The Hard Truth About Meeting Women

You give up because of these minefields.

It is super easy to meet women these days, am I right?

If so, your contact list would be full of women’s numbers by now.

Nowadays, it is easy to watch women online. The first form of secondary contact people make is to share their social media accounts. They want you to have their username or know their paywall profile details.

Many of my male friends have given up and resigned themselves to a life of watching women online. Most of my friends who got married were college sweethearts. Somehow, the innovation that promised to make lives easier did the opposite.

“Who needs a woman anyway?” is the new catchphrase of my single male friends. They feel convinced trying is the worst. But every time you think this way or watch porn, your brain changes. Worldwide, there is also a 25% increase in anxiety, making it harder to start conversations.

When was the last time you tried meeting women in public? The experience is a lot different from messaging women on dating apps.

It is often blurry between the lines.

We have to talk about signals.

I’ve always mentioned the idea of reading her body language. But that approach can be a minefield. You can never be sure if a woman is vibing with you or being polite. You saw her smile. She looked you in the eyes, and you both talked without awkwardness for hours. You try to make plans to see each other again.

Then, she tells you she has a boyfriend. Or you learn she is not interested in seeing anyone right now. If you ask a woman out, you need to prepare for rejection.

Prepare to hear “no”; it helps you recover from the word faster.

We live in an ultra-polite world. Women don’t know how men will react, so some women flirt to protect themselves. I know, it sucks. But these interactions are difficult for her as well. If she says no, respect it and try to move the conversation past it.

Meeting people is hard for everyone these days.

It’s never a good idea to set high hopes because of assumptions.

If I flirt with someone, I want to see them again, to make plans happen. I would ask about their schedule. Given the context, I thought the person saying they have no Saturday plans meant we could meet up again. But sometimes, that assumption is wrong.

They did not have any activity set for the weekend. But it did not mean the person wanted to spend their off-duty day with me. This realization hurt much. You can’t expect someone to share their time with you because they don’t have plans.

You can still ask and feel bummed they said no. But don’t gaslight your crush for it. If you want a person to be honest with you about their schedule, you can’t make demands on their time.

Again, this situation aims to prepare you for a no. It is a reminder that body language can be mutual, but someone is not ready to explore these feelings.

It feels pretentious

It can also feel like you’re playing games.

It can feel you’re not being yourself. But you’re being your emotionally mature self.

Last week, a friend said being himself doesn’t work when socializing with women. He is the broody type. But what draws women to him is his smile. So, he feels the need to smile more when at social events.

Of course, you should be yourself around women. But the best public version of yourself.

You might be comfortable with yourself; and your surroundings, so you act that way. But some behaviors don’t give a good first impression. It can feel as if you’re pretending. If you find someone you like very much, you can attempt to change your messier (jerk-ish) behaviors.

It could even help you feel more comfortable and deserving of love and a relationship. If you notice a woman doing the same, she is also searching for a match in the dating pool.

You will be unsure about plenty — be sure about your confidence

I know men feel all the pressure because society expects them to ask the questions. But if it feels one-sided, you can walk away — you don’t have to be the one always putting yourself out there.

No one owes you their time. And rejection happens a lot in the dating territory. But remain confident, it is the only way you will keep feeling like you want to try again.

You will meet an exceptional woman when you least expect it. Be patient.

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