avatarLon Shapiro

Summary

A wannabe journalist interviews revelers at a tavern near the Colosseum about the upcoming Grammar Games, encountering indifference and a humorous, inebriated character named Dave.

Abstract

The scene unfolds outside the Colosseum, where preparations are underway for the Grammar Games. A journalist, accompanied by his dog crew, seeks public opinion on the event. Inside a local tavern, he finds a group of eccentric individuals more interested in happy hour than the Games. Among them, a particularly joyful drunk named Dave Grigger humorously expresses his honor at being part of the event before being thrown out of the tavern. Dave continues his poetic, whimsical musings in the street, dreaming of reciting poetry for the Emperor, until he passes out and is taken away by a construction truck.

Opinions

  • The workers preparing the Colosseum are focused on their tasks and do not express an opinion on the Games.
  • The tavern patrons are cynical and uninterested in the Grammar Games, preferring to enjoy their drinks and revelry.
  • Dave Grigger, despite his drunken state, facetiously claims it's an honor to be included in the distinguished category of those associated with the Grammar Games.
  • The bartender's action of throwing Dave out suggests a lack of patience for such antics, indicating a no-nonsense attitude towards disruptive behavior.
  • Dave's poetic ramblings convey a sense of escapism and a playful take on the contrast between the mundane (sweaty dust) and the sublime (dreams of LUST and reciting poetry for the Emperor).

Meanwhile, outside the Colosseum, part 1

THE GRAMMAR GAMES PREQUEL

[A tavern, outside the Colosseum, Day 1]

(with apologies to Dave Grigger)

Somewhere in the unwashed masses milling around the Colosseum, workers are preparing the arena for the upcoming Grammar Games. A wannabe journalist accompanied by his film “crew” — a very smart Belgian Shepherd with an iPhone — conducts “man on the street” interviews, looking for reactions to what will take place behind the stadium walls later that day.

The reporter left the morning sun and entered a tavern located at the base of the Colosseum’s massive walls. Inside, a group of cynics, humorists, absurdist, anarchists, and other assorted deviants, lifted their metal steins and drank toasts to internet porn and koala bears. He asked the revelers their opinion on the upcoming Grammar Games, but no one cared as it was happy hour at some place in the world. As he turned to leave, a particularly happy drunk who called himself Dave, shouted out

what an honor it is to be included in this distinguished category!

and fell off his bar stool.

The bartender lifted him by the scruff of his toga and proceeded to throw him out of the establishment. Dave, who found the crowd just a bit much for his sensitive “nature” headed to the nearest shade.

As he shuffled through the dust, he mumbled to no one in particular…

sweaty dust…rust??? ahhh…last nites dream LUST!

Then he rose up and shouted to the world…

droplets of joy drip from my chin

tongue gone asunder, i shall not tell where it’s been

lips to lips; though not face to face

her body quivers under sweet embrace

liquid pleasure an oasis in the sand

He heard the crowd cheer in the still empty stands and imagined himself reciting poetry at the feet of the Emperor…

“reality” comes creeping back in…ahhhh but perchance sleep to dream yet once again…

With that, he fell unconscious in the street and was scooped up by a city construction truck headed to a construction site far off in the deadlands somewhere between the Medium empire and sister city Quorapolis.

A good place to dry out.

To be continued…

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Everything you never wanted to know about…

The Grammar Games, including rules and eligibility, all chapters, man on the street interviews, yelp reviews, side tales, praise from the book jacket, newspaper reports and, of course, our Kickstarter funding program.

As always, “Will write for donuts.”

Fiction
Humor
Outside The Colosseum
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