Communication | Self-Control | Leadership
The Former U.S. President Abraham Lincoln Invented the Best Strategy for Commenting on Social Media
Follow the Tactics and Strategies of the Pros.
Did you ever experience this or a similar situation:
You open your favorite newspaper. Of course, in an app or a website in 2023.
You read an article.
Immediately after finishing the headline, you feel this sweet, angry emotion crawling up from your belly to your lungs…
And you press the "share to Facebook" button and write a brief hateful comment:
‘“All go to hell”, including the link to the article.
Maybe you didn't use this wording, but most likely, you are also amongst those who have committed the crime of sharing hate speech on social media after reading an article in a newspaper.
I am also pretty sure that sometimes after reading a really stupid, idiotic comment on a post, you flip the switch and write something like, "you are dumb as a donkey"
Don't worry.
You are not alone.
We have all been there, becoming the giver and the receiver of hate speech online.
The thing with hate speech is:
It doesn’t make the writer of hateful posts look good. It harms your reputation.
Yes, you read right.
Constant posting of negative comments makes you more unlikeable, and people will start to stay away from you.
The Science Behind Hate Speech
Why do some people feel the temptation to write negative stuff online?
In my opinion, during the pandemic, it got worse. Before 2020, most online content was about cats, sports, and more cats.
Occasional dog photos, and sometimes people while riding horses.
And yoga. A lot of yoga.
And another cat picture.
During the lockdowns, the sentiment on social media shifted from being a recreational space to a fierce exchange of personal opinions on health, politics, and religion.
And one day, some people started attempting to convince people that they are simply one thing:
Wrong.
It was the days when one side started virtue signaling online while the other side unloaded 100s of hateful comments.
I often asked myself why people tend to write negative comments instead of lifting each other up.
Knowing better, why am I also engaged in the new negativity trend online?
In 2005 the National Insitute of Science published an article summarizing the research on human thoughts. The researchers pointed out that 85% of the 80,000 thoughts a person has daily are negative.
Well, comedies are designed to make people laugh, and newspapers are designed to stir up negative thoughts and emotions.
These days, journalists mostly write clickbait headlines and clickbait articles that evoke anger.
Now, expressing a reaction to an article is only a click away.
Before 2006 every newspaper I read was a real paper. When something upset me, I had to call a friend to talk about it. Or wait until I meet someone in real life to "publish" the negative thought to one person.
Most reactions were gone after 20 minutes, and I realized that what I thought was important at the moment of reading lost its significance after the emotional rush was over.
Today: Everybody can publish negativity to the global population, and the algorithm ensures that the thought reaches more and more people.
Other people add to the negativity with new comments and likes, which signals the algorithm to distribute it to more people — and the ranting snowball effect evolves into a hateful avalanche.
Abraham Lincoln Shows the Way Out.
Former U.S. president Abraham Lincoln invented the best strategy to shine on social media instead of coming across as someone who always complains.
Yes, I am talking about Abraham Lincoln. U.S. President from 1861 until his assassination in 1865.
Some readers might say — well social media didn't exist back then — so what rubbish are you going to dish here?
Yes, and you are right.
But the problem of dealing with the desire to express negative emotions combined with negative thoughts in writing and hate speech as a reaction to something that has happened is as old as human beings exist.
Reportedly Abraham Lincoln wasn't much different from other people. He also experienced rushes of anger and hate.
What made him unique was the way of dealing with his emotions to maintain his high status in society, instead of burning it with a few hateful actions.
The Background to Lincoln's Letter to General Meade
There is a nice story about Abraham Lincoln's letter to the US General Meade, demonstrating how Lincoln processed negative reactive emotions.
In the Independence war in the U.S., General Meade could have ended the conflict with a quick attack on General Lee's retreating forces at Gettysburg in 1863.
General Meade could have attacked the retreating Army, and some historians assume that a significant destruction of the Army could have ended the war in 1863. It was also the belief set by Abraham Lincoln.
But General Lee escaped over the Potomac River with his forces, and as a result, it prolonged the war for two years.
We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature — Abraham Lincolns first inauguration speech
U.S. President Abraham Lincoln addressed the point of friendship over the war in his first inauguration speech in 1861. Britannica points out, that Lincoln neither was a friend of war, nor peace. He would have preferred a peaceful solution through negotiation but was also ready to fight.
The outcome of the Gettysburg encounter could have ended the war and led the opposing parties back to the negotiation table. This development seemed to have been more in Lincoln's interest than a long-lasting war with thousands of dead soldiers and civilians.
Lincoln's Letter to General Meade
As Abraham Lincoln received the message that General Lee could escape after a defeat on the battlefield, he was upset about General Meades inability to go after the enemy and eliminate the threat to the United States.
Mr. Lincoln was clearly overwrought at the failure of the Union army to overtake and destroy Confederates retreating from Gettysburg. He walked “up and down the floor [at the telegraph office in the War Department], his face grave and anxious, wringing his hands and showing every sign of distress. As the telegrams would come in he traced the positions of the two armies on the map…”4Historian Gabor Boritt suggests that President Lincoln sent Vice President Hamlin to convey his concerns directly to Meade.
In his first emotional reaction, he sat down and wrote a devastating letter to General Meade.
He blamed General Meade for a crucial failure that harmed the cause of the Union and most likely prolonged the war indefinitely.
Receiving such a letter from a person in power — The U.S. President — without having the chance to explain and engage in a conversation had a high chance to destroy the motivation of the General.
When the person in charge doesn't want to continue anymore, usually the structures he commands lose their power.
A typical leadership problem. More so, in a war, it could turn success on the battlefield into failure, resulting in losing the entire war.
Abraham Lincoln wrote the letter in his first rush of anger and decided to not sent it.
It seems to be a habit that he and other great leaders have developed to process anger, anxiety, and fear.
What can we learn from the "Art of the Unsent Letter?"
In the days before the internet communication was complicated. Telegrams were short notes stripped down to the essentials, letters were time-consuming to write, and even a phone call needed preparation.
Call dates needed to be arranged — either in person or via secretaries. Just calling and expecting the other person to be always available was an expectation that got disappointed all the time.
Since only landlines and no mobile phones existed, nobody sat in front of a phone the whole day, waiting for a random person to call.
In the old days, people had time to digest the first emotional reaction following a bad experience before having a chance to communicate their concerns to others.
As a result, the reactions were much more mindful, compare to today.
Smartphones, the internet, and social media have made it easy to convey emotional reactions to the whole world — immediately.
Influencers also encourage people to share their thoughts right away, without having second thoughts.
Everybody has become guilty of the crime of sharing overly excited reactions, or negative ones with a larger group via social media.
The lesson behind Lincoln's secret art of the unsent letter is not becoming a pushover and accepting everything.
His habit was digesting the first rush of emotions as a private reaction to an outside event.
Writing in a journal helps structure the thought process and come to more profound conclusions than immediately going after the persecutor.
Whenever you encounter an exaggerated emotion like euphoria, anger, and anxiety, process your reaction by writing in a diary before talking with others.
Pause and wait a few days before responding to the event — which usually involves people. When criticism is necessary, do it in person one on one and not in public. It helps negotiate a mutually beneficial outcome first, before involving other people.
One of my martial arts teachers pointed out that they sometimes wait ten days before expressing their frustration to others.
What seemed like a pressing issue in an emotional reaction often has absolutely no significance a few days later.
And what needs to be addressed can still be discussed in a 1:1 conversation after ten days when it is an important matter.
Before being quick to react remember this proverb:
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