How to Deal With the Fears in the Way of Progress?

Some of the things are beyond our self-control

Fear is not just a feeling. It’s the mental stigma of possible mishappenings. We all deal with them at times. Instinctual fear protects us from dangerous situations. For eg. the fear of death. The other is the constructed fear that confines us to our boundaries, such as the anxiety of an interview, nervousness during the presentations, and so on.

It is said that experiences diminish existing fears. For instance, an average person freezes when he confronts a tiger, but a hunter doesn’t; because in his experience — it’s just a day-to-day challenge.

However, that’s not true.

The hunter is equally scared of the tiger. But his mind responds differently in that situation. He trained it that way. It has learned to tackle fear with a response, differently from an average person.

History narrates that only a few men in millions act against the underlying fears.

Galileo was constantly threatened and jailed for his research that opposed then prevalent orthodox beliefs. Nelson Mandela spent decades in prison but didn’t surrender to his hope to win against all the odds. Edison kept trying to light the bulb a thousand times, despite the uncertainty that it might never glow.

These men equally went through anxiety, frustration, and fear like everybody else. But they conquered their existent fears with faith, courage, and determination.

Here we explore these fears and empirical ways to overcome them.

Fear of Failure (Atychiphobia)

It is the fear that blocks your winning spirit.

When your mind is occupied by tens of ways you could fail, you surely will. This mental insecurity completely undermines the possibility that you can succeed.

The apparent reason for this fear is past setbacks or a lack of emotional support. It could also be the guilt or embarrassment of failure, and misconception to become a subject of laughter. The result, an extreme resistance is mentally built. It sabotages the probability of impending success.

How to help yourself?

Everybody fears to fail. But optimists, rather see the other side of the story.

They insist that failure is a deceiving word and it doesn’t exist.

Oprah — “There is no such thing as failure. Failure is just life trying to move us in another direction.”

That means when you think it is the end, its a new step. With each setback, you find a new direction if you are optimistic enough to see it.

But then, if you seriously think that people will laugh at your attempts — you are distracted. Because people laugh at almost anything, including their mirror image. You should rather be focused on your goal, and not on the consequences. “I needed to go… the pull of the Everest was stronger for me than any force on earth” — said Tenzing Norgay Sherpa, after scaling the Everest for the first time in history.

Thus, focus and self-confidence tears down the fear of failure. You have to trust yourself and your rightful actions. Chanakya says — “Even if a snake is not poisonous, it should pretend to be venomous”. Your confidence is your venom. And you can overcome the fear with it.

Fear of criticism /social anxiety disorder (SAD)

Criticism is the oldest human habit. Born along with the ability to speak, and matured with the ability to think, every person passes comments based on their size of mind. Presumably, it’s because they want to be heard or be felt alive, maybe.

Though criticism is also meant to explore the positive facets, it has a sharper eye to look at the flaws. Criticisms can either constructively serve as the third eye to an idea or destructively pale out the wisdom within it.

Why the fear of criticism can be dangerous?

The fear of criticism subconsciously threatens your idea from being expressed. Criticism is the worst fear of wise people. It demotivates creativity and drives frustration. There are instances of suicides, depression, and psychopathy being unable to handle austere critics.

How to help yourself?

Avoid overthinking: Thinking is making an opinion about something. Overthinking is dwelling on what others think about the same. Criticism compels overthinking and you need to stop this tendency.

Judge for logic: Listen to what others have to say. If possible, confront them and attempt to convince them. An important part of dealing with comments is to find the logic behind it. Not all people have a propelling logic for an opinion. This logical filtration, as far as possible will allow you to uptake useful suggestions.

Refrain from negativity: Avoid puppets with a negative brain. You cannot impress everyone, especially not them. People have a negative mindset because they evolved with it. It is an addictive habit and you can’t change it, no matter what. It’s better to refrain from them because there is simply no logic in negativity.

Will Smith — “My grandmother once told me, ‘Don’t let failure go to your heart and don’t let success go to your head.”

That’s one of the best advice. A little criticism should not break you. A little appreciation should not excite you. You should know that criticism is like the tides. You can survive only if you resist them. Else, you are consumed into the depths of hopelessness, eventually losing your existence. Your resilience determines how far and majestic you will sail.

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
 — Franklin D. Roosevelt

Fear of Change (Metathesiophobia)

Wonder why would someone fear change? Change is life and the gift of nature.

But the fear of change prevails because we avoid the changes in our lives, as far as we can.

Have you noticed that you continue with your job even if it is of no interest to you? You fear that you might end up broke without it. The outdated version of the windows is still on your PC because you are uncomfortable with the new one. You see people sticking on to the toxic relationships because they fear they might have to live single.

Your makeup and the cosmetics are solely intended to keep you young forever. It’s to avoid changes undergone by your age.

Change is inevitable, still, you do your best to battle it. In the journey from life to death, most changes are painful somehow. You get used to things that you have in control and want them to stay alike forever. How is it even possible?

A few months ago, I offered one of my friends to have biryani for lunch. But he thankfully denied my offer. More shocking was the excuse he made. He didn’t want it because he won’t be able to have it again tomorrow. So, he doesn’t want a pleasant change for this single day. He is happy enough with what he has.

How to overcome the fear of change?

Sadly, we may never overcome this fear. It is because a change is often a painful thing to embrace.

Even in the 21st century, why does racial discrimination prevail? It is simply because you are unable to change your mentality. My parents still believe that a black cat is the demon’s ride, and somewhere they fed it in my subconscious mind, so I might do it too.

Two centuries ago, a Hungarian Physician Ignaz Semmelweis fought a greater resistance to change. Semmelweis discovered that the incidence of puerperal fever in pregnant women could be drastically reduced by the use of hand disinfection/sanitizing in obstetrical clinics. He suggested washing hands to his coworkers. But they forcefully denied changing their practices. An avalanche of opposition led him to suspension from work. Later, his idea brought massive changes in the antiseptic procedures. But we, the obstinate humans, are still learning how to properly wash hands.

George Bernard Shaw — “The reasonable man adapts himself to the world: the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”

Change begins with one person at a time. Semmelweis took upon the responsibility for himself and changed the whole world in the long run. When he observed room for improvement, he battled a whole generation to convince them of the change. Undeniably then the change occurred, slowly but inevitably.

How committed are you to improve yourself? — shows how fearless you are to change. It requires all the courage, honesty, and determination. Your readiness for improvement is vital to beat the fear of change. Because each one of us has the power to inspire and change the world for better.