The Journey of Some (One) Clergy from LGBTQ+ Aversion to Acceptance

Some conservative clergy embrace their LGBTQ+ friends-but at a cost…

When I first decided to write this article sometime ago, I wanted it to be based on research. My topic seemed straightforward. What are the steps in the journey of evangelical clergy from hostility towards LGBTQ+ folks to acceptance and full inclusion? I imagined there would be tons of documented research, perhaps based on surveys and interviews.

Ha! Was I wrong!

My doctoral program included training as a statistician, and I have used those skills at times in research on religious topics. The denomination in which I served as ordained clergy financed a study I did on small and dying congregations.

I collected data, crunched data, and analyzed data. In case you are wondering, they all want a young minister with children whose wife can start a children’s program and play piano. They all wanted a bi-vocational minister since they couldn’t pay a full-time clergy person. They all wanted the Presbytery to send them someone to save them. That was 20 years ago. Most of those congregations are gone now. Maybe if they had learned some lessons about acceptance... But that is another story.

Well, I thought, surely folks are doing similar research with evangelical clergy and changing attitudes toward LGBTQ+ folks.

They aren’t. At least not that I can find.

So, what I offer here is a case study of one (me). I will try to lay out the sequential steps that turned me from rejecting to accepting.

1. Learning the expectations.

As a late teen in the early 70s, I came across the Jesus Movement. I was lonely. I was questioning the purpose of life. I spent my childhood in a fundamentalist church, but that really didn’t stick. The acceptance and warmth of the Jesus Movement drew me in. I started on the fringes of it all and became more and more involved. The real turning point for me was when I moved into a religious commune. There, the expectation was no drugs, no sex, and constant witnessing. Constantly, there was the reminder of Jesus’ imminent return, and that the world was going to hell. When it came to the gay community, the message was that they had chosen that lifestyle and were “reprobates.” Hell bound and perverted. After all, the Bible said so. So, good compliant sheep that I was, that is what gay folks were to me. The commune fell apart when we discovered that the leadership was taking all our money and copulating with many others like rabbits. At that point, most folks just quit. I traveled to the denominational world.

2. Indoctrination.

When I joined my evangelical denomination, the expectation was that I would learn the doctrines of my church. Basically, they were the points of fundamentalism (with some modification). In case you don’t know them, here they are:

a. The Bible is absolutely without error.

b. Jesus really was born of a virgin.

c. God killed Jesus instead of killing (some) people.

d. Jesus had a bodily resurrection.

e. All the miracles in the Bible happened just as recorded.

3. Acceptance of the teaching.

From point a, I got the message that many things were morally wrong. Including homosexuality. We took a strong stand against the “gay agenda,” believing that gay people choose that lifestyle because they were perverts.

4. Events leading to doubt.

Somewhere along the line (for whatever reason) I decided to become a minister. Although not necessarily needed, I enrolled in seminary. But, and I don’t know why, I decided on a moderately liberal seminary. There I learned to read and understand Greek and began to have serious doubts about some teaching I heard over the years — especially about the acceptability of war and violence, and the reality of hell.

5. Effects of Education.

At the seminary, the way we learned about what it means to be queer in terms of sexual orientation and preference. At that time, I wrote my first article for a theological journal and said (in passing) that homosexuality IS a sin. The editor asked if it would be more correct to say homosexual practice is a sin. I thought long and hard about that, but eventually concurred.

6. Meeting the enemy.

I transferred to a Catholic seminary. Wow! Lots of those guys were gay! I never really knew many out gay people before. It seemed that most thought the priesthood and its vow of celibacy would keep them from acting on their orientation. Also (and this is crucial) it was the first time I realized that I liked lots of gay folks, and, though I was straight, married, and had two kids, we really weren’t all that different.

7. Stirrings (signs of the times)

I finished 3 years of seminary. (Why the Catholic one? The other choice was a fundamental Baptist one, and I had moved toward a more progressive evangelical position and knew I would never survive there.) Then it was the day of my ordination. My denomination did have a statement about sex being illicit if it was not between a married man and woman. But, even in that denomination, there were stirrings from folks who wanted that religious tradition, but wanted to come out and be who they were.

8. Middle ground.

I travelled this, “Don’t condemn the orientation but don’t accept the behavior” journey for several years. But, when my Presbytery wanted to adopt a very anti-gay statement — all full of hellfire and brimstone — I found myself fighting a battle against any such policy. I think it was mostly because I had earned a doctorate in education and psychology and no longer believed that sexual orientation was a choice.

Education is a dangerous thing, they surely thought!

9. Decision point.

Recognizing that my days as a minister in this denomination were limited, I took early retirement and, 6 months later, resigned my ordination. My wife and I joined a church that had (close to) full inclusion.

10. The aftermath.

Since then, I have had many gay partnered friends and served on discernment committees (in fact chaired them) of openly gay folks seeking ordination. That journey took years. I’m glad I took the journey, although it really cost me my ordination.

Someone is sure to say, “But the Bible clearly says...”

Well, the Bible says many things. It is sexist, racist, xenophobic, and darn right silly at times. I have come to say that when the Bible and common sense face off (for me at least) common sense, common decency, and kindness win.

Do I think you can prove that the Bible is not homophobic? In all honesty? No. Not on the surface at least. But as the third-century church father Origen put it:

The source of many evils lies in adhering to the carnal or external part of Scripture. Those who do so shall not attain to the kingdom of God. Let us therefore seek after the spirit and the substantial fruit of the word which are hidden and mysterious.”

And again:

the Scriptures are of little use to those who understand them as they are written.

And:

Clinging to the flesh [that is, the literal meaning] of Scripture opens up the door for many evils. “Those who do these things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” So, then, let us seek the spirit of Scripture and the fruits that are not readily apparent to the eye. For the fruit of the Spirit is found in Scripture only with great effort, exertion, and careful study.

I explain this more in detail here and here (the order is important). Basically, I found Jesus in a whole new way only after I let go of literal acceptance of every word of the text. I would argue that he didn’t view it that way.

But really, I lost my gay aversion through knowing and befriending many, many gay folks. As one partner in a queer couple said to me, “You know, James, our neighbors think we are weird. They just don’t know how normal our lives are.”

About then, my friends and I were all passing around Stranger at the Gate by Mel White. He makes quite the case for letting the stranger in.

I agree.

Friends, please be careful out there. Our nation is getting crazier by the minute. I don’t know which way it will go. So many of us worked for peace and justice. It is heartbreaking to see what is happening. How can we, our nation, and the Church find our way? It begins with acceptance, saying no to hate, and letting the stranger in, not just at the gate, but in your heart and life.