The Fastest Way To Kill Your Stress In Real-Time

Take back control of your mind and body

Life is full of stress. No matter how successful we are, trials and tribulations are thrown at us left, right, and center.

Everyone needs to find a way to control their own mind and body, allowing themselves to calm down at the moment that stress hits.

Instead of letting it paralyze us, we need to dominate it.

When we’re stressed, our bodies are in a hyper-heightened state.

We’re too alert, too activated, and too agitated. We’re no good to anyone like that, especially ourselves.

Everything around us at that very moment is like sandpaper, and it’s constant friction. It seems like it’s one thing after another.

The goal of immediately killing our stress is to bring that all down to a manageable level.

When I’m trying to slow my mind down, it feels as though I’m trying to grab fog.

It just slips through my fingers and spreads through my mind, and consequently through my body.

If we’re going to kill stress, we need to respect and understand it.

What does it mean to be ‘stressed’?

Photo by Clovis Wood Photography on Unsplash

Thousands of years ago, our lives were full of threats and danger.

I’m not talking about handing in assignments on time. I mean, life-threatening danger.

We had to deal with predators, rival tribes, environmental dangers, and more.

The ‘fight or flight’ response was really useful back then.

It worked faster than our thought process would, getting us out of tricky (and deadly) situations, quicker than we could think ‘Maybe I should leave.’

Our pupils dilate to allow more light in, so we can see more. Heart rate and blood pressure climb to pump blood into muscles we might need to activate.

We’re in a state of heightened alertness.

Ready to smash the threat or scram for our lives.

The problem now though, is most of our problems are first-world.

We’re worried about paying bills, social interactions, problems at work, and impressing other people.

As bad as they seem at the time, these aren’t life-threatening problems.

Our body doesn’t know that.

So, no matter how trivial our worries are, our body always initiates the same physical fight or flight response as it did thousands of years ago.

Back then, if a psychotic creature was chasing me for a slice of my buttocks, it was temporary and quick. I’d run or I would kill the animal, but it’d last 15–30 minutes max.

Once I get away from the danger, the stress is over, and my body brings itself down to normal levels of function.

Today, however, our problems are way less severe, but they’re now more chronic and long-lasting.

If my boss was an ass 15 minutes ago, he’s still going to be an ass tomorrow, the day after, the month after that.

So, instead of my body calming down, it’s in a prolonged state of stress.

This causes long-term health problems, and chronic anxiety to the point I expect everything to stress me out.

That means eventually, I’ll struggle to wake up in the morning, and won’t be able to sleep, further impacting my stress levels the next day.

The things that used to bring me enjoyment will now be stressful.

So, how do we beat it?

BREATHING AND HEART RATE

It surprises me as to how many people know what to do, but don’t actually do it.

This is the single, most important technique you can employ to kill your stress in the moment.

It’s a well-known scientific fact, that controlling our breathing in turn, lowers our heart rate.

Consequently, a lower heart rate is the fastest way to force our body to bring down its heightened state of agitation.

When we breathe in (inhale) fast, which is usually one of the first responses to stress, our brain sends signals to a node in our heart, telling it to speed up the pumping process.

We need to become aware of what’s happening.

That’s why it’s so important to understand what stress is in the first place, to know what physical changes we’re trying to counter.

Instead of breathing in fast, we need to breathe in through our nose, much slower than usual, and then take deep breaths out, emptying our lungs.

This slower rate of breathing, and deeper exhale, will cause the brain to send a signal to our heart, telling it to slow down.

By doing this we’re actively fighting our stress, and we know its weak points.

We’re fighting the temptation to move and breathe heavily. There’s absolutely no need to go along with the stress response because we’re not going to die.

Unless a lion is chasing you, which is what the fight or flight response is actually designed for, nothing else is important enough for our body to change so drastically.

While you exhale deeply, know that whatever it is that’s causing your stress, can be dealt with in one way or another.

There is always a way.

No matter what your stress is.

After a few minutes of keeping that in your mind, and regulating your breathing, your body will come down from the stressed state, and you’ll be able to think about something else.

That shouldn’t be the end of your fight with stress though.

What comes next? — Stress Journalling

Grab a warming cup of coffee, or anything that tickles your fancy, and get yourself comfortable.

So, we know we can beat stress as it’s happening, but we need to do a little more work to keep our stress levels low.

I’ve found the best way to get over life's problems is to write them down.

Everything’s mumbo jumbo in my head.

When I don’t know what to write, or if my day has been particularly stressful, I’ll start by writing anything that comes to mind.

I write about what’s been stressing me out, what happened in my day, any positive outcomes, etc.

It’s for my eyes only, so it doesn’t matter how I write it or what I write.

I’ll then go through what I’ve written, and start to give it more structure.

What negative experiences did I have, or what caused my stress today?

How did that event make me feel? What emotions did I feel? Was I angry, upset, or scared?

What immediate consequences were there?

Is there evidence to justify why I feel so stressed about it? or what evidence is there to disprove my extreme thinking?

How could I have avoided the situation? If I can’t avoid it, how can I protect myself from any negatives in the future? Should I prepare more for that next presentation or interview? Should I cut out the toxic people in my life so it doesn’t happen again?

Am I making a mountain out of a molehill? If I was thinking of it from the perspective of a friend, what advice would I give myself?

What positives could have come out of this event? Even if there are none, am I going to survive? Can I move on with my life?

What’s the worst-case scenario that could come out of this?

At the end of every negative thought or stress, I’ll ask myself the question ‘Will this matter three years from now?’

Once you start journalling your stresses, you’ll see that they’re actually not that bad.