Relationships

The Hidden Pandemic That Is Destroying Millions Of Lives

And at the same time is making millions of dollars for the legal and mental health professions

As of this moment some 25 million people in the USA and Canada alone have been affected by nothing less than a pandemic of epic proportions. The number of children affected is off the scale. And to make matters worse, there are two professions that are making fortunes from it. The pandemic goes by the name of Parental Alienation.

Parental alienation is effectively a denial of access to a parent's child or children by the parent who usually has legal custody. In the majority of cases the culprits are female, though obviously males are also culpable, albeit to a lesser degree.

It has to be said, denial of access is just the tip of the iceberg. In worst-case scenarios, the absent parent is totally emasculated and erased as if he or she never even existed. In almost all cases a child's mind is poisoned against the non-custodial father or mother with lies and manipulation to the point that the child actually rejects the parent completely.

As an affected, twice married and divorced parent of four children, I know only too well the depth of human pain and suffering that is going largely untreated. The feeling that goes with the experience of being rejected by your own offspring is indescribable.

To have a child you love so much turned against you is quite frankly appalling. I have had that experience twice over. Children who I helped to bring up, who I doted upon, nursed, nurtured, for nothing more than vindictiveness, were used as weapons to hurt me. Not a single thought was given to the trauma and damage to the child being weaponised.

When my first ex-wife took it upon herself to deny me contact with my children I took her to court on at least two occasions. The second time I asked the judge to make a court order allowing me access to my three children with denial by my ex-wife being a punishable offence. Here is what the judge told me.

"I am legally able to do that Mr Ireland, the law has been established and passed by the government. And, as an acting judge it is well within my power to set that court order you ask for in motion. However, I am not going to do that, and neither will most of my colleagues, and here is why.

Once I set that court order and she falls out of line, I am legally bound to punish your wife. I only have two options open to me; I can send her to jail or I can fine her. No judge wants to send a mother of three young children to jail. Equally distasteful, imposing a financial penalty would be seen as imposing a very negative impact on her ability to support the children.

All I can do Mr Ireland is caution her about what could happen and hope that she toes the line. After that, every time she denies you access you will have to come back to me and I will do my best to again pull her into line. I'm sorry, but that is the best I can do for you." In this way, the law is a toothless tiger.

Of course, usually the wife is ably abetted by her family and friends. I know for an absolute fact that both of my ex-wives painted me as a good-for-nothing loser to all and sundry, who passed it on to my kids. At the time of my first divorce I had an excellent career in the performing arts which my parents-in-law disapproved of. They thought that I should get a better job, even though the work I was doing was as economically rewarding as any 'normal' occupation.

Many years after the fact one of my daughters told me that her grandmother had once asked her what she wanted to do when she became an adult. My daughter replied that she would like to work in the performing arts. To this her grandmother replied, "Well I don't know why, a fat lot of good it has done that loser of a father of yours."

In the case of my second ex-wife with whom I had a son, the denial of access reached the point where the court appointed an intermediary for the delivery and collection of the child. This did improve matters a great deal, but even then there were times when access was denied and packs of lies were told to justify it.

In the end, my second ex-wife decided to move country and illegally removed my son behind my back. By this time the boy had had his mind well and truly poisoned against me and was complicit in the kidnapping, along with the help of a bent attorney and his female assistant who pretended to be his friends.

It is now seven years since I last saw my son. I know not how nor where he is and lack the resources to conduct an international search for him. And to go through all of that only to be rejected by him anyway is not an idea that fills my heart with joy.

At one point I did manage to contact social services in the United Kingdom, which was where I suspected the boy and his mother lived, and lo and behold he was found. However, social services only made telephone contact with the boy who, no doubt egged on by his ever-present mother in the background, claimed that he was well and had no interest in having anything to do with me. That hurt some I can tell you.

And so here I am in the not so unique position of being a childless father of four children, as if I was never anything more than a sperm donor. In the meantime, countless legal attorneys and psychiatric counselors are making a fine living from the fallout of this pandemic. Globally the business must be worth millions, maybe even billions, of dollars, pounds, and euros. It's dirty work and I guess somebody has got to do it, but it would be really something if the law wasn't quite so toothless in dealing with this problem

Aldric Chen Kim Mccord Lucia Landini Kim Zuch Esther George Agnes Laurens