The Internet is a Dangerous Place

Emotional harm is something real and we cannot neglect it

I usually say that the Internet is a dangerous place. This may sound like a joke, but it is not.

About ten years ago, I made an account on a site for writers. It was in my native language, Bulgarian, and was quite popular. Until then I have quit writing for years because I got married, and after that, I changed my job. Then I got pregnant, then my second child came, and my life was too busy to think about writing.

But in 2014 my children were already grown up, and something led me to the writing site. I made my account, found some old stories, and decided to put them there. I was rather excited because… you can imagine — I had no such earlier experience. Almost no one had read my pieces except my best friend. I was happy when the stories had a nice presentation and encouraging comments. At that time, I preferred to write most of all fiction stories. So, I started a sequel, and it had even more success.

All was great until a man wrote me a personal message. Let’s tell him, Peter.

First, there was no problem. We exchanged several polite messages about writing, reading books, and life. I had to admit that the communication was pleasant, and I saw nothing wrong with it.

I have always gotten along well with men, and have many male friends.

Peter was also Bulgarian, but he lived for years in the UK. He was a truly intelligent man, and we had lots of topics to discuss. Months passed, and no matter the distance between us, I thought he was a good friend of mine.

He urged me to start writing poetry again. I wrote poetry when I was a teen, and until my late twenties, then I stopped. I don’t know why. Maybe because poetry was something truly personal for me, and expressed my unpleasant feelings of disappointment, loneliness, and uncertainty. When I started my first job, it helped me overcome my introverted features, and I became more self-confident.

So, Peter encouraged me to rediscover poetry. We made some funny challenges — we both wrote the same topic and put our poems on the site. Then we teased each other about who was the best poet. I think it became the first problem between us because people liked my poetry more than his. His ego was harmed. I felt his frustration when we talked. So, I decided to put off another such poetry contest. We avoided this theme and things between us became nice again.

Once, we shared our phone numbers, and from time to time made friendly phone calls.

Maybe half a year after the start of our communication, Peter informed me that he and his wife would come to Bulgaria in the summer. It was after about two months. He also told me that it would be very pleasant if we could meet and spend some time together. I thought he was talking about “us” as couples — he and his wife, me and my husband. But, no.

The other day I opened my email and found a new message. It was from Peter. There was an attached text file, and I opened it. I was so surprised to see that in the file there was an erotic story, and the main characters in it were… me and Peter.

Oh, God! I couldn’t articulate even a mere word. My mind was empty. I was so, so embarrassed.

How could he do that? Was I so silly to trust we were good friends? Was I so unbelievably stupid to see no earlier signs about what would happen?

I just wrote an answer, ‘What does this story mean? I don’t understand!’

He answered me hours later, and explained that he was in love with me! I knew he had some family problems. He shared with me that he did not love his wife as strongly as he used to before.

I remember once he said, ‘I live with her to avoid formalities and because of our daughter.’

I did not take these words seriously. I thought it was a sort of midlife crisis because soon Peter turned 45.

He also explained to me that when he talked about a rendezvous, he wanted to meet just me. He meant to organize a love date.

When I asked him if he was talking about having sex, the answer was… “Yes”.

It wasn’t about love, it was about cheating.

I told him that we should stop our communication. Instantly.

I stopped answering his emails, messages, and calls. He continued to bother me.

When I blocked him everywhere, he made another account and wrote me again. He also spread some ugly rumors around the site and I had no idea how to protect myself.

I felt endangered, no matter if there wasn’t a direct danger. I erased my account and left the site.

I could not sleep well and had nightmares. I was insulted and sad. A supposed-to-be-friendship was ended in a rather ugly way.

That is why the Internet might be really dangerous for our mental health and inner peace.

There is nothing wrong with virtual friendships — on the contrary, they might be great, but we should be very careful.

It is the same as in the reality.

Thank you for reading.

If you’d like to see more of my stories, you’re welcome: