Blabber

The Ice Age is Coming!

The ice age is coming!

I have to admit that I was giggling as I wrote that title. I was reminded of the catch phrase from the fable about Chicken Little. It’s a story that teaches humans that it is not very cool to be a chicken little. It’s downright unacceptable. The herd mind has no tolerance for those who herald doom and gloom.

I am reminded of the many scientists who over the past few years have been proclaiming, A pandemic is coming! A pandemic is coming! No one paid any attention to them.

Recently I wrote an article about my yearning for the local lilac bushes to bloom. (Here) There are several lilac bushes across the street which I can see from my office window. Over a week ago I went over there to more closely inspect the bushes. They had big fat buds that looked like they were going to burst forth in blossom at any minute.

But they didn’t bloom. And they didn’t bloom. So yesterday, during a break in the rain and snow, I went across the street for another close inspection. To my utter horror I saw that all the buds were now black and bent over and drying. It turns out that there will be no lilacs blossoms this year. 2020 will always be etched in my memory as ‘the year the lilac bushes never bloomed.’

The ice age is coming! The ice age is coming!

Okay, there is no scientific evidence that I am aware of that shows that when lilac bushes don’t bloom then an ice age is imminent. There is no logical reason to get my panties in a bunch just because the lilacs didn’t bloom. Of course I’ve never been a Star Trek geek and never joined the cult that believes logic and reasoning are the end all and be all of all life.

So I am concerned. But I’m not freaking out.

Hey, if we can weather a pandemic then we can surely weather an ice age, right?

That may not be true for me, though. The pandemic has been a piece of cake for me but I just don’t think I could survive an ice age. For a sun-worshipping desert rat such as myself an ice age would be downright horrific.

While most people are losing their minds being in lockdown and being forced to spend time alone with themselves, for me it’s not much different than normal. I’ve been living alone for over 15 years now and I really like it. I prefer it. I actually love and cherish my own company. I’m a happy hermit.

I realize that makes me a disturbed, anti-social, introverted, narcissistic a-hole but, hey, that’s who I am. That’s what I was before the pandemic and who I am during the pandemic. Very little has changed. For me, it’s just been life as usual.

Almost. There are a couple of things that have me frustrated, though. For one thing, our local library has been closed down now for over two months. And so has the local thrift store (the only place in this godforsaken town where one can buy books).

As for the thrift store I try to tell myself that it is a good thing it is shuttered because the last thing I need to do right now is buy more books. I just don’t have room for any more books. If I got more books then I would need to buy more lumber to build more bookshelves. And if I got more bookshelves then I would have to throw out some furniture to make room for the bookshelves. Plus, I just don’t have the money right now to buy lumber. Besides, if I buy lumber then more trees would have to be chopped down. Humans are currently chopping down trees at an alarming rate and soon there will be none left and the more trees we chop down, the higher the CO2 levels get in the atmosphere and we all know that super high CO2 levels are what brings on ice ages!

And books are made out of trees, too!

This pandemic might be good for the environment but I can attest that for us book addicts it can be difficult. For me, one of the greatest pleasures in life is to stick my nose into a lilac bush and deeply inhale the fragrance of lilac blossoms. Another great olfactory pleasure is to stick my nose into a hardcover book and take a deep whiff. It’s damn-near hallucinatory.

Hey, I just had a great idea. Instead of using surgical masks or bandana masks, how about using a book as a mask? It might be a problem figuring out how to keep it on my face but I think I might like that.

Okay, maybe the lockdown has indeed driven me a wee bit cuckoo bananas but only a little. Right now I’m more concerned with the irises and daisies. They are both budding right now and if they also don’t bloom then I may end up going over the edge into the realms of lunacy. With snow falling in the middle of May and the flowers not blooming then surely…

…The ice age is coming! The ice age is coming!

Copyright 2020 by White Feather. All Rights Reserved. No trees were murdered in the making of this article. White Feather Archive

Speaking of cold weather…