DEFINE SUCCESS

The Hidden Wisdom: What My Friend’s Kitchen Plan Taught Me About Success

Find a deeper meaning beyond wish lists.

“A big American fridge, a kitchen island, and a family to share it all with.”

That was my friend’s response to my serious question: “When do you know you are successful?”

Had she just trolled me? For a brief moment, I questioned the seriousness of her answer, but as I looked into her twinkling eyes that could light up the room while she further elaborated on her plans for the fridge and kitchen island, it became clear — she meant it.

At the time, I did not quite understand the depth of her answers. Recalling this old memory reminded me of how I was fixated on the so-called right track and my then-limited understanding of success.

After years of walking this so-called right track, experiencing missteps (or what I would rather call realignment and healing), I realised that success is multifaceted. The so-called right track is still a valid path, but it is only right when charted in a way that feels right to you and makes you feel whole. This means living in alignment with what matters most to you, and what matters most to you can come in the form of wish lists.

So, what can I make of my friend’s answer?

I came to understand the importance of delving deeper into an individual’s interpretation of success, even when it might seem like a shopping list. A big fridge signifies an abundant supply of food and security. A kitchen island represents a convenient working space and a gathering area — all to share quality and nurturing time with her loved ones.

Her vision for her kitchen was not simply a list of possessions if at all; rather it was a heartfelt desire for a life filled with abundance, security, and connection. Not only was she clear about her version of success, but she also told me how she measures and recognises it.

Success is not a one-size-fits-all destination but a personalised journey unique to each of us — a journey that only you can design based on what matters most to you.

Life becomes clearer when you know what you value in your life. You stop distracting yourself with the version of success you believe you should be striving for — a bigger house, the latest model of a car, a corporate ladder, and the unending quest for more.

Shush the shoulds.

Once you see through the illusion of the “I will be happy when” checklist, you may start seeing goals as curated jigsaw pieces of your big vision, not the end destination or the obligatory milestones. This is how you enrich your life, acknowledge ongoing progress, and find fulfilment instead of pursuing an endless chase.

So, I got to ask, when do you know you are successful?

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