The Forgotten Art of Giving a F**k
There are times when you should care what other’s think of you
The supermarket self service queue is possibly the most morbid place to be at the end of a hard day’s work. Everyone’s tired and in a hurry. The key word here is ‘everyone.’
Not in the eyes of the entitled few. Like the young mum in front of me this evening. She was on the phone with a friend. The rather loud discussion sounded urgent. She was tossing up the merits of the latest ‘Married at First Sight’ dude. Pretty serious stuff! I never watch that show. But then, I am a boring, middle aged woman.
The young mum had a baby in a pram who was whimpering from time to time. And a toddler who was ransacking the counters near the check out. There were packets of peanuts, chewy mints and chupa chups strewn everywhere. People looked. Some rolled their eyes. Other’s smiled patiently.
Then, things turned a tad serious. The toddler decided to unload the trolley of another customer. He grabbed hold of grocery items and threw them with all his might. The poor child was obviously bored to death and wanted mum to stop jabbering on the phone and pay him some attention.
Every misbehaviour on the part of a child is a cry for attention.
The elderly gentleman tried to salvage his groceries and looked to the mum expectantly.
By then, almost half the supermarket had noticed the drama.
What do you think she did?
Nada. Zilch. Nothing.
Instead, her voice went up a bit as she declared to her friend,
“He’s only little and he’s bored. Not like he’s stealing. All these people keep staring at us. As if I care. I don’t give a f**k!”
Say, what now!
What is it with the some humans that take a well meaning advice and turn it into a justification for selfish behaviour?
I am sure you’ll agree with me that Mark Manson wasn’t encouraging us to behave like entitled brats through his popular book!
Luckily for us, such extreme cases of social apathy are still a rarity. But, milder versions are rampant.
Excuse me, but one does need to give a f**k when one’s behaviour is impacting negatively on others.
In fact, one should do something about it before other’s get a chance to think or say anything at all.
And if that radar is not working for you, then take the cue from the reaction of those around you for heaven’s sake.
Civilised society has certain norms that are non negotiable. These norms are there for your own good too. Wonder how forgiving the young mum would have felt if someone’s toddler had snatched that phone off her hands!
Most humans have a lot of sympathy for mums with toddlers and babies. they are often allowed to the front of the queue. I am sure had this lady shown a little bit more social etiquette, she would have been out of that supermarket way earlier.
Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference
Of course one is entitled to be an individual. Have your thoughts and opinions, stick to them with conviction. As long as they are not contrary to basic tenets of civilisation.
Individuality is not an excuse for asocial behaviour.
Isn’t it a little scary to think that some of the worst heads of states in the history of mankind actually had mastered the art of not caring about other’s opinions, thoughts, feelings? They had taught their self absorbed egos to listen only to their own voice.
Is there an antidote to this trend of extreme self entitlement in some? There is no magic bullet. And to be honest, no radical new solution is needed either. What is needed is the a few books on the topic of Social Responsibility to have catchy titles and to be the latest buzz!
Maybe that sounds too cynical.
Maybe, selfish and socially unaware people always existed. We just notice them more these days?
The pendulum always swings from one extreme to the other. Maybe the next swing will bring back norms like ‘over the top social politeness’ that will irk us to death.
Whatever happens, time will tell .And I am sure some of us will write about it.
But in the mean time, let us give a little bit of thought to how our actions can affect others, both positively and negatively.
What are your thoughts on this? Share them with me. Would love to know.
I wrote this ‘opinion piece’ inspired by a very popular and powerful writer on Medium, Linda Caroll.
Her articles have encouraged me to just come out and share my thoughts with my readers in my way. Linking one of her popular articles below. if you haven’t read it before, I highly recommend that you do.
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