PERSONAL FINANCE

The Grinding Terror of Debt

Living paycheck to paycheck is stressful. Some would call it soul-killing. The question is, why do we do it at all?

Americans have been instructed since before birth to consume. And because we are smart, hardworking, and easily trained, we rank at the top of our global class for consumption.

We do this at the expense of our own physical and emotional safety — but why?

How did we end up here?

I believe we were brought up to spend, spend, spend. This is what we think of when we think of the good life.

According to Dave Ramsey, it doesn’t have to be this way. Dave Ramsey, a personal finance guru, preaches that your income is the largest source of wealth-building available.

And I agree with Dave.

Dave will tell you that following his simple — but not easy — plan will move you from the “paycheck to paycheck” column to the column marked “peace”. He will tell you that most millionaires are self-made and not “born into it”.

Recently, I read a post by a famous blogger that excoriated Dave Ramsey’s plan. The blogger was floored by the seeming stupidity of the strict budget. In the early stages of Dave’s plan, you tighten the budget and focus with “gazelle intensity” on paying off every. single. debt.

Your goal is simple and sublime — eradicate every penny of debt.

According to Dave, this is possible for most people somewhere between 18–24 months. Once that debt is gone you are free.

Free to work where you want instead of working for a paycheck that you need.

Free to live without fear of homelessness.

Free to save your income and invest.

Free to give money to charity.

Yeah…you get the idea. You are free.

This blogger ridiculed the super-tight budget that excludes $5 lattes because, he reasoned, $5 doesn’t amount to enough to matter. He concluded that the sacrifice isn’t worth it.

The Devil You Know

I wish I had been born into a family that taught me how to handle money well. My father made a good living and my mom stayed home with us. We were never hungry and our home was nice. Sadly, my parents never seemed financially secure. They blamed each other for spending and although I never knew the details of the family budget, money was a stressor.

The avocado green carpets bore witness to many resentful money fights.

I find myself well into middle age and, as the saying goes, without a pot to piss in.

Although I started my adulthood in poverty I was able to turn things around. I sacrificed. I skimped and saved. I worked hard. I bought a house. I had a 401k and stock options. I made a good living, making more than many people will see in a lifetime, much less a year.

But I failed to eradicate my debts.

I had debts with low-interest rates so I felt clever. I was in good shape. Bank tellers sometimes raised an eyebrow at my balance, surprised at the high dollar amount. It felt good. Let me tell you, it felt good.

Until the bottom fell out.

I had to sell my home at a loss. I was lucky to get anything at all for it. I had refinanced it so many times it’s a wonder I had any equity left. For the record, I never wanted to sell my house and there is still a shard of pain in my chest because I had to.

With the house gone, most of my belongings had to go.

I got out with my pets and a tattered suite of furnishings.

The pandemic meant taking low-wage jobs that don’t offer benefits.

The debt that I did have, that tiny bit of low-interest rate debt? That I took with me. That has continued to grow. It has ballooned.

This is not what I had planned for my late-middle years.

The idea that giving up $5 lattes is too big a sacrifice made me laugh. I wish that my sacrifices had ever been that trifling. My purchases were but my sacrifices? Oh, they have been difficult and painful. Giving up a latte is not a sacrifice. Losing a home? That’s gonna sting.

Sacrifice Consumption and Empty Consumerism, Not Your Safety or Your Soul.

I wish right now that I had every dollar I’ve ever spent on lattes. Add to that list the dollars I’ve spent on fast food, high-end food, clothing, shoes, purses, make-up, dog toys, and plants for my garden, and well, the list is endless because I spent a lot of money.

Most of my spending was in small bits. A little here, a little there, and nothing in the bank.

When you step back a little and look at what you are buying can you honestly say that you can’t live without it?

I could have lived without all that crap and used the money to pay off all of that low-interest debt. Do you know why? Because four $5 lattes add up to $20 and five $20’s gets you to $100 quickly.

“Take care of the pennies and the pounds will take care of themselves.” ~William Lowndes, British Secretary of the Treasury, 1696–1724

Look, I understand why people say that you have to live every single day. You can’t wait for some perfect future life to have fun. You have to live now because tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone. This is true and wise!

Here’s the big question — why do we equate joyful living with spending?

I believe that we have lived in the specter of a dream of wealth for so long that we have lost our minds. I mean it! Money is important and we should treat it respectfully but not worshipfully.

Money is a tool just like a knife is a tool. Once you know how to use it wisely it will benefit you greatly. Underestimate these tools and you will be cut or worse.

Money matters, especially if you enjoy food, shelter, and regular bathing. If you don’t know how to respect and handle it wisely, you might find yourself living on a knife’s edge.

Joyful living includes many wonderful free activities for every person, every family, every group of friends, and stage of life. You don’t have to believe me but certainly, you will discover them if you find yourself broke and vulnerable to all the world without a penny.

It turns out they have these free things called libraries…who knew?

So…I respectfully disagree with that famous blogger and believe that he would benefit from a deeper understanding of Dave Ramsey’s tough-love program.

Me? I’m grateful that I am no longer under the spell of consumerism. It has broken. I am free from that, at least, while I work off this terrible debt.

And I will pay it off. And I will move forward. And I will succeed.

Unless I become ill or injured or some other twist of fate derails me. And it could.

Until I am out of danger I gladly watch every penny. When I am solvent again and I have money in the bank, a latte sounds like a treat. Hell, I might even enjoy a latte and glass of wine at the same damn time.

Not a minute before.

And it’s not a sacrifice because I need to know that I am safe.

As for the remaining 64% of Americans living paycheck to paycheck I can only surmise that they also believe $5 doesn’t matter. They’ve been taught to believe they are powerless and that their “little bit of money doesn’t add up to much.”

Then again, they’ve been told this about their votes, too.

Why not check out one of my favorite authors here on Medium? Penny Grubb, Hayden Moore, and Ellie Jacobson.

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