The Fine Line Between Egghead and Egg on Your Face

No one wants egg on their face, but we all must wipe away the proverbial goo at one point or another…

The English language is chock-full of idiosyncratic and outdated expressions. Even the smartest and most articulate people in the world misinterpret common phrases and subsequently misdeliver them.

Although it is utterly spine-shuddering to hear such utterances as “supposebly” or “all of the sudden”, it is important to remember that ignorance is in our DNA. Blind confidence is what helped us evolve into what we are today but also allows us to blurt out expressions solely on the basis that we’ve heard someone else say it before or it sounds cool.

Confidence is a powerful weapon yet sure to backfire when loaded with misinformation. Whatever the reason for verbal missteps, no one is safe. We all make mistakes. This is because we are all human. Beautifully imperfect and blatantly confident.

“Irregardless”, if this introduction has made you wary of your own idiomatic proficiency but you wish to stay in the splatter zone in hopes of being viewed as an egghead, the following will surely help.

I’ve compiled a list of my most frequently heard, spine-crawling, pet-peeviest idiomatic missteps with relevant information to defend yourself.

Misstep #1: “I could care less”

Correct expression: “I couldn’t care less”

If you put any thought into this expression at all, you can understand why it is a hilarious statement when conveyed with any vigor at all. You could care less. You could also care more. That’s great… but why are you telling me this?

The mic-drop moment you’re looking for comes when you can tell someone that whatever is being discussed is so meaningless that you literally couldn’t care any less. Your care level is at absolute zero. “I couldn’t even care less about this if I tried.” Now that’s a zinger!

Misstep #2: “Straightened arrow”

Correct expression: “Straight and narrow”

In the context of walking or staying on a particular path, “straight” and “narrow” are biblical terms (Mathew 7:14 — New Testament). “Strait is the gate, narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life.” The expression illustrates living an honest or moral life.

A straightened arrow is quite literally just an arrow that has been straightened.

Misstep #3: “Beckoned call”

Correct expression: “Beck and call”

To be “beckoned” is to be invited or waved over, so it’s not crazy to think that “beckoned call” would make sense. The word “beck” originated in the 1800s and is actually short for “beckon”. So, to be at someone’s beck and callwould be to respond to their orders immediately.

I would give someone a pass for this but if you’re into semantics, you know what to cite.

Misstep #4: “One in the same”

Correct expression: “One and the same”

I was horrified to find out that I have been saying this wrong for years (it’s actually what inspired this article). If two people, ideas, or things are thought to be different and you want to state that they are actually the same, you can say they are “one and the same”. One thing and the same (thing). It’s very simple. I have no excuse.

Misstep #5: “All intensive purposes”

Correct expression: “All intents and purposes”

Derived from sixteenth-century English legal jargon, the phrase was shortened from: “All intents, constructions, and purposes”. The phrase means “in every sense” or “practically”.

This, opposed to “intensive”, meaning concentrated or singular.

Misstep #6: “Nip in the butt”

Correct expression: “Nip in the bud”

Nipping something in the bud originated from horticulture, where trimming a plant would stop its growth. The correct usage of the expression is to describe stopping something before it develops into something larger.

Conversely, nipping something in the“butt”would refer to reprimanding or scolding someone or something. Like a slap on the wrist or a spanking.

Misstep #7: “Taken for granite”

Correct expression: “Taken for granted”

Although very rare, I have, amazingly, heard this iteration of the expression before. “Don’t take my idea for granite”, as if their idea is dumb, heavy, or simple… possibly invaluable? I’m not quite sure.

But of course, the expression is “taken for granted”, as in assuming that someone or something will always be there or is unvital.

Misstep #8: “You’ve got another thing coming”

Correct expression: “You’ve got another think coming”

These two phrases are interchangeable and you’ll likely not be challenged when using either one. The word “think”used in this context dates back to the mid-19thcentury and refers to an opinion or thought. In the context of urging someone to change their mind, think is more specific. Saying, “you’ve got another think coming” infers that the opposed must re-consider their point or idea. “If you think that I’m going to stand for this, you have another think coming.”

“Thing”, although not incorrect, is vaguer and a modern tweak to the original phrase.

Misstep #9: “First come, first serve”

Correct expression: “First come, first served”

A simple suffix will suffice. The expression explains a situation where those thatarrive first are served first. This is in opposition to the misstep which denotes that those who arrive first are the ones who must serve others first.

Misstep #10: “Case and point”

Correct expression: “Case in point”

Derived from a mid 1600s French expression “a pointer” meaning “to point”, the expression “case and point” started being used in English in the 1700s. This expression is used to illustrate a relevant example of a particular topic to make an argument or “point”. “Not all actors are self-involved. Case in point, Keanu Reeves”.

The phrase, “case and point” is redundant as it refers to one’s case and point, which are essentially the same thing. It’s like saying, “Bingo, I win!”

Now, armed with relevant information to defend yourself against those wielding eggs and wishing to splatter you with the goo of ignorance, you may confidently move forward as a vaunting egghead.

Best of luck!