The Fundamental Reason I’m Not Buying Your Self-Published Book
It’s not you it’s me — although it might be you
There was a lull in the conversation. Silence.
Out of the blue, my wife spoke.
“Malky had an article go viral this month.”
Everyone looked at me and smiled.
“Congratulations.” “Well done.” “Super.”
I put on my humble face and waved away their felicitations. Slightly embarrassed. There was a further pause. Donald filled the gap. “What did you all think of the Scotland game?”
We sat in the sunshine, an afternoon get-together. Emptying the punch bowl, chatting. Eating. Having a good Scottish blether.
Short of something else to say, my wife mentioned my viral article.
Not one of the dozen people gathered thought to ask what my article was about. No one was interested enough to want to read it. Jings, even my wife hadn’t read it. Her interest stopped after it paid for the new shower in the bathroom.
My viral article might have been the most dizzying and absorbing piece of writing they would ever read in their sorry little mundane existences — but they’ll never find out. They weren’t interested enough to ask.
The wisdom in that short but information-packed article could have changed their lives. The humour in it might have had them throwing back their head and laughing like a demented hyena every time they brought it to mind: in the shower, on a bus, playing with kitchen knives.
They missed out. Screwed up their opportunity. Instead of being blown away, they carried on, oblivious to all the possibilities my article could have opened up for them.
And I’m absolutely fine with that, here’s why.
Reading is a daily activity for most of us. From emails to news feeds, menus and magazines, we haven’t stopped since we learned our ABCs.
Books are an intentional habit. Despite being a valuable form of reading, many adults never pick up a book from one year to the next. Survey data from the Pew Research Center reports that roughly a quarter of Americans never read books.
People prefer to scroll through their social media feeds. It starts with them looking at photos of their friend’s breakfast at the airport. That’s them announcing they are going on holiday — Hey! look at me, I’m drinking beer at six in the morning.
Then they scroll cat videos and people falling off their bikes and dogs with Hitler haircuts and the brainwashed shouting about rigged elections and flat-earthers with their flawed conspiracy theories and dancing frogs — why would they want to read your book?
About 64% only read one book a year. Their Christmas present? Colleen Hoover or Lee Child.
They read the back page and sit it on their bedside table. In the spring, they read the first chapter. Then a page or two a night. They spurt through a few chapters on holiday and finish it in time for their next Christmas present.
The popularity of reading books has declined and we can put much of the blame for that on our social media usage. People have short attention spans.
And that brings me to your book.
Sorry to break it to you, but most people just aren’t that interested. There’s no place in their lives for it — unless you make it their Christmas present.
You could have spilled your heart onto your pages. You could have written the most rip-roaring adventure since The Count of Monte Cristo. Despite that, no one wants to read it. You are playing to empty heads.
You keep firing your marketing arrows. Eventually, you hit the board. I see your book and I’m interested enough to read the blurb.
I’m an avid reader. Me. I read 50 books a year. Surely I’ll be able to fit in the time and energy to read your book. But you only hit the white of the target, a no-sale. It’s not you, it’s me.
The problem is, I have no interest in —
erotica vampires dull memoirs self-help children’s books pretentious poems period dramas how life has been unfair pirates English seaside travelogues your political opinion basketball what you did at school The Royal Family pottery romance novels Nigel Farage how to do whatever programming historical fiction dystopian nightmares philosophy young adult fiction your boring job graphic novels short stories your rant about anything history fantasy novels spirituality the paranormal Jeffrey Archer families & relationships art guides horror chemistry biblical quotes leadership how you met your cat or gardening
And that’s a short list compared to the average dude.
You can’t attract everyone. We all have different motivations, needs, interests, and attention spans. Interests change, too. Some might give your book a vacant stare, but 10 years from now, it could be their reason for living.
It’s not that people don’t realise how phenomenal your book is, it’s simply that what you have written doesn’t sizzle along their optic nerves and set their brains on fire. There’s not a flicker.
The tales that glued your fingers to your keyboard are often what make others weary. It’s better to be ignored than to beg for praise and be pitied. Forget about those dry wells and drop your bucket elsewhere.
Find your audience. If you were compelled to write a book, there will be someone out there who is compelled to read it.
I was as deluded as the next author. When I first published my books, I thought everyone would be interested. I couldn’t fathom why everyone wouldn’t want to read my hilarious tales. When that didn’t happen, I went in search of people who were like-minded.
I started a space on Quora called Cop Stories. I posted some of my tales and that attracted a whole bunch of enthusiastic people (65k followers and counting). It has one of the highest engagements of any space on Quora.
You could do exactly the same. Find a place to showcase your writing, build a following and people will come — these people are your tribe.
Every book sold is a decision.
I have to weigh up the pros and cons of buying your book. It needs to be in my sphere of interest. I need to confirm your book is worth my time and money.
Part of that decision will be a comparison.
What else is out there like this? Would I enjoy this or a Jack Ryan novel more? I’ve already read Atomic Habits, I don’t need to read your version of it. Is your sci-fi novel as funny and inventive as The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy?
I’ll read your blurb. I’ll read about you. I might even download a sample on Kindle and read that. I’ll read your reviews and I’ll compare those to other books. I’ll even make an assessment of the authenticity of those reviews.
If you got me to this stage, it’s all about you. It’s up to you to ensure your writing is gripping. Engage me with your words, your story, and your craft.
Only then will I pay the price of admission.