The Future of the Monarchy

Are social media detectives smarter than the Royals' PR team?

As an honorary board member of the Chismosa For Good Club, I couldn’t miss talking about this situation, as it’s still unknown to everyone. We have bigger issues to worry about, but I guess a healthy dissociation chisme doesn’t hurt.

I’m here for the chisme and I know you are too.

It’s a known fact that I love history, and little by little, I’ve learned a lot through the years about the British Monarchy. It’s as ridiculous and complicated as any other. But in the grand theatre of royal affairs, where the curtain falls, the latest act presents a plot twist so intriguing, that it has the entire social media world at the edge of their phones while clutching their popcorn.

Don’t judge me! Popcorn is delicious, and I prefer the kettle corn ones.

Picture this: Kate, the Duchess of Everywhere and Nowhere, was just miraculously spotted taking a fun stroll over the weekend. You read that right; this was this "weekend,” or so they say. Ah, but this was not just any walk in the park. This was, as the brilliant PR wizard Molly McPherson noted, a happy, relaxed, and healthy (HRH), which is a strategic way to write about when you are dealing with a PR crisis, and this is how it is being portrayed. Everything in PR has its own math code and combination skills. You need to be a chess master of words.

Why is this important?

Because, dear happy chismoso(a), this simple act of pedestrianism just adds to this whole royal missing case narrative.

Some birds told me that the late Queen was punching holes in her grave. And yet, here we are, witnessing a missing case moment that’s as mysterious as it is dramatic.

This development begs the question: what is really happening inside the royal family, and why does Kate’s public resuscitation in this video signify a pivotal turn?

Enter the social media sherlocks, the unsung heroes of this chisme. They have managed to cast a shadow of doubt over the authenticity of Kate’s outing. In this video, you can see William and Kate, the epitome of the “ideal” royal marriage, gallivanting healthy in public. Yet, sharp-eyed Britons—a word that I just learned—have called lies, noting the presence of little huts adorned with what appear to be Christmas lights. These festive structures, they claim, are seasonal decorations, and they are taken down around January.

Let’s all recall today's date: Monday, March 18, 2024.

Just for reference.

It’s important.

Stay with me!

As you can imagine by now, the plot has thickened, and this outdated monarchy has fallen into a deeper conspiracy. Adding mistake after mistake. Photoshop after Photoshop. Weird statement after weird statement. Lie after lie. And how the fork did TMZ, an ocean away, scoop this resuscitation video before the vicious UK media?

It’s looking more like a plant than reality.

Another suggestion for seeing “Kate” in this video is that it could be a Kate doppelgänger created to deceive the masses, but this theory had its own du jour while disappearing quicker than the contents inside this glass of wine that I’m drinking as I’m writing this post.

1+1 is not looking equal to 2

As we stand at this narrative crossroads, we must ask ourselves:

🥇What is the royal family hiding?

🥈Is Kate’s apparent well-being a carefully curated illusion?

🥉 Who’s dead?

4️⃣ Can they hire me for their PR?

5️⃣ Is this missing royal case a smokescreen to hide a looming or bigger scandal?

6️⃣ Where are the divorce papers?

This is undoubtedly a PR disaster, and as we impatiently await the next twist in this regal telenovela, one can’t help but wonder: what’s real, and what’s simply royal theatre? They are very good at that, but we are living in a different era, so things are not going their way. As you are trying to sleep tonight or waking up on the other side of the world like my friend Creòman ⌐▨_▨, not all is as it seems.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, involves releasing your inner chismoso/a for the greater good of our souls. Yes, you read that right.

Why, you ask? Just because.

Share this post with every Juan, Carlos, John, Meghan, and Harry you know. 😂😂😂

Drop your thoughts,

theories, and

conspiracies in the

comments. ➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️