LIVING WITH A PSYCHOPATH
The Faces Carved On Pumpkins By A Psychopath
Looking back, I wonder if there was a message
As parents gather with their children for memorable pumpkin carving, I’m reminded of my family’s first Halloween with my ex-husband, the psychopathic murderer.
Lanterns made from root vegetables
Pumpkins and gourds can be found on front porches throughout North America during October. By Halloween, countless pumpkins will be displayed with startling faces that homeowners carve on them, candles inside their hollowed-out insides, and flames flickering to make the faces appear lifelike.
Interestingly, according to this article, the history of Halloween and carving faces into root vegetables has a variety of backgrounds and what we know today began in Celtic rituals. During Samhain eve, it was believed that the spirits of the dead were restless; therefore, people would dress in costumes to ward them off and carry lanterns carved with scary faces from root vegetables left over at the end of the season.
An artist’s creative take on carving
October 2002 was my older two children’s and my first Halloween with my second husband, Joseph. He carved one pumpkin to represent each of us. He let my children choose what kind of eyes, mouth, and nose each had.
We posed the family pumpkins out front; my son’s pumpkin was on his skateboard. It’s adorable, and the house is decked out for the season, complete with spider webs stretching in every corner throughout the house and on the front porch.
I felt warm and excited that he was artistically talented and so patient with my kids after everything they’d been through with their dad, who’d been abusive and neglectful. It reminded me of when I was a kid and how I’d eagerly reach in, pull out the gooey, stringy innards of the pumpkin and splatter the goop all over the newspaper on our kitchen table.
Then dad would help me painstakingly scoop down the sides using a spoon until it was smooth on the inside. Later mom would carefully clean and toast the seeds until they were brown, and we’d eat them while they were still warm. My dad, a cartoonist, would give me free rein to have whatever kind of face I wanted on my pumpkin, and I’d think up elaborate faces with a lot of teeth.
The carvings of a killer
In 2002, while I was reminiscing about my childhood, Joseph had lovingly worked with my children and set out all the pumpkins in just the right places to represent our family to anyone who drove by. I had decorated our house for the holiday, and my kids were as excited as I had been when I was a little girl. My heart was overjoyed with anticipation of their childhoods being everything I’d dreamed of for them.
The “Joseph pumpkin” had half a face carved out the way a person would typically carve a jack o’lantern, with the eyes, nose, and mouth parts missing from the pumpkin where candlelight would later shine through. He’d sliced the other half of the face in reverse, with the pumpkin itself hallowed out and only the main parts of the face still hanging on. I’d thought that was clever and something I’d never seen before. I had no idea.
Three and a half years later, I discovered that he’d lived his entire life presenting himself to the world the way everyone else did. But that was only a mask, and everyone believed what he presented. He pretended to have emotions. But in reality, he was missing every ounce of emotions that give us our humanity.
