The Hidden Truth About Meditation

Spoiler alert: it isn’t meant to be easy

Has anybody else tried meditating? Or practiced some form of mindfulness?

No joke, but it’s the in-thing these days. And it’s literally on everyone’s minds (no pun intended).

For many years, I’ve almost always thought of meditation as being something that is typically reserved for the more spiritually-minded amongst us, or better, for those with a bit more life experience under their belt.

I’m twenty-six, and if you asked me five years ago whether meditation was part of my to-do list before I turn thirty, I’d probably have told you to take a hike. Politely, of course.

Except six months ago, it managed to crawl its way into my life. And 1,500 hours later, I can tell you that it is probably the most challenging habit I’ve tried to form. But I’m starting to see why it just might be worth it.

This preconceived notion of pressing pause on your life, taking a trip to someplace so distant that it doesn’t even have a recognisable name, exchanging my clothes for basic robes and forming a new lifestyle that is centered around Om, that was once my definition of meditation. And I’m sure you might have shared a similar one too.

But it seems like this image is starting to be re-drawn. And our perceptions of meditation are starting to change.

So what prompted me to start? Easy: social media. Everywhere I looked (or rather browsed), some famous person was talking about how meditation has helped them think clearly, contributed to their success, given them new perspectives, etc.

Here’s an example that resonated with me, as your typical finance nerd looking to climb that ladder to the top.

“Meditate. I…believe that it has enhanced my open-mindedness, higher-level perspective, equanimity, and creativity. It helps slow things down so that I can act calmly even in the face of chaos, just like a ninja in a street fight.”

― Ray Dalio, Hedge Fund Billionaire & Philanthropist

To be honest, I was at that phase in my life where I needed a bit of clarity about where I was going. Heck I even wrote a story about it.

Besides, a few minutes of relaxation a day sounds like a dream. Umm, not quite.

Here’s what usually happens.

I start by logging in to my chosen app and searching for a guided meditation session that ‘sounds’ interesting. Let’s call it “How to de-stress.” Seems appropriate.

I find a comfortable chair to sit in (there’s no way I’m even going to attempt the widely-acknowledged lotus position) and set the timer for 10 minutes.

The voice of my virtual instructor begins to speak.

He starts by telling me to close my eyes. Check

He then tells me to breathe. Check

He then tells me to imagine sunlight glowing from the middle of my chest. Huh?

Okay’s let’s try this again. Sunlight. Focus. You got this.

30 seconds later.

I forget about the sunlight. I forget that I’m meditating. My mind is wandering from thought to thought.

Two minutes later.

I now realise that I’ve lost focus. This slowly starts to annoy me. I give it another go, this time forcing myself to concentrate, and while my mind is momentarily successful, the tendency to find distractions kicks in again.

And now I’m furious with myself.

A voice then re-emerges informing me that it is time to move on to the next phase.

“Focus on your breath” he says. I give it my all, but the end result is the same. My mind embarks on its next train of thoughts, forgetting about where it once was. By this point, I am seriously agitated.

Nine-and-a-half minutes go by.

We are beyond the “sunlight” phase. We are beyond the “focus on your breath” phase. My instructor tells me to let my mind wander.

Oh, now you give me permission to do so!

But in those last 30 seconds, when I know the session is coming to a close and I’ve practically surrendered, something uniquely special starts to happen.

I find myself lost. Not in my thoughts. But in a moment of ease.

I’ve given up trying to concentrate. The tension I was carrying starts to disappear. My frustration with the exercise is now a distant memory.

I simply sit there. Still. Feeling nothing. Thinking about nothing. I am at ease with myself. It’s surprisingly peaceful. I wish this would last for a while. I could use some of this in my life.

“And now gently open your eyes.”

Dammit!

Okay, let’s pause for a moment to take stock. In 10 minutes of attempted meditation, I manage to clock 30 seconds of relaxation. This doesn’t exactly scream like something worth doing.

Hold that thought (again, no pun intended).

Something is better than nothing

I’m a thinker. I’ll admit that. My mind is constantly occupied by an immense flurry of thoughts, which more often than not, I find near impossible to control.

As you might expect, meditation can be a huge struggle for someone like me. It’s frustrating to accept defeat with yourself. There are days when I’ll simply give up midway through the exercise, as I sense I am wasting time. “Today simply isn’t my day,” I’d say to myself.

But like every struggle, time is often on your side. It might take nine-and-a-half minutes to get there or even a couple of sessions if I’m having a tough week, but eventually, I am where I want to be. My thoughts are where I want them to be. Those precious moments of pure relaxation, however long they last, feel scarce. They feel meaningful. They feel worth it.

And so while I might be hesitant to say this, those 30 seconds of peace might just outweigh the agitation and restlessness that is needed to get there. They were of course, 30 seconds that I never once had in my life.

An awareness of being aware

Here is something else that I’ve noticed.

When it is time to eventually open my eyes, my first thought isn’t really a thought. It’s an observation. I start to acknowledge where I am and what is in front of me.

Things that were simply there gently start to come to life. Be it a window that is beaming with sunlight, or furniture that now appears a whole lot brighter.

Amongst the stillness of my surroundings, I begin to smile. Not because I can finally move on with my day, but because I am now embraced by an overwhelming sense of gratitude…for the simple things that I’ve often overlooked in my life.

Sometimes in those moments when things aren’t going your way, you simply need a reminder of what you have, not what you don’t. Meditation helps me remember this.

Someday it might pay off

As hard as meditation is for someone who is constantly “on-the-go”, I’ve kept at it. Like any habit that one might look to form, it requires daily discipline and commitment (though I’ll happily admit that I’ve often forgotten about it some days!)

But generally speaking, taking time out of my schedule to enhance my mindset serves as a reminder that I am working on my future self. I am making an investment today that will hopefully reap rewards in the future.

There is no guarantee that it will work. I know that. It’s like any investment you make. The outcome is always unpredictable. But would my future self regret the fact that I didn’t even try? Yeah, probably.

So here’s my advice: an open mind helps

My early struggles with meditation were built on the very fact that I was stressed about not being able to relax straight away. In search of a moment of bliss, I found myself engulfed by a sea of agitation.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

After six months and over 1500 hours of trying to meditate, I’ve come to realise that my initial perspective was probably wrong.

While I had dispelled the pre-conceived myth about meditation being for the spiritually-inclined, I had failed to recognise that meditation isn’t just about relaxation.

There is more to it than that. A whole lot more. Google it if you don’t believe me.

The journey you find yourself on as you begin to think with greater clarity, strengthen your mindset with added positivity, and improve your lifestyle by being more present (which is a fancy way of saying you get less stressed out), those are the benefits that meditation can bring. And someday, these might end up contributing towards a little more relaxation in your life.

While I’ll admit that I don’t think I will ever be able to get to a stage where I have complete control over my mind (at least not in the foreseeable future), I think I’m okay with that. I’ll even go as far as saying I’m quite relaxed about that.

I’m fine with just working on my future self, no matter how hard that may be, and regardless of whether it helps me to relax or not. I’m content with finding those rare moments of stillness that have long been absent in my life.

So is meditation worth it? Well, I guess it depends on what you are looking for.

I don’t think meditation will make all your stresses and concerns go away, at least not initially. I’ve realised that the hard way. But what it might just do is give you something else to think about. Something you never noticed about yourself.

And whether it contributes to one’s future success or not, I genuinely don’t know. Nobody does. But I guess I have nothing to lose by trying, no matter how hard it may be. And neither do you.