The Game That Got Me Through COVID

I’ve always found it strange how objects can comfort us and help us through tough situations. When we’re young, it’s things like teddy bears and blankets. But as we get older, it seems to transition to experiences from external stimuli- like a favorite song, the smell of a loved one’s cooking, or even, in my case, a favorite video game. I first learned this a few years ago while playing Va-11 Hall-A on a long flight to Ireland. The familiar characters and catchy music helped keep me calm despite my flight anxiety. But I was further reminded of the therapeutic effect of games last year when I contracted COVID. This time, it was Persona 4 that would help keep me sane during a very difficult period.

My COVID infection was far more serious than I had hoped it would be. Despite being in my mid-thirties and relatively healthy, I found myself stuck on the couch with a high fever, difficulty breathing, and an incessant cough. I couldn’t even stand for long without feeling like I was going to faint, and being in bed only exacerbated the symptoms. So the couch was the only real place I could stay- and it’s where I remained for a full two weeks. That confinement is what compelled me to dust off my old PS Vita and try to keep myself occupied. Persona 4 Golden is what was already in the console, and so I started playing that. I didn’t realize it at the time, but Persona 4 would end up being the equivalent of that comforting teddy bear or favorite song. It was a familiar and welcome experience, and one that would be very much needed during a genuinely frightening time in my life. Unsurprisingly, the game never left my Vita throughout the entire duration of my time at home.

Yes, it could have been worse. Being confined to a couch in 21st-century America isn’t all that bad (at least, compared to someone battling Spanish Influenza during the last global pandemic). I had the internet and I had Uber Eats. But still, it wasn’t exactly easy being unable to move, interact with people, and having to deal with the incredibly uncomfortable symptoms of COVID. I think that’s part of why Persona helped as much as it did. Whatever impairments I had from being sick, the game was able to alleviate to some degree. I couldn’t get up and move around my own home, but thanks to this game, I could explore any number of small locations across the sleepy, fictional Japanese town of Inaba. I couldn’t spend time with loved ones, but in Persona, I was able to spend an entire year with familiar faces like Yosuke, Yukiko, and Kanji. Because of this game, I was able to “not be sick” if that makes sense.

Of course, the reality is that I was indeed ill. No video game has the power to undo that completely. However, it was definitely enough to help offset much of the experience. Especially since the game is rather lengthy- it takes about 70 hours to beat if you’re not trying to breeze through it. That’s almost two weeks of full-time work, and just the right amount of time I needed to get through the worst of the sickness. Most days I would wake up, watch a bit of news, and then go right to it. I’d play until I got stuck, look up walkthroughs (which were very important as the resulting lower anxiety helped keep my heart condition in check), and then continue playing after defeating whatever was in my way. I would even try to make the game interactive by incorporating certain foods into my day that were present in the game. Even if I couldn’t actually taste the food, it helped to keep me planted in that other world where I wasn’t actually sick. I kept this routine going for pretty much the whole two weeks until my symptoms started subsiding and I was allowed to start working again remote. Needless to say, I didn’t have much time to keep playing after that. I played less and less until my game-time inevitably tapered off completely.

Looking back, Persona is one of the things I remember most vividly from that time. My time with COVID was the sickest I can ever remember feeling, and yet the memory is dulled thanks to the hours I spent exploring the game’s world. For all of the bad experiences that came with it, I had an equal (if not greater) number of pleasant memories that helped lessen their effect. Now, nearly 9 months later, the whole thing feels like more of a wash. That’s the surprising power of games, in my opinion. They can be inspiring and transformative- and in a situation like sickness, they can be incredibly healing and empowering. I imagine that in the far future, I will be able to look back and barely even remember how bad the experience actually was. That’s all thanks to Persona 4 Golden.

I’m curious to know if anyone else has had similar experiences with a particular game. If you have ever had a time where a game helped you through something difficult, please consider telling me about it in a comment. I would love to hear about it!