The Journey of Finding My Purpose in Life
It’s definitely not being a Country singer, playing my guitar, and riding my horse.
What I wanted to be when I grew up by age:
5–10 years old: A country singer, playing my guitar and riding my horse
10–15 years old: Veterinarian
15–20 years old: History Professor
20–25 years old: Nurse
Present (28 years old): Entrepreneur
When I was a child, I remember listening to Shania Twain and thinking that I wanted to be just like her. I had this idea in my head that all country singers rode their horses around and strummed their guitars. I was very wrong about this, but a little girl can dream, right? I remember creating my own stages on top of laundry baskets and performing “Honey I’m Home” and “Any Man of Mine”. I was dead set on being a country star.
But I grew a little older and I changed.
As I got older, I realized that I had this undying love for animals. I wanted them all. I wanted to love them and take care of them. This is when I decided that I wanted to be a Veterinarian. I was going to save all the animals.
Once again, got older and changed.
In my older years, I had chosen degree plans like History because I loved History. I started taking courses in college to become a Professor. I wanted to share my love and passion for History with other people. I quickly realized that I did not like this career path. History was more of a hobby for me and I didn’t want to turn it into something that I wouldn’t enjoy anymore.
This change was a hard realization for me to accept.
I chose nursing in my early to mid-twenties because I wanted to make a difference in the world. I wanted to help people, but I was also very interested in the money. I soon realized that I was not built for the medical field. My heart was in the right place, but my mind was not. I give props to you nurses out there. You are greatly admired and appreciated by me.
This was the change that made me realize that I was all out of ideas. I took this change the hardest because every purpose I ever had in my life was gone. I was lost.
When I was in my mid to late twenties I got very sad. One of the key components of the chaotic depression that I spiraled into was the lack of purpose in my life. I felt lost and didn’t know where to go. Do I stay a General Manager for the rest of my life and work my way up the business ladder? Am I truly happy being a manager? The answer to both of these questions was No.
When I came out on the other side of my depression, my mindset changed. Before, I never had any confidence in my ability to build myself into the happiest version of myself. I was never good enough to start a business or try something new. I let fear rule my choices in life. I played it safe so I would never fail.
I remember the first instance that my mindset was different:
The first article I ever posted on Medium.
My writing has always been special to me and very private. I didn’t want the world to know my true feelings or thoughts. I also assumed everyone would think I was less than because of my writing. I was so very wrong. Not only did I post my writing online for the world to see, but the topic was also very in-depth and personal. I laid my very private feelings and thoughts into that post and was so proud of myself. I think at this point in my recovery, I didn’t care what other people would think. All I cared about was making myself proud.
Once I moved into this new daunting and courageous area of my life, I realized that there was so much more that I wanted to do. I wanted to sew, but not just for myself. I wanted my sewing to make others happy. I wanted my sewing to positively affect other people’s lives.
So I decided to start the process of creating a sewing business.
It has been the best decision I’ve ever made. I’m not open for business yet, but just the preparation for opening is so exciting. I am beyond pumped to put my products into the world. I cannot wait to market my brand and connect with people from different parts of the country.
I’m finally doing what I’ve always wanted. This is definitely not what I had envisioned for myself 10–15 years ago, but it is so much better. Going through my depression and realizing the importance of my happiness has truly been amazing. I know that this path is truly the only path for me.
The best advice I can give anyone who is struggling with their purpose in life is to choose something that brings you joy. Choose a career path that you can be proud of. Do not give in to your fears of failure. I can’t tell you how many times I have had small failures throughout my sewing journey so far. These failures are so necessary for becoming better at whatever you decide to do! Embrace them and turn those failures into wins!