The Insane Desire of Our Unconscious

Poetry Challenge Day 22: At the centre is the void

warning a bit raw: no authors damaged in the writing of this piece

If the center is the void the vast emptiness does it call out to be filled?

Nature abhors a void okay vacuum but what’s the difference? both a space with no air.

Is the call of the void as defined by the urban dictionary an insane desire of my unconsciousness?

Does the void fill my conscious mind with images of destruction, death and more questions?

I have been at the edge, seduced by the promises in the void.

I have seen my car plummet off the hi-lo bridge into the murky waters of the Maumee below as if it were occurring in “real-time”

I have calculated how many stories it would take to fall into a painless death and have Jesus take me home to the void. Or is it to avoid? More questions.

the void, that still nothingness of all time and no time all pain and no pain, all sensation and none.

I held the knife plunged into the chest of my betrayer, but no blood spurts, no pleas of “how could you do this to me?” a misty gray edging of the white light gleaming off the bloodless blade silence screaming out of the void, a throbbing heart beat pulsing in the white light

the void, that still emptiness of all space and no space all hope and no hope, all beginnings and none.

I stood on the precipice drinking in the updraft feeling the wind whisper under my organza skirt whistle through my blouse as I stepped off, really leaned in and fell, falling to certain death yet I am here still breathing, on solid ground, in still air.

Reflection on this concept:

A writing kick-off trick I use is “look it up” what does the word really mean? When I looked up “at the center is the void” I was lead to an urban dictionary that said the following:

“the call of the void is the thought to jump off the ledge you are standing on; wondering what would happen if you drove your car into another car or person; it is the thought of “I could kill someone so easily right now” when holding a knife, hammer, or what have you. it is the insane desire of our unconscious, but it is nothing to worry about unless you relish and enjoy these thoughts.”

I was both relieved and shocked as I read this description. I’ve had each of those visions. I realize it is a deep desire to remove pain and find peace. But the void has some pretty drastic ideas about how to achieve that! I have not been sucked into the voids illusion of peace, yet. And learning that my reactions are archetypical is a great comfort.

Next challenge Day 23: Letting go of herd mentality… never had it how will I let it go?