The Hardest Part of Being Sober from Alcohol

The Most Painful Challenge in My Sobriety

There is no easy escape. There is no instant relief.

There is no easy or simple way out.

When you are sober from alcohol and struggling with emotional pain, you have to choose the difficult and healthier path to dealing with those feelings. Every single time.

For me, this is the hardest part of being sober.

I quit drinking on April 12th of 2014. And since then, for the past 9 years, I have dealt with some horrific emotions and aggravated states of mind on a daily basis (to be completely honest).

Instead of grabbing a beer or an alcoholic beverage to instantly numb that emotional pain, I’ve always chosen to stay sober and cope with my sadness via healthier options like meditation, writing, or working out. Every single time, without exception.

For anyone who currently drinks or who used to drink regularly, coping with your weekly and monthly emotions can be super difficult without alcohol. Because at some point or other, even if you are not an alcoholic, all drinkers use alcohol to manage their emotions.

Using alcohol to cope with emotions doesn’t necessarily mean that you are try to drink away your depression. There are plenty of other scenarios where people often drink to change how they feel.

You might be on a date with a very attractive person and maybe you want to use alcohol to get into a more chatty and confident mood. Or perhaps you just want to relax with a glass of wine while watching Netflix after a long day at the office place.

These are all seemingly innocent but very common ways that people use drinking to manage their feelings. And once you start doing it, it becomes very hard to stop.

How many times have you heard someone say something like: “I could really use a drink right now?” I’ve lost count.

People, especially at the workplace, casually use alcohol as stress-relief because it’s an instant way to shut off the agitation of daily life. Even though this can get unhealthy, it is super common. People see it as a conversation starter a way to connect with others.

Have you ever thought about how weird the phrase “happy hour” is? Happy hour is a period of time when people show up to bars, restaurants, and clubs for the purpose of using discounted alcoholic drinks to feel good. To feel happier.

“Happy Hour” is a marketing tactic that owners of bars, clubs, and restaurants use to get people to pay for drinks. And it plays a huge role in brainwashing people to use alcohol to cope with their emotions.

But here’s the problem with using alcohol to feel better: Alcohol does not actually heal your sadness, stress, agitation, and emotional pain.

Drinking only numbs your emotions. It’s a temporary, band-aid solution.

In the end, trying to drown out sadness with alcohol only magnifies how sad you feel. Because once you sober up and realize that your sadness isn’t going anywhere, you’ll feel worse about it than you did to begin with.

Using healthy habits — like journaling, meditation, exercise, writing, or spending time with loved ones — to feel good is always the best way to handle emotional pain. Understanding this and knowing this has kept me sober for 9 years.

But after almost a decade of sobriety, I have to be honest. It can be agonizingly painful to have no instant escape, relief, or option for shutting off my feelings.

I mean, it really sucks sometimes. I can’t lie to you about that.

Because when you are sober and you feel bad, you just have to say in that feeling until it either subsides or until you manage to overcome it. And when you feel insecure, inadequate, broken, unsatisfied, or hurt for some reason or other — or for no reason at all — allowing those feelings to exist in your brain can be excruciating.

Dealing with your emotions the hard way and choosing to abstain from drinking — in a world where we are surrounded by alcohol and drinkers all the time — is the hardest obstacle you’ll have to face in your sobriety.

But with all of that being said, I’ll tell you this:

Choosing the Painful Sober Path to Happiness is Worth the Challenge.

Sobriety will make you a better version of yourself.

As you choose the healthier routes to happiness every month, every week, and every day, you will achieve things that otherwise would not have been possible!

Staying sober, feeling the horrible emotion, and choosing to deal with it through healthy alternatives will make you a stronger, happier, more resilient, more creative, wholesome, and more successful version of yourself.

If you want to become the best version of you, getting sober can put you on the fast-track to getting there. If you’re like me, having no instant shut-off for your emotions could motivate you to pour yourself into following your dreams.

There have been tons of moments over the past 9 and ½ years where I have felt horrible. And back in the day, I would have hit the bars with the homies and cracked open a beer to feel better. But instead of cracking open a beer, I did screenwriting, wrote blog posts, wrote songs, meditated, or worked out to feel better.

I’ve made a ton of progress towards living out my dreams! And that would never have been possible without sobriety. For that, I am super grateful. 🙏

So I’ll conclude by saying this.

Sobriety will never be easy. But it is 1000% worth it.

My name is Mbugua “Bo” Muchoki. I am a Kenyan-American screenwriter, music artist, aspiring author, and creative. Follow me for more articles about sobriety, health, screenwriting, creativity, self-improvement, music, movies, shows, & life.