avatarLon Shapiro

Summary

A visitor recounts a disappointing experience at a theatrical event called "The Grammar Games" at the Colosseum, which started with promise but ended in chaos and a bad smell.

Abstract

The article describes a visitor's account of attending "The Grammar Games" at the Colosseum, an event that began with an air of excitement and luxury, offering VIP treatment and fine dining. However, the event took a turn for the worse with an unexpected supernatural occurrence, including a frightening "vagina of doom" and a foul odor that permeated the stadium. The visitor, named Marion, was advised to close their eyes during the most terrifying part and eventually fled to the vomitorium to escape the horrifying experience. The piece concludes by inviting readers to participate in the collaborative story of "The Grammar Games," regardless of their status on Medium, and provides a link to more information about the event, including rules, chapters, and a Kickstarter funding program.

Opinions

  • The visitor initially enjoyed the VIP treatment and the discovery of delicious bruchetta and wine.
  • The divine intervention and the subsequent chaos were described as "way cool" initially.
  • The event was marred by the appearance of a "giant vagina of doom" and an overpowering, unpleasant smell worse than a yeast infection.
  • The visitor was deeply disappointed by the event's turn, comparing it to an olive crawling off a plate, and felt the need to escape.
  • The visitor explicitly advises against attending the event in the future, stating, "I’m never coming back, and neither should you."

The Grammar Games crowd reaction

A BAD NIGHT AT THE COLOSSEUM

(with apologies to Lisa Robbie)

[Somewhere in Hell, Day 6]

Review transcript:

1 Star: AVOID — THAT PLACE REALLY SMELLS.

When the stadium walls cracked, my friends and I snuck inside the Colosseum to take in the excitement of the show and try to find some snacks.

The VIPs were being fed grapes and olives by their interns. We found a delicious bruchetta… mmmm… and a perfect Pino Griggio to go with it.

Just as we were settling in to our place near the sideline seats, there was lightning and the voice of one of the Gods, I can’t remember who. She said “Oh no you di’int!” and then everyone started yelling and booing and throwing things at these bad guys.

Then there was this fantastic light show, with a shield that looked like it was going supernova or something. This was all way cool. But then it all went downhill.

This giant vagina of doom opens in the ground. Somebody grabs me and says “shut your eyes, Marion, don’t look at it, no matter what happens!” And I got scared. There were all these horrible screams and this foul smell that was worse than a yeast infection.

I’m sorry. The whole thing was ruined for me. You can’t raise people’s expectations like that and then ruin it. It’s like having antipasto and one of the black olives starts crawling off your plate.

I just had to run for the vomitorium and get out of there before something else bad happened.

I’m never coming back, and neither should you.

The Grammar Games is a collaborative story about the battle over the soul of Medium. Read the story so you can get a general idea of what’s happening and then join the fun.

If you have a huge following, you belong on the hallowed field of battle and write a 200 word post about what you are doing.

If you’re new to Medium or just a lurker, come out of your shell.

You can just add a sentence or a quote. Whatever you feel like.

We’ll figure out a way to work it into the flow of the story. It will all be in good fun. Just remember, no one is safe.

Everything you never wanted to know about…

The Grammar Games, including rules and eligibility, all chapters, man on the street interviews, yelp reviews, side tales, praise from the book jacket, newspaper reports and, of course, our Kickstarter funding program.

As always, “Will write for donuts.”

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