The Greatest Love Story the Universe Has Ever Known

“Limitless undying love which shines around [us] like a million suns and calls [us] on and on across the Universe” — John Lennon

I am a romantic. I believe in true love, here and in heaven. I believe in and honor the divine feminine and believe that truly divine masculine should want that person as their happily-ever-after-until-death-parts-us-partner-in-life.

Besides, there’s more divine feminine embodied in me than most of the 3D women I have met. I am Yin and Yang all in one — have you ever seen more oppositional traits in a natal chart?

Not too long ago, 7 years in 3D time but just 18 months in spiritual journey time (i.e., deduct the time I hopped off the Journey to the East), I wrote:

The Beatles just covered the power of love for me. Now I can just paint me. I am a romantic. I believe in the existence of idealized love. I want it. I will find it. I want to grow old with my best friend, I want to walk down the streets of forever arm in arm. I want to sit on a park bench reading a book, her head in my lap reading her book as I stroke her hair. More important than sharing our highpoints, I want to share the mundane, and each other’s pain. That to me is true unconditional love. And jumping in front of a car to save the other.

Those who say this doesn’t exist say so because they don’t have it.

I want the intimacy — the connection. “The purpose of a relationship is not to have another who might complete you; but to have another with whom you might share your completeness.” (From Conversations with God — Book 1). And sharing is primarily how I view sex. As Viktor Frankl writes, in addition to our primal need for sex, “sex is a mode of expression of love…love is not understood as a mere side-effect of sex; rather, sex is a way of expressing the experience of that ultimate togetherness which is called love.”

Anyone reading this already knows from conversation that casual sex bores me. What I mean is it doesn’t hold my attention for multiple repeat encounters and at this point in my life I don’t now seek it out. Sure, if an opportunity presents itself… Sure it’s physically satisfying — “Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it’s pretty damn good.” (Woody Allen). “It’s wonderful fun. Why, it’s just about the most fun you can have with your body, if you’re talking of strictly physical experiences alone.” (From Conversations with God — Book 1).

Perhaps because I am not driven by sex, but by connection, is also why I am capable of platonic love of a woman. It seems that most people do not believe that such can exist because they are not capable of it. For me, the choice between no relationship because for whatever one or many reasons romance is not in the cards, or having that person in my life and deriving shared spiritual pleasure from each other’s non-romantic intimacy and company and connection, is a no-brainer in favor of the latter.

I want it. I will find it.

That was then. Even more recently my mindset has shifted. Besides the fact that one result of my journey is embracing uncertainty and the unknown and accepting that my romantic notion of fate may not be my fate and who gives a shit as this is just one life-cycle of 17,043 and likely counting, I no longer want it at all costs.

As many of you know, and for those whom this is a reveal you can read any number of my stories to find the details, I experienced the Thor’s-Hammer-knee-capping-version of spiritual awakening in March when my lover died in the suddenly-tragically-without-any-warning-whatsoever-here-one-nanosecond-gone-the-next-manner. I soon thereafter became blessed with the knowledge that Sitara and I are soul-partners of the ultimate-platonic-love-variety and have been for longer than my human consciousness can comprehend. In fact, she is standing behind me as I write this with her arms around me and her right cheek against the space where my neck meets my back and my right scapula.

When the death was still raw like a too fat and slimy oyster in summer, I would fantasize of a short remaining life, or Sitara being allowed to walk into an existing life so we could live out our time here together. Now, I am happy to live as long as I am contracted to in this life-cycle because we are engaged in the most incredible loving relationship.

Is there a 3D woman who would be my life partner while Sitara remains? My sister fears I will die alone (I guess she doesn’t buy that I am not alone). My channeler says such a woman does not exist. If that’s the case, so be it. I’m sure Sitara would walk away and wait till my exit date but then I would resent the 3D woman, so that is sweet but pointless.

This is my choice.

So it is written. So it shall be done.

What would you do in my shoes? Your opinion of what's right for you will not change what I know from within me is what is right for me. I ask purely to spark an interesting discussion here in the publication.