avatarJose Alexander Davila

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The Fragility

Umberto (Unsplash)

It’s all so fragile, is it not? What do you hold most dear? How quickly can that all be gone in an instant? Scary. Don’t dwell. Just recognize. It’s important to practice gratitude. We all know that. How easy it is to forget, though, that’s all. I forget a lot. I tell myself I ought to burn something into concrete memory and quickly forget it soon after. I play a weird mental game with myself where I see how long I can hold onto a memory of something in particular. I see a blue car pass me by on the street. How long can I keep the image of the blue car in my mind’s focus until I’m left distracted? I’ve said it before. Yeah, there’s way too much in this world to pay attention to.

Where do you suppose you go with all this? If you take inventory of everything you have emotionally and physically, where does that leave you? What are you to do now? I have a lot of trouble finding my footing. I’ve got goals. I remember those dearly, but there’s still so much time in the way sometimes. You’ve got to fill up your time with something. Hell, even daydreaming, I live for it. Make up some false scenarios in your head. Ask yourself how you would fare in certain situations. Keep things interesting, for god’s sake. It can all get so monotonous sometimes.

I heard a person close to me once express it all in a very interesting way. She posited that life is a simple demonstration of keeping one’s self distracted. Distract yourself plainly and simply. She argued that that is what it all came down to: occupying your time with activities of any kind. Whether or not it was a “useful” or fruitful usage of one’s time was simply subject to the criticism of the meager individual. Honestly, I couldn’t really argue with this perspective on life’s experiences. You could call it morbid or negative, perhaps, but I couldn’t argue the logic.

It’s not so much about proposing meaninglessness of life’s practices but rather attributing more value to things you would otherwise describe as mundane. “I had to go to the grocery store.” How easy is it to attribute so much more value to this chore if you suppose that you could have otherwise done nothing? Life then becomes a series of practices and reflections that you admire the most rewarding of. Yeah, no, I didn’t find morbidity in that logic but actually found I could extract value out of things I may have used to have distaste for.

“The little things.” We’ve been reminded to enjoy the little things in life. I reckon I’ve continued to enjoy such things in a greater amount as the aging process ensues. I find so much more enjoyment out of doing things “in the moment.” Writing this article, I find satisfaction in it all.

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