The Head Push Needs to Stop

It’s the worst way to ask for a blowjob

It’s almost impossible to be a sexually active woman who’s into men and not have at least a few bad encounters with blowjobs.

Most of mine were in the context of relationships. Two of my boyfriends regularly pressured me and tried to emotionally manipulate me into giving them oral.

But one time, I encountered the dreaded head pusher.

It was a would-be one-night stand at a beach party.

He seemed interested in me. I was interested enough, too. I took him back to my tent.

We started fooling around, and he got very pushy, very fast.

I mean that literally. He tried to push my head down onto his cock.

I wasn’t interested in sucking him off at all. I consider oral sex more intimate than penetration. It’s not something I do until I get really comfortable with someone, and I didn’t even know this guy. It just wasn’t going to happen.

He might have learned that about me if he had bothered asking. But he was clearly not interested in using his words.

I resisted the force from his hand, using every muscle in my arms and neck to keep my head above his waist.

He tried again.

I said no.

He tried another time.

I didn’t give him a chance to go for a fourth push. I kicked him repeatedly until he decided it wasn’t worth the trouble and he left.

All things considered, I was kind of lucky. I was lucky that my resistance eventually worked.

But I was also lucky that it only happened once.

What Happens When You Push Her Head Down

A lot of things happen when you try to push someone’s head down on your cock.

For one thing, your attempt at getting sexual pleasure might very well backfire.

Beach Guy had a half-decent night in store for him. If nothing else, he was going to get laid with no strings attached.

That changed when he pushed my head down. At that very moment, I was no longer willing to go all the way with him.

But even then, I was still going to give him a handjob. Not because I was still interested in him, but because I was in a vulnerable position and no longer felt safe. Sadly, sometimes you have to find the most tolerable way to make a guy come so you can just get out of the situation.

When he kept pushing my head, though, he didn’t even get that.

One of the reasons the head push backfires is that it completely changes the blowjob dynamic.

Giving head can be a lot of fun, and I’m sure that can even be true in one-night stands. But there’s a huge difference between giving a blowjob and having your head forced down on someone’s cock.

Giving a blowjob is something fun I do to my partner. But if you’re pushing my head down, it becomes a demand, not a shared activity.

It’s something you’re trying to make me do, not an act I’m willingly participating in.

You might be bristling at my use of “willingly” here. Maybe you think pushing a girl’s head down to your crotch is just a non-verbal way of asking for head.

But it’s not asking. Asking means I get to say no. Pushing my head down means I have to fight back physically while saying no.

That’s not giving me options — that’s you deciding for me and then pretending it was a request.

Even if It Works, You Shouldn’t Want It To

I know one of the reasons guys keep doing it is because it works.

For every Beach Guy, there’s probably at least one man who got his cock into a semi-willing woman’s mouth with just a forceful push.

In fact, if I look back on other situations I’ve been in, there are times I would have probably given in to a head push. Not because I would have found it sexy but because I would have felt like I had to.

So, it could work. But even if it does, it’s not something you should want.

For one thing, you’ll probably get the least enthusiastic blowjob ever.

I have no idea if I’m good at giving head, but I at least put in an effort.

I try to work different parts of the cock. I suck and lick in different ways to keep things interesting. I modify my technique based on my partner’s reactions.

I want to have fun doing it and I want to give my partner a good experience, so I bring my A game every single time.

But if I gave in to a head pusher? That would suck all the excitement out of it for me, and I would give the least exciting suck as a result.

I would blow with the least effort I could get away with while wondering “When is this going to be over?”

That’s bad enough during a hookup, but in the context of a relationship, it could take a real toll on your partner. If you repeatedly push your girlfriend or wife’s head down to your cock, you’ll probably really sour them on the whole blowjob thing.

If you’re pushing, don’t be surprised if she eventually declares that she just doesn’t give head anymore.

I know that’s what I’d do if my husband started pulling that move on me.

But none of that really touches on the real reason you shouldn’t do the head push.

It’s not because you’ll get worse head or not get head at all.

It’s because it’s assault.

At the very least, it’s rapey AF.

When someone agrees to suck you off because you’re shoving their head down into your lap and they don’t feel like fighting you off, can’t fight you off, or are too scared to fight you off, their consent is dubious at best.

If you’re okay with that, I really don’t know what to say. Because that’s deeply fucked up.

There’s No Good Reason to Be a Head Pusher

I know everyone is different. Hooking up with a guy, you don’t know if he’s into feet, if he likes to be tied up and spanked, or if he wants you to do weird things with a toothbrush.

But it’s usually safe to assume he enjoys getting a blowjob.

We know our oral efforts are welcome and appreciated, so if we want to go down on you, we won’t hesitate to undo your belt and show you what we can do.

And if your partner likes it really rough and wants her head shoved down, she’ll let you know.

None of us are forgetting to give a blowjob until a firm push to the back of the head reminds us that it’s an option. We’re all very well aware, thank you very much.

If we’re not offering head or getting on our knees to give it to you, it’s safe to say it’s not on offer and you should treat it that way.

But the good news is, if you’ve gotten far enough to even consider doing this, you’re already in a good spot. We’re hooking up. We’re down. Things are going to happen. There’s no reason for you to push and risk ruining a perfectly good night.

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