The Importance of Talking About Domestic Abuse

And why we’re so reluctant to do it

People don’t like talking about domestic violence, but I don’t care. We are told from a young age that other people’s business is theirs. And we are not to intrude, ask questions, or pry.

That is why domestic violence is so prevalent, because of this whole, what happens behind closed doors stays there attitude. People think that talking about it won’t help, but it will. Because talking about it lets people know that other people are going through it too. And it lets them know that they are not alone and people WILL help them.

Why Don’t We Want to Talk About It?

My mum used this phrase a lot. And I never knew what it meant until recently.

There but for the grace of God go I.

And I think that’s a massive reason behind people’s reluctance to talk about domestic abuse. The people not going through it feel lucky. And they don’t want to push that luck or jinx it by bringing this up.

Shame and Stigma

Domestic abuse is often accompanied by shame and embarrassment for victims. Society’s stigmatisation of domestic violence leads survivors to blame themselves or feel judged by others, which prevents them from sharing their experiences. As Maevyn Frey pointed out: “women are often blamed for their own abuse.”

Normalisation of Abuse

Many people would rather not talk about domestic abuse because they see it as a “private matter” or a normal part of relationships. This normalisation of abusive behaviour can lead to a reluctance to intervene because dinosaurs think it’s a normal part of life and that’s the way it should be.

Lack of Understanding

Because of the lack of conversation, there is a lack of awareness about the complexities of domestic abuse. Some people don’t recognise the signs of abuse or may downplay the seriousness of the situation.

Fear of Repercussions

Friends, family members, or colleagues of the victim may be hesitant to talk about domestic abuse due to concerns about getting involved in a dangerous situation or facing legal consequences.

Why We Absolutely Must Talk About It

Raising Awareness and Shattering Myths

By sharing stories, statistics, and accurate information, we debunk myths surrounding domestic abuse. For far too long, there has been a mistaken belief that it only affects a certain group or is limited to physical abuse. In truth, domestic violence includes a range of abusive behaviours, including emotional, psychological, financial, and sexual abuse.

Women are abusers too

While most domestic violence cases involve male perpetrators and female victims, the idea that women cannot be abusers is idiotic. Addressing domestic violence by female perpetrators is vital in understanding the issue. Every survivor deserves the same level of support, regardless of gender identity.

LGBTQIA Survivors

Within the LGBTQ+ community, the presence of abuse is a reality that needs more attention than it gets. And due to rampant police corruption and despicable behaviour, many LGBTQIA victims are scared to come forward. The fear that they will be discriminated against is too much to bear.

Providing Support and Empowering Survivors:

Breaking the silence around domestic abuse will create an environment where survivors feel seen and heard. When they share their experiences, they should be met with empathy, compassion, and a sense of community. But they’re not. Most of the time they’re faced with blame, shame, guilt and rationalisation.

Holding Perpetrators Accountable:

Discussing domestic violence would help shift the focus from victim-blaming to holding perpetrators accountable for their actions. Openly addressing abusive behaviour sends a strong message that violence and abuse are unacceptable and will not be tolerated in our society. It would encourage bystanders to intervene, report abuse, and support people who might be at risk.

Will it Ever Happen?

I doubt it. I think there is currently a massive backslide regarding domestic violence. With little boy podcasts and religious groups telling women to endure their abuse because it’s what Jesus wants. Well, if Jesus wants that, he’s kind of a dick. Thankfully there will always be people to provide a safe space for the women and men affected by abuse.