The Epic Shenanigans of My 16lb Turkey

Story of a Thanksgiving Adventure

Last week, I declared my commitment to cook a turkey for 12 people. What was I thinking?

After some deliberation, I came up with an ingenious plan. I’d done this on a smaller scale before, so it wasn’t a completely crazy idea.

Whole Foods does a great job with fully-cooked turkeys, so I decided to order a ‘Classic Whole-Roasted Turkey for 12’. Turns out that it was a 16lb whopper!

Fret not — it sounds like I cheated, but only a little. This is really a great way to prep a turkey by saving time on the cooking and feeling confident that you won’t be serving raw meat. You are free to customize the bird any way you want, or leave as-is. Read on for my devilish plan.

The 24-hour Marinade

I poked and prodded the bird to create holes for the marinade to seep in. I rubbed in olive oil, seasoning, cayenne pepper, whole peppercorns, a whole bunch of the freshest parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme (yes, like the song which I love) sourced from my local farmers’ market, and of course, oranges, lemons, garlic, and jalapenos. I popped the turkey into the fridge and let the marinade do the trick.

The 2-hour journey

It was not supposed to be this long!! Sadly, the Holland Tunnel had other plans.

Did I tell you that the venue for the gathering was not my place but a friend’s who lived in Jersey City? She had more space, a stunning view, and was an old hand at entertaining large groups.

We transported the heavy bird along with all its accoutrements (more than 20 lbs now) into two 30 lb foil pans doubled up and carefully into our car.

The traffic at the mouth of the tunnel was the absolute worst I’d ever experienced, but we plodded along and got there an hour later. As you can imagine, to say I was a little hot and bothered would be an understatement. But all’s well that ends well.

Upon arrival, I grabbed a building luggage cart and placed the turkey on it before running into the nearest elevator.

No one seemed phased by my late entry. Everyone was blissfully tipsy and enjoying the many appetizers — what a relief indeed.

I rushed in and placed the turkey straight into my friend’s pre-heated oven. Mission accomplished!

The delightful meal

The 24-hour marinade resulted in the juiciest and most delicious turkey I’d ever tasted. We heated the prepped and covered bird in a 350F oven for 1.5 hours, removing the cover for the last 10 minutes and resting on the counter for 15 mins.

I was showered with compliments and many were sold on the idea of buying a wholly roasted bird for future Thanksgivings.

The photo above is of the marinaded bird before we popped it into the refrigerator.

Here’s one taken afterward:

Lesson Learned

A week ago, I thought I’d bitten off more than I could chew. But unless we venture outside of our comfort zone, it’s impossible to know how far we can go. Granted, I’m just talking about a turkey dinner here, but think about other things in your life you’re reluctant about.

What would happen if you took a little risk? What if you bit off more than you thought you could chew? As they say, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Give it a try and let me know. Or simply write me a comment if you gave it a go.

Here’s the piece I’d written last week. Thanks to everyone who’d given me some solid tips for my turkey. You were all part of my inspiration.