THE GOOD GIRL???
WHO SHOULD I BE TODAY?
Which mask shall I wear? Its all a mask. It’s all deception and lies. For the beautiful good girl goes home and cries. Scraping masks of painted canvases that once she brushed onto her face. She takes the flask from the bottom drawer and says “Who Cares?” I am after all just a fake. A fraud is the best way to sell shit. Someone saw something pure in me. I ran with my cigarette lit. A curse had been put on me. I can’t go back to the way I used to be. Alone and shaking. Cigarette in hand. Yellow stained fingers thanks to the Marlboro Man. I am reverting back to an infant. The hand that robs the cradle. Kira stop thinking like that. No one said you were incapable. Chain smoking one after the other. Flask in one hand. A cigarette in the other. I can resist the lure.
I wash my mask off. Scrubbing like a fanatic. I never knew not wreaking havoc could cleanse me of my drug habit. I thought about this newfound peace. Choking on my tears when it dawned on me. Jesus it was you. I am merely a vessel. I am no longer an empty shell. Locked inside the gates of hell.
My curse is my blessing. I am now relaxing. No more stressing. I feel my soul crash into my body. The beauty of this unity fills me with a love that almost drowns me. I believe in myself for the first time in many a year. I now know I need not fear.
A new mask molded with a smile. Not with tears. I feel so renewed. Rejuvenated. I wear a blanket of freedom. My once crooked smile becomes my victorious wisdom. Beautiful vision. Look inside of yourself. It all lies within.
Addict — Access Denied.
- “THANK YOU JESUS,” “GLORY TO GOD IN TH HIGHEST AND PEACE TO HIS PEOPLE ON EARTH.”
Kira Dawn copyright 2020.