The Impact of a Grateful Perspective
How to stop taking things for granted and level up your life.
“The whole world is a series of miracles, but we’re so used to them that we call them everyday things.” -Hans Christian Andersen
Gratitude is that warm fuzzy feeling of thankfulness. It is a sense of deep appreciation for the positive aspects in your life. Research has found that feeling grateful is an important ingredient to overall happiness and also improves us physically, psychologically, and socially. It can seem difficult or even awkward to try and feel grateful on purpose. Intentionally seeking gratitude helps us identify and reflect on what we take for granted and keep a more positive perspective on life.
Why is it that we need to remind ourselves of the good things in our lives? Why do we take things for granted?
It is in our nature to focus on problems. Many of our thoughts are driven by self-improvement, meeting needs, working, and reaching various goals. Because of this focus, humans have discovered, problem solved, and invented our way to where we are now.
We give our energy to the things that we want, need to improve, or change. We tend to always be looking ahead. The things that we see as ‘going well’ do not warrant our time and attention… and they become things that we take for granted.
Constantly working towards something *else* means that our focus is on what we do *not* have.
Yet, these are some of the very things that we feel grateful towards. Look at all of your accomplishments, valuable relationships considered solid, possessions owned, lifestyles of which we have become accustomed. We begin to take them for granted when we do not reflect on their value.
An inner conflict occurs when we want to make something ‘better’… I mean, why would we have gratitude for something that is not ‘good enough’?
So, how can we remember to remain grateful in the process of pursuing bigger and better?
Journaling is the purposeful act of idea organization. A place where we are challenged to articulate and translate abstract thought into concrete language. This process makes us more aware of our thoughts, deepens their emotional impact, and helps us accept our own experiences.
Journaling can help us put things into context and encourages us to create meaning from the details in our life.
Robert A. Emmons, Ph.D., is a professor of psychology and part of The Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley. As a scientific expert on gratitude, Emmons recommends using regular journaling to develop a grateful mindset and focus on the positive aspects of your life. He also states that having the motivation to become happier is an important factor in the efficacy of journaling your gratitude.
When journaling:
- Any medium will do. A notebook, a note app on your phone, a card in your wallet. There are even online gratitude communities. Pick something that works for you!
- Don’t rush. Be aware of how you are feeling. Take your time and relish in the thoughts, be especially aware of the depth of your gratitude.
- Journal just once or twice per week. “We adapt to positive events quickly, especially if we constantly focus on them,” says Emmons.
- Go deep and be detailed. Elaborating about a specific person, event, or thing is more effective than a long list of superficial items.
- Savor surprises. These unexpected events are worth focus as they evoke stronger feelings of gratitude due to the element of surprise.
- Think opposite. Rather than just listing the good, reflect on what your life would be like if you didn’t have certain things.
- Find visual reminders. Two obstacles to gratefulness are forgetfulness and a lack of mindful awareness. Using visual reminders as cues can help stimulate thoughts of gratitude.
- Remember the hard times you have overcome. Remembering difficulties creates a contrast and can help you to feel more grateful in your current state.
- Look for ‘silver linings’. They are not meant to minimize the negative, instead, they allow you to find hidden positives in your world.
Silver Linings: A Golden Cliche.
The proverb may be seem to be worn out and old news, but the meaning behind it is still true. The ‘silver linings’ could even be serendipitous events — where the occurrence and development of events by chance impact you in a happy or beneficial way.
Express your gratitude when talking with the people in your life. Tell them how important they are to you. Chances are that they are grateful for you, too. Make it a habit of looking for the good that surrounds you.
Here is where I tell you to stop and smell the roses.
“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.”― Seneca
