The Faint Line Between Being Happy and Staying Miserable.
It’s what you do and how you do it that makes you end up being miserable.
“It is the working man who is the happy man. It is the idle man who is the miserable man.” Benjamin Franklin
I don’t like to struggle but I struggle every day.
I’m sure most people prefer getting something on a platter of gold than struggle to get it. But to grow, we must find something to struggle for.
The problem for most is that they don’t know how to contain their struggle. And when you can’t contain your struggle, you end up being defeated by it.
Your happiness comes from how much struggle you are willing to put in to get what will make you happy.
If achieving financial freedom will make you happy, how much struggle are you willing to put in to achieve it?
If being fit and healthy will make you happy. How much struggle are you willing to put in to exercise and stay off junk foods?
If being smart and knowledgeable will make you happy. How much struggle are you willing to put in to read good books?
The distinct difference between those who are happy and those who are miserable is that happy people have learned to struggle for the right thing to get what they want.
How? By putting in a lot of work and caring for themselves.
“A life of ease is not the pathway to growth and happiness. On the contrary, a life of ease is how you get stuck and confused in life.” -Benjamin P. Hardy
If you don’t struggle to stay healthy and fit, you will never know the importance of having good health. If you don’t struggle to create your financial freedom, you will never know the true value of your time and money. The truth is we give our lives meaning when we find the right stuff to struggle for.
“It is in responsibility that most people find meaning that sustains them through life.” Viktor Frankl
Miserable people live their life in extremes.
You ask me how?
They become obese before they know they need to start exercising.
They become addicted before they know they need to go to rehab.
They become depressed before they know they need to end their toxic relationship.
They fail at important things of life before they see that too much pleasure is affecting them.
Doing these two things will help you stay away from being miserable.
Start with action.
All of life is active. Why stay passive? Plants grow, water flows, nature evolves, humans adapt and grow.
The #1 way to stop being miserable is to stop hiding from your struggle and learn to take action for what you want.
When you hide from your struggle, you will always complain about everything. If you are not happy about something or your situation, change your reaction or complain with purpose.
“I’ve learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our disposition and not on our circumstances.” ― Martha Washington
Action is the name of the game when it comes to achieving anything you want. And learning to take right actions brings in good struggle into your life.
You want to start a business, take the right action by starting it.
You want to be fit and healthy, take the right action by exercising and avoid junks.
You want to be a writer, take the right action by writing anything down today.
You want to be a painter, take the right action by painting.
Will it be easy? No. Will you achieve your goal immediately? No. But over time, the results add up and tell you if you’re on the right track.
To stop living a miserable life, you need to work on your personal development. And the core piece of your personal development always involves filling that gap between thought and action.
If you start to get good at something, especially a skill or path that deviates from the norm of the society, you gain a level of confidence you simply can’t get elsewhere. And that’s what personal development is all about. Self-confidence.
It’s easier to make friends when you already have friends. It’s easier to make money when you already have money. It’s easier to get into a relationship when you have already been into one. It’s easier to get a job when you already have a job. The reason: self-confidence. But it comes with taking the right action.
Taking the right action brings about change in your beliefs. And once you are able to change your belief, your behaviour changes which in turn changes your life.
What’s the most important thing on a miserable persons mind? I will tell you. It’s getting out of the situation(s) that is making them miserable.
Do you hate your job? Instead of quitting immediately when there is nothing to fall back on, why not build good skills you can use to get another job or start a side hustle rather than being miserable while you are there.
Is your relationship toxic? End it and work on yourself to build a better relationship.
It won’t be easy at first but what will happen is that you will grow in the direction of what you’ve chosen to focus on.
It’s always about action and will always be. Once you can embrace the struggle that comes with taking the right action while being at peace with yourself, you will end up leaving the miserable life behind you. And when you learn to struggle for the right thing, you find a meaning for your life.
Right action leads to engagement. Engagement leads to passion, and passion leads to meaning. And If you have discovered what your life’s passion is, run with it. Put your heart and soul into it and don’t ever stop. When you know what you want your life to look like, it’s 100 times easier to create.
Care for your energies daily.
Without energy, we can’t do our work. And when you know the right action to take but don’t have the energy to do what matters, you will end up staying miserable.
There are four energies you must take care of daily if you want to get the best out of yourself. Learnt this from James Altucher.
Physical energy: Take care of your body by eating well and also, sleeping well for at least 8 hours a day. To boost your physical energy, exercise.
Emotional energy: Learn to show compassion to yourself and others. To boost your emotional energy, connect with others.
Mental energy: Take care of your brain by feeding it the right nutrient so that you don’t worry about the usual bullshit stuff like fear, depression, and worry. When you do this, you increase your ability to concentrate, focus, pay attention, listen and engage. To boost your mental energy, try meditation and read good books.
Spiritual energy: Take care of your soul by being present. The pasts are memories while the future is speculation neither which you have control over. Learn to appreciate the present and don’t be in a time machine. To boost your spiritual energy, practice quiet time with your creator.
Happy people over time, create an effective lifestyle that boosts their daily energies to take action. While miserable people don’t create an effective lifestyle mainly because they are not effective.
No one wants to live a miserable life. But to achieve that, you must be willing to struggle for the right thing. And to struggle for the right thing, you need to have the energy to enact those actions otherwise, you will be stuck.
I’ve learnt to take action for what is important in my life. I’ve always wanted to be a writer, I took action by writing and publishing my work. I’ve always wanted to start a business, I took action by starting an online business. Did I get the result immediately? No. But over time, the result adds up and tell me if I’m headed in the right direction.
When you learn to take action, you are closer to achieving your goal and once you can balance it by taking care of your daily energies, not only will you be happy you will also never be miserable.
The power is in your hands if you are willing to struggle for it. I’m willing to struggle for it. Are you?