The Importance of Living With Joy And Instinct

Wisdom from one of the world’s top professional athletes.

This article isn’t about sports or sports psychology.

It’s about the importance of living with as much enjoyment, vibrancy, and peace as possible.

Professional men’s tennis player Carlos Alcaraz is currently ranked number two in the world. He won the U.S. Open in 2022 at the age of 19 and holds a total of eight singles titles already in his career.

He’s strong, well-coached, practices hard, and has a likable demeanor on and off the court. No acting out, grandstanding, racquet smashing, pouting, whining, or acting like a spoiled brat.

I’ve watched and read some of his interviews. Recently he said he aims to play with “joy and instinct.”

Joy and instinct.

Joy — a feeling of great pleasure and happiness.

Instinct — a natural ability that helps you decide what to do or how to act without thinking.

I found Carlos’s comments incredibly refreshing because it’s so easy for us to lose the sense of happiness and present-moment awareness as we go about our daily lives — working hard, paying the bills, raising our children, learning a new skill, or playing golf or tennis.

Too often, we start out with great intentions of enjoying something, and then along the way, we lose the spark and enthusiasm for it, and it becomes drudgery. We get caught up in trying too hard, overthinking, and getting frustrated when we think we’re not successful enough as quickly as we’d like.

We get stressed out and less effective.

And, when we get stressed, our attention often goes from living in the present moment to worrying about the future or getting stuck in what we should have done differently yesterday. Stress, agitation, ego, and the talkative mind pull us away from our intuition.

Intuition is not something to take for granted. It’s incredibly powerful when we feel it, listen to it, and allow it to help us.

Our talkative mind kicks in and fills the space created when we get disconnected from our more intuitive, heart-based self.

When we lose our heart-based connection, we get tight, show up with less confidence, and are more prone to self-doubt, making mistakes, and then berating ourselves for not doing better.

We don’t learn easily or perform at our peak when tense, afraid, or nervous.

On the other hand, joy and happiness are expansive energies.

They fill the space we allow them. Living with a spirit of joy and trusting our natural self is like turning on the light in a dark room. The oh-so-scary darkness disappears as if it were never there.

Joy and instinct come from our higher self, not our ego or the talkative mind. The more we live from our higher self, the more confident, relaxed, and peaceful we are. We trust ourselves and make decisions that will further the likelihood of bringing more of the good things in life — peace, fulfillment, and prosperity into our life.

Joy and instinct don’t come from a mindset filled with limiting beliefs or negative self-talk that sub-optimizes our lives.

You’ll never hear self-talk like the examples below from the spirit of joy and instinct.

• “I’ll never find a job I really love.”
• “I could never learn how to play piano.”
• “I’m not good enough.”

We’re at our best when we’re happy and confident and allow our natural abilities to manifest. Relaxed concentration is often how athletes describe the peak performance state, known as “the zone.”

This is what Carlos is saying.

He knows the key to being successful isn’t to focus on winning. The key is to put in the hard work, trust his natural self and enjoy the ride and his results when he gets on the court.

So how do we have the life we want without losing touch with our hearts, getting fried by the stress, the long hours at work, and the various challenges life dishes up?

We get clear on what we want in life and pursue it with love.

I’ve gone through the grind of corporate America while raising a family. So I know what’s it like to be up at the crack of dawn, off to work, and then falling asleep while telling kids bedtime stories. It’s not easy, and during those years, I lost my way more than once as I let myself get sidetracked by the allure of the big paycheck, the temporary high of risky behavior, and choices that weren’t thought through carefully.

As I approach seventy-two, I aim to pursue a peaceful life more than anything else. I won’t sacrifice that for anything.

My aim every day is to be quietly joyful and grateful.

I don’t need a giant smile on my face twenty-four a day. It’s the invisible smile that counts. And I’ve found the more I trust my instincts; the more life flows for me. I don’t need to push, strain, or struggle.

I make an effort towards whatever mini-goal I’m pursuing (building my consulting business, learning to play golf, figuring out how to solve a problem), and I let go of my attachment to the outcomes.

I trust the process and realize the timing of delivering the outcomes is not up to me. Therefore, I allow my efforts to flow from my instincts and inner contentment.

As a result, good things come to me now more easily than ever — strong relationships, lucrative work opportunities, health, love, and personal satisfaction.

We all have our secret sauce regarding what helps us be our best selves. For you, it might be sitting quietly and reflecting or hiking in the woods. My secret sauce has been meditation — specifically raja yoga (royal union).

In simplistic terms, raja yoga is the process of connecting our mind with our spirit. Awareness of the breath is essential to raja yoga, particularly at the beginning of each practice. However, after the talkative mind settles down, the breath has little to do with the experience of inner peace and joy.

The purpose of focusing on the breath is to distract the mind. The mind needs something entertaining and soothing to calm it down and bring us into the present moment.

Both joy and our natural instincts (intuition) reside in the present moment.

Therefore, the more we can bring ourselves into the present moment, the more we increase our ability to experience life at its best.

Joy exists within us all the time. But, unfortunately, we drift away from it and get disconnected. Hence, the importance of the connection between mind and spirit. Allowing joy to come from our inner life is why meditation is such a practical life tool.

The other thing I’ve found that helps is to have some mental reminders in your bag of tricks. So, the next time you’re faced with a challenge or a difficult conversation, prepare to play golf or tennis or find yourself stuck in traffic; remind yourself to:

Live your life with joy and instinct.

I think you’ll find it helps you remember what’s really important in life.

One more thing —

I’m Don Johnson. I write essays about life, love, and the pursuit of peace, wholeness, and freedom.

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