The Gratitude Shift: Embracing Sober Living and Appreciating All We Have
We often had to dig deep to find it during our drinking days.
I’m ashamed now of the self-serving whining and complaining I did for many years. Oh, poor me.
As a single parent, I was the primary support for my boys and myself. I was angry.
My ex left me with a mountain of debt and rarely paid his child support.
The boys and I were healthy. I was able to provide a lovely home for them, and they seldom went without.
Still, I resented that I had to return to work and relinquish the upper-middle-class life I had led.
Poor baby.
I seldom said a word of gratitude to the God I believed in for all I had.
I knew I had more than many others, yet I was distraught. My friends were doing well, had strong marriages, and went on exciting vacations, and here I was, toiling away.
I’m mortified I had that attitude. Those days were many years ago, yet the primary mindset I recall was that I was super pi#@ed-off.
I know this furious emotion wasn’t with me all the time.
I was and always have been a naturally happy and optimistic woman. However, when my hubby destroyed our marriage and our comfortable lifestyle, I was understandably upset.
I was distressed that I missed all the signs that the ending of our good life was on the horizon.
The signs were there. I “chose” to ignore them.
In a way, I brought on the culmination of my good life because I disregarded the clues.
Today — the good
I’ve been sober for over five years. I’m healthy and strong.
I’m playing pickleball with a fabulous, supportive group of women several days a week — something I’d wanted to do.
I can walk my neighborhood or hike the mountains near my home daily with my sweet Golden Retriever, Merlin.
I’m writing on Medium, Illumination, and other publications and enjoying it thoroughly.
I don’t want one material item. I have enough.
I am grateful for all of this.
And the not-so-good
My husband’s knees are failing him, and he refuses to have replacement surgery. He will not budge from that decision.
Therefore, he spends his days in his Lazyboy playing games on his computer and watching TV.
He has lost his desire to socialize. On the rare occasions we go out, it’s usually with his daughter and family. He’s comfortable with that.
Still, I’m grateful.
I’m blessed to have a husband who loves me and wants the best for me, even if it means I spend more time with friends and less with him.
Hubby is having cognitive issues; I’m dealing with them. Of course, dementia is progressive.
Still, I am grateful.
He is happy and content now. We will deal with the future when it arrives.
There is so much suffering in the world. The year-old unfathomable war in Ukraine is slaughtering innocent people. The Gaza battles are killing hundreds, thousands.
Some diseases are taking lives worldwide.
Hurricanes, tornadoes, blizzards, and flooding are affecting our nation.
I have not had to suffer through any of that.
How did I get so lucky?
Yes, I’ve had my trials and challenges; who hasn’t?
I was diagnosed with breast cancer a few months ago.
I’m blessed to have had a surgeon and oncologist who acted immediately. The tumor was removed, and today I’m cancer-free.
My precious son, Anthony, died at age 36 in 2015. I will never recover from his passing. I miss him every day.
Yet, I am thankful for every moment I’ve had with him.
He is on an incredible new journey and at peace.
My son, Nick, is a remarkable, kind man. I’m so blessed to have him.
Attaining sobriety has helped me understand how blessed I’ve been my entire life. The drink eclipsed that a lot of the time.
When in an alcohol haze, many positive feelings are hidden. Or do we overlook them?
I know I have experienced some level of gratitude during my drinking years. However, sobriety has placed it right in front of me daily.
It wasn’t easy quitting the drink. This is one reason I am grateful. It was tough — I failed twice before succeeding.
Gratitude is present in my life today, and I can feel my heart overflowing.
You
I know you, too, feel immense gratitude for the life you have created in your sobriety.
If you, too, quit drinking, being sober is one of the most significant challenges you have overcome. Alcohol is addictive, and you made it. You’re free.
Let’s continue to be grateful for every day in this beautiful life we’ve fashioned.