The Importance of Keeping in Touch

Your ‘Hello’ matters. It does.

We humans live an average of 72 years on the planet Earth, which is 4.54 billion years old as of now. We don’t know for certain how many mortals like us roamed in the very land we dwell and we don’t know for certain how many will come after us.

Despite our limited time on this planet. We often opt to live unhappily, distant, and cold.

The first voice, the first face a human recognizes is of a close family member. Strangely, though as we grow old, the close family members i.e.: grandparents, siblings, uncles and aunties, cousins, and in some cases parents, whom we loved so much and with whom we had our best of times are systematically put on the back burner in our list of priority.

We enter in the mad race to earn money, we leave our native towns, we marry some beautiful girl, settle down, and have kids and new friends.

Then suddenly with a phone call or a letter or through Social Media, we are told about the demise of some close family member, whom we haven’t talked to in ages, what to talk of meeting. And for a moment, that tragic news forces us to think about that person and all the bittersweet memories come rushing through and you tell your wife or friends about it, and you feel sad. We write emotional posts or if we can attend the funeral, we do that and eulogies the dead.

At the funeral, you realize that the person you once loved died in pain or poverty, or worse he or she died alone. You shed some tears, that if you had known, you could have helped.

But what’s the fun in crying over the spilled milk?

An Advice I’ll Never Forget

It was in 2015 probably that I found myself in an awkward conversation with my beloved Uncle who was here on his routine visit from the USA.

He asked, “How often do you call your maternal grandfather?”

I had no answer, because till then, I took it for granted, I only used to meet him at Eid Festivals or whenever I visited the farm. Other than that, I never talked to him over the phone myself. That was odd, considering he was my only grandparent left.

He then asked, “How often do you talk to your maternal uncles and aunts”?

And I was stupefied to realize that, calling my close family was a rare occasion in my life. I was in contact with some regularly but I didn’t contact most of them very often. It was not that there was some bad blood between us, but I just didn’t give this matter any importance.

He then said “Listen, always find time in your busy schedule to call all your family members and friends once a week, if not then at least once a month, make it your habit and tell me how you feel”

He went back to the States and I was again busy in my 9–5 hectic job. Then came the weekend.

I was sitting idly and sipping my tea when the advice of my uncle came forth in my terrain of thoughts. I called my Nana Jee (Maternal Grandfather) he was 90 then.

“Who is there?” asked a stern and imposing voice.

“I am Ahsan, Nana Jee”

“Who Ahsan?” He asked

“Nana jee , Ahsan Cheema from Karachi?” I replied.

“Oh Ahsan, How are you son. Is everything fine? Why are you calling?” He asked worriedly.

“Everyone is fine Nana Jee. I was missing you, and just wanted to ask about your health”

And we talked for almost 10 minutes. After the call, I felt so good, so happy.

I then called all my uncles aunts and cousins whom I occasionally meet at some festival or ceremony. They all sounded alarmed when they heard from me and then were overjoyed that I called to say ‘Hello’.

I made it my routine and called all my distant relatives every weekend. It always felt good and I got to know about their health, activities, their plans, and their problems.

The Feedback

I mailed my uncle after a month and told him all about it and thanked him for teaching me a very valuable lesson.

I luckily archived that mail, so I will reproduce exactly what he said:

“Dear Ahsan, if you do the right thing then you will stand tall in the crowd and you are helping yourself, not favoring anyone. You must keep in mind that people around you will not be doing the right thing, you must do the right thing in that situation”

That’s Gold.

So I continued that habit for quite a time but then again got trapped in my busy life and stopped calling many a relative, some of whom are dead now and I can’t talk to them ever again.

Stay In Touch Always

I am writing this for myself to remind me of the commitment I made years ago and if you also follow the advice of my uncle and make a weekly or fortnightly ritual of calling your loved ones for no other purpose but to say ‘Hello, How are you?’ Let me tell you, you will thank me for life.

So Folks, do stay in touch with your friends and family, you never know how life is treating them. Maybe your call will cheer them up. Maybe your constant communication with your distant cousin helps him or her get over a heartbreak.

Maybe your call will make someone think twice before taking their life. Maybe your aunt needs money or help and she can’t ask directly because of social pressure. Maybe your friend needs you to laugh again?

Maybe someone has only you in their life and they are waiting for you to reach out.

And Maybe that’s what you need to complete your life and to live and die with content and in peace.