The Illusion of Status and Wealth: Just One More Drug to Cope With Reality

Which illusion do you buy into?

There’s nothing that looks cheaper than an expensive watch.

Wearing your value on your sleeve for everyone to see is like over-advertising a product. The more you advertise, the less valuable the product is.

Ok, I admit it, I’m one of those people who judges the ones that define themselves through their wealth or position in society.

They disgust me. I find them ridiculous. And boring.

Since cards are on the table now, you need to be aware that this is not a call to action.

I’m not asking you to come together to rally against the rich and insecure of the world and rip the Chanel logo off their T-shirts. The logo that turns a $10 tee into a (what I thought would be) a $200 tee.

So I looked it up. The prices are offered ‘upon request’, you need to contact an advisor.

I laughed at the audacity. What exactly do I need advice on? How to be wasteful? How to buy my worth in the form of a logo on my shirt?

What they are selling is an entry fee to a volatile club that (supposedly) everyone wants to be in. They position themselves as cool kids and brand the buyers with the markers of status just like ancient tribes used to.

Because without the tribe, the wannabe cool kids are lost. Frightened, weak, and alone. So they are willing to pay any price. Willing to be branded like cattle. Whatever it takes, just as long as the tribe doesn’t reject them.

Willing to pay any price. And oh, they will pay a hell of a price.

I eventually found out that Chanel T-shirts from older collections, some of them pre-used, vary anywhere between $500 and $5,000.

Read this again: a second-hand T-shirt for $5,000! And when you compare it to a million-dollar watch, it’s not even that crazy.

Obviously, the price is not for the materials that went into the making of that product.

The price is for the illusion. The illusion that it’s all good. That they’re safe. Valued and valuable. That they matter. That their life has meaning and purpose. And that they’re better than others because their house is better than other houses. And their diamonds are bloodier.

Denial is easier on the nerves than facing naked reality. Lucidity is directly proportional to drama, nihilism, misanthropy, depression, and suicide.

The high-status junkies pay colossal sums to transform reality into something more palatable and this is the tool that does the job for them.

“The desire for high status is never stronger than in situations where ordinary life fails to answer a median need for dignity and comfort.” (Alain de Botton, Status Anxiety)

I remember this one time when I went out with some friends. About an hour or so into dinner, a friend of a friend joined us.

The moment he sat down he seemed to be on a mission to make an impression on us, like a toddler taking off his pants in church.

First, there was the name-dropping of important local politicians and friends of the mayor, and how they barbecued together every Sunday. I asked for photos or it didn’t happen, although I knew very well I wouldn’t recognize anybody either way.

Then he told us about his recently acquired boat permit, because ‘you never know when you might need one’. Although we live nowhere near where boats are used.

So we already knew when you might need one: never.

And then he took us outside to show us the mega car that he just bought. Indeed, it looked good. And it was dark blue.

Throughout all the details about how amazing the car was and how fast it can go from 0 to 100 and whatever other things you can say about a car to impress an audience, I rolled my eyes so hard I was afraid they would stay that way.

Especially at the part where he was making sure to imply just how incredibly expensive it was, but also not saying the exact price so he wouldn’t look like an uncivilized swine.

Bragging about possessions ok, but giving the exact price is not ok. Because people can look up the price later anyway. Classy, right?

And then he took us on a ride to demonstrate the car’s abilities. He was right — the car was very fast to take off.

Just as fast as my recently ingested dinner took off from my stomach and landed right on his dashboard.

It was so worth it.

But it was also so unfair. Because just like he was feeling superior to the rest of us because he had the status, I was feeling superior to him because I didn’t need it.

Which at a more objective glance, puts us pretty much in the same place.

We don’t exactly choose our values. They are a product of our upbringing and our social conditioning.

I grew up in a very restrictive household and at one point, my mind probably vowed to do anything in its power to never feel imprisoned again. So one of my top values is freedom, and I do everything to have it.

Maybe he grew up in a loving home, but his parents and their friends were always having luxurious parties and grading each other on a status scale. Maybe he felt safe there and wanted to bring that into his adult life as well.

Or, more likely, maybe status makes him feel safe and valuable.

Maybe he knows no other way. Just like I don’t know any other way to feel safe but by being free.

So then what exactly are we judging? Sinners, who sin differently than us?

I had someone in the comments telling me how he “parts the wealthy from their money and they love it. Is that wrong?” he asked.

My first thought was… no, not wrong. They want it, ask for it, get it, and have fun with it. What’s wrong with that?

But isn’t that the same with drug dealers? The clients want the drug, they are willing to part with a lot of money for it and when they get it they enjoy it. At least for a while. And then they need more.

And they’re willing to do anything to get it. It’s the only way they found to cope with a hostile reality. And that’s just sad.

“A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.” (Frank Zappa

Love this article. Get me a Ko-fi.

Love my writing? Join my email list.

Love reading? Join Medium.