, navigating the chaotic lines and language barriers can be a test of patience and ingenuity. The article provides humorous "pro tips" for surviving the experience, from tailgating to borrowing children to get through the line faster. The menu may include unique local offerings, and while there are no free refills or unlimited condiments, there are opportunities to win McDonald's branded merchandise through an app. The author emphasizes that despite the differences, a visit to a foreign McDonald's is a memorable experience that shouldn't replace trying local cuisine.

Opinions

The author describes the line at foreign McDonald's as slow and disorganized, comparing it to an apocalypse zombie movie.
McDonald's is seen as a haven from health-conscious judgment, allowing expats to indulge in American fast-food culture without criticism.
The article suggests that the food at foreign McDonald's is fresher and of higher quality than what one might expect in the U.S., with vegetables that appear to be real.
There is a critique of the lack of free items (ketchup, mayo, napkins) and the stinginess with resources, which is attributed to Europeans' serious approach to conservation.
The author is enthusiastic about the unique menu items available abroad, such as a feta burger with beets and cucumbers.
The article implies that the experience of visiting a McDonald's overseas is both comforting and exotic, offering a blend of the familiar and the foreign.
The author seems to appreciate the rewards system via the McDonald's app, highlighting the variety of merchandise they've won.
Despite the fun and games of collecting McDonald's swag, the author reminds readers not to forget the local culinary experiences that come with traveling.

It’s Mac Toniiiight

The Joy and the Pain of Ordering at a Foreign McDonald’s

Pro tips to survive

Mac in Romania. Photo by Alexandra Praytor on Unsplash

Going to a McDonald’s in a foreign country for American expats is like being back home. You can eat greasy foods, drink bad coffee, and super-size yourself without any overly-health-conscious European waiter judging your choices or telling you that eating two starches together in one meal is too much.

You can nostalgically look at the golden arches of your childhood painted over the window view of an old picturesque European city while you contemplate what the weather is like in your homeland and wonder whatever happened to Hamburgler, Happy Meal cookies, those cool french fry swivel chairs, and that weird moon in sunglasses singing, “It’s Mac toniiiight.”

But although McDonald's can give you that taste of home away from home you crave, when you enter a foreign McDonald’s, there are still several reminders you’re not in Kansas anymore…or Texas…or wherever it is you’re from.

And it starts with The Line.

The Line

Is it a concert, flash mob, a New Year’s ball drop, or are people just trying to order at McDonald’s? Photo by Nicholas Green on Unsplash

The line at this particular fast food joint is anything but fast and is nothing like efficient. Basically, you’re entering an apocalypse zombie movie where everyone is hungry and you’re all rushing the tiny stand where the last three normal humans are waiting to be dinner.

In reality, there is plenty of food for everyone, but it could take you five dog years to reach one of the three cashiers at the counter, which is where the desperation sets in.

Part of the problem is that no one stays in their lane and so what you have is a mosh pit of agitated humans fighting for the rights of their crying little humans and taking twice as long as necessary. The other problem is there is only one known McDonald’s in the entire county and for some unknown reason, it doesn’t have a drive-thru.

Here are pro tips to get you through:

Tailgate: Stick to the person in front of you like glue. Memorize the back of their head like you are a spy in a James Bond movie. Follow them step by step like your own personal guide through a flying-monkey forest. Leave no room for line-cutters. Do not look down at your phone to kill time — or all will be lost.

Crowd surf: If it is rush hour, the best approach is to crowd surf. Just trust-fall onto the nearest person and ride the frothing wave until you reach the front.

Borrow children: Find a child that is tall enough to be seen by the cashier at the counter, but still small enough to incite an “Awww” from the madding crowd. Pin your order to his shirt and send him under the legs of other customers. Then, casually swoop in when the food is ready.

If you can make it through the line in a foreign McDonald’s with food and without cutting (or getting cut), you are well on your way to native status.

Ordering

Now that you’re at the counter, a weight is lifted from your shoulders. You’ve probably already forgotten why you’re here. You may have forgotten every tidbit of the foreign language you learned on Duolingo. And let’s hope you didn’t forget your wallet at home or you have it all to do over again.

When it comes to language, luckily, McDonald’s is America on foreign soil, so most employees will speak English. But if for some reason they don’t, you’ll have to mime…

Choose something simple to order — like a Big Mac. Use your hands to show size “Big” then point to a guy in the crowd who looks like his name is likely “Mac”. Then extend your arms as far as they’ll go twice to represent “super-size.” You’ll have smacked a few people in the crowd with that movement, but as a happy byproduct, you’ll have also gained some elbow room.

For example, you could point to this guy — his name is probably Mac. Photo by Izzy Park on Unsplash

The extra-special super-duper menu

If there is no language barrier, feel free to try one of the extra-special super-duper menu items you won’t find in any American stores. I once got a feta burger with shredded beets and cucumbers. It was everything you hoped that would be.

Even if you get one of the hum-drum menu items, you can rest assured you will get it hot and fresh — I’ve never seen any sandwiches wilting under hot lamps in a foreign Mac. Also the vegetables seem like they grew in a real garden at some point and aren’t made from plastic. However…

Feta burger at Romanian McDonald’s. Not bad for Mac. Photo by Author

There is no free stuff

You’ll have to pay for everything …including ketchup, mayo, and any other sauces.

Also, there are no free drink refills.

Also you will get one see-thru thinner-than-a-tissue napkin for your entire meal. There are no napkins on the table…and you won’t be going back to The Line just to ask for extra paper. You won’t find paper towels in the bathroom, either — just a hand dryer. Europeans take conserving resources very seriously.

You can always ask the cashier for extra napkins I guess when you order, but are you that brave?

That’s about a dollar’s worth of ketchup right there. Photo by Christian Bolt on Unsplash

…But there are prizes

While you can’t just get ketchup on tap or make yourself a “suicide soda” at the free-for-all drink station, or pocket enough napkins so that you never have to buy any from the store, you can get cool flair to rep the Mac brand. Just scan the app when you order to rack up points at your own personal foreign Mac!

Not to brag — but I’ve won a tie-dye sweatshirt, winter gloves, socks, a winter sweater vest, free ice cream — and a fanny pack. And I only go about once every two months!

Prizes? I’m lovin’ it. Author’s photo and author’s sweatshirt.

Going to your foreign Mac is like going back home… and also nothing like home. Anyway, it is sure to be an experience you won’t soon forget! Don’t forget to take a picture to post on Instagram (or Medium) so your friends and followers can drool over your cool new gear and special foreign sandwich options.

But also don’t forget to try the native food down the street… because well it’s always good to try new things.

Have you ever been to a McDonald’s outside the USA? What was your experience?