The Fastest Way to Ruin Your Entire Life
A step-by-step guide
The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.
here’s another quick tutorial on how to ruin the rest of your life…
Step One: Mastering closed body language
Go through life with a closed body language slouch your shoulders, keep your head down, don’t make eye contact, and don’t give anybody the impression that you’re someone they can talk to or someone they can trust. Appearing socially unreceptive will reduce the number of friends you make and keep spontaneous human interaction to a minimum, which is great now. Hopefully everyone can just get out of your way and leave you alone.
Step Two: Phone as a shield
Check your phone when in doubt. Even if you don’t know why, always look occupied so you don’t have to interact with anybody you’re not comfortable interacting with. It could be awkward or unpredictable so don’t risk it tickling your brain stem whenever you don’t know what to do. Make this your default do it so often that you genuinely forget how people are supposed to interact, further solidifying this automatic behavior.
Step Three: Embrace tardiness
Be late; never be early for anything. Always tend to show up right on time or a few minutes late. Don’t give anybody the impression that you’re prepared, diligent, or have decent time management skills. You don’t want to come across as too Keen, plus being early is awkward. What if you have to talk with somebody you don’t really know, like, What are you going to do to make a new friend?
Step Four: The art of excuses
When you do run late or make any kind of mistake in life, you should always make excuses and always have some sort of half-baked reason why you did a bad thing. Blame something or anything but never own up to your mistakes or try earnestly to correct them just cycle through a rotation of excuses and keep track of how recently you’ve used them. The bottom line is that you should never admit that your wrongdoing is your fault, even when you know it.
Step Five: External locus of control
develop an external locus of control and begin to actually believe that nothing is your fault. Choose to believe that everything in your life happens to you and nothing because of you and that you have no part to play in your misfortune. Doing this will trick your subconscious into relinquishing control of your fortune, and you’ll begin to believe that success will just happen to you.
Step Six: Steal the spotlight
Always find a way to steer the conversation back to yourself. Whatever story you just heard isn’t as crazy as that thing that happened to you that one time. Never ask anybody how they’re doing and if you do, out of courtesy, take the mic back as soon as possible. After all, how are you supposed to get any validation without talking about yourself? You need as much validation as you can get Acting this way around other people will make you so exhausted to be around that you’ll find yourself slowly losing friends instead of gaining them.
Step Seven: Detract and demean
On the off chance that you’re not talking about yourself, make sure to talk about others in a negative light, especially if you can find someone else who shares your toxicity cackles, and sneers at people you don’t like to convince yourself that they should know better, become so proficient at noticing the flaws in others that it becomes an automatic reflex. Let any celebration or words of affirmation sour in your wake Serve every compliment on your backhand.
Step Eight: Shape-shifting identity
Say one thing, do another, and act one way in front of others and another way behind closed doors. Live your life as if you’re several different people Be unpredictable, even to yourself. Be a chameleon, whatever you need to be at any given moment Be so unfamiliar with your own moral standards that you lose any sense of identity.
Step Nine: Wishful thinking
Never surrender yourself to the effort of planning or the humility of prayer; simply wish for things to be different. fantasize daily about your perfect world and your perfect life. Reject the card you’ve been dealt; refuse to play an active role in the shaping of your destiny Just wait for the night in shining armor to come, prancing down the hill.
Step Ten: Embrace weakness
shrink regularly and participate in activities that steal your life; don’t engage in behaviors that make you feel strong; always take the path of least resistance to convince yourself that what’s good for you is bad and what’s bad for you is good.
Step Eleven: Embrace despair
despair believes that you are unworthy of redemption, that somehow your flaws are unforgivable, actively reject your own forgiveness, subscribe to the idea that no matter what you do, you’re destined for condemnation, believe that you are fundamentally bad, and since humans tend to act according to what they believe they are, this will make it much easier to continue doing bad things. It’s just who you are; live your life as if you’ve been dead for 20 years and it’s already too late to change anything.
And there you have it, guys: 11 practical ways to ruin your entire life. It sounds funny, though. Let me know what you guys think in the comment section and you can also add yours there. Make sure you give it all your claps and subscribe to my newsletter if you haven’t already to stay up-to-date with my articles.