The Golden Rules Of Love

Five Deep Messages From Jay Shetty’s Eight Rules of Love

Today’s post is inspired by one of Jay Shetty’s popular books, “8 Rules of Love”.

Let’s give our thoughts on the message the former monk is trying to convey.

Well, for me, my friends, I am going to talk about 5 out of the 8 rules and how each rule has an impact on me.

I would like to begin with one of my favorite quotes from the book, which says:

“Language has created the word ‘loneliness’

to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word ‘solitude’ to express the glory of being alone.”

. -Jay Shetty

Most people do not know if their current feeling is:

Loneliness or Solitude

I knew this because I was a victim.

There was a time I thought I needed a break from anything related to romantic relationships, and that decision made me push aside any person who showed love interest.

I held onto this decision until I started feeling lonely, but each time that feeling comes, I always try to convince myself that I am happy the way I am.

But within myself, I am not. I didn’t know what I wanted. This will lead us to rule one of his books.

“Let yourself be alone.”

From one of my previous posts on how I moved on from my first heartbroken relationship and wished my ex healing instead of pain, I did move on happily.

However, I decided to stay away from love; I became scared of love and to love, so I thought the best thing was to stay away from men and their lies.

Note that I generalized the act of my ex to all men because, sadly, it was my first relationship.

Because I was trying to protect my happiness and avoid hating a man for the rest of my life, I thought it would be best if I avoided men.

But this is where I got it all wrong; I shouldn’t have stayed away from men; rather, I should have given myself some “alone time” to heal, understand what love is, and probably start with loving myself first and bringing out the best in me.

Staying away from men instead of staying away from love/intimate relationships made me have zero knowledge of men until the day I realized and accepted the fact that I had chosen a path of loneliness instead of solitude.

As soon as I discovered this, I had to make a quick “U” turn about my choice. I started having male friends, and this gave me a clearer understanding of the impression I had about all men.

“Don’t ignore your karma.”

Nobody has successfully escaped from karma; rather, we only make situations worse by trying to, and we just need to understand and accept the fact that karma is a reminder of our past deeds and will always have an effect on our future.

However, we shouldn’t allow our past to define our present or future; rather, it is best we learn from it to correct the decisions we made and try to perfect it.

When we do this, we are on a journey to healing.

“Define love before you think it, feel it, or say it.”

Again, from my previous post on moving on, the biggest mistake I made was to jump into love quickly as soon as I found the person I could share my fanciful desires with.

I didn’t even think of what love meant; all I knew about love was exchanging pleasurable desires with your partner. Also, I needed to understand the deeper aspect of love.

I only craved for the easier and softer side of it because that was all I ever knew.

Additionally, in the book, the author emphasizes people’s personal opinions about what “I love you” means.

For me, as of that time, each time I had said it, it was just for “the moment.” Well, maybe I did love him because of the tears and pains I had to endure after the breakup.

“Your partner is your guru.”

When I read this book and got to this part of the rule, I was like, “Oh, girl! You messed up! Because this is something I did not take my time to actually practice.

When I first saw my ex and started dating, I was just eager to experience the fun part of the relationship; I didn’t really know about the important things and qualities like this rule that I should have looked out for.

George felt like he was always right and shouldn’t be corrected; he was always eager and happy to be the one always to correct me.

There were times when I felt like he needed to do something right or shouldn’t have done, but somehow, he gave me the impression that he always knew what he was doing.

“Win or lose together”

Here is another big lesson I have learned from this educational and inspiring book. Often, most couples try to live a fake life; they like to show people that they are happy and perfect, missing out on the growth phase in the losing part of a relationship.

Couples try as much as they can to make their relationship perfect but are ignorant of the fact that there are some benefits of failure or losing together in the relationship.

One of these benefits is growth. Growth does not only come from perfection.

It sometimes comes from our failures to achieve something, giving you a better idea or knowledge about that thing and helping you to do better next time.

Some couples get better or have a clearer understanding of one another after a fight or an argument; during the fight, you learn more things the other partner doesn’t like and help you both to avoid it next time so that it doesn’t repeat itself.

This also helps to increase the bond between couples, especially after a fight.

Takeaway

These five rules of love from Jay Shetty’s eight rules, have helped increase my knowledge about love itself, and it could do the same for you.

You can go ahead and learn from the remaining three and allow it to have a good impact on your life or relationship.

Also, don’t be scared to give yourself time to reflect, grow, and perfect your personality and goals.

Share your thought on the 8 rules of love by Jay Shetty in the comment section