The Emotional Toll Of My Engaging Articles
My most engaging pieces are the ones which cause me the most pain.
I recently published an article titled “I’m Not Ok”, an emotional piece on my thoughts and feelings surrounding my current position in life in addition to the level of my mental health. Upon releasing it slipped my mind to include the caveat, this article was written several weeks prior and wasn’t an up to date representation of my mental state at this current moment in time — my mistake. As a result, friends, family and strangers reached out to check-in and all with good intentions of seeing if I was doing alright, I would answer the phone to worried, concerned voices repeating the phrase:
“Viraj I read your article…”
While this gets annoying at times, the feeling of someone checking up on you does give one a warm, comforting feeling. It was wading in the midst of these feelings I realised the content I create in periods of dark, uncomfortable, highly-emotional states of mind are my most engaging pieces.
For a spot of context “I’m Not Ok” was created as I was overcoming my latest implosion, I had been contemplating what my existence was in life, what I had to give to this world, ultimately reducing myself to a state of crying over everything. In short, I was having my third, possibly fourth mental breakdown of the year, I’ve lost count by this point. The article served the purpose of providing me with an outlet, a canvas to understand and paint what I was going through. It gave me a landscape to explore my feelings, to tap into the pain and create a piece which I could look back on in years to come.
I don’t write with the intent for my work to act as a call for help; I’m not a boy crying wolf. It just so happens we live in a time where individuals are more prone to engage in a conversation when something terrible occurs rather than when we are prospering.
If I were to write an article which accumulated the same amount of interest each week, I would find myself having several implosions a day but, the emotional blender would inevitably lead to a deterioration of my well-being. The stress of expecting that pain every week is not a position I would look forward to finding myself in; it would drive even the strongest minds to insanity.
I don’t feel my readers understand the sensations that are coursing through me as I’m attempting to pour every ounce of emotions I experience into this article. At the same time, questioning if life is worth living; if I’m enough; if I should wake up tomorrow or simply lull myself into eternal night.
All for a three-minute read.
Finding the balance between a near nuclear mental implosion and lightly dipping my toes in the reservoir of unstable emotions, in addition to having a process to channel the energy into an engaging article without letting it affect the rest of the day, might seem like a small ask. Especially as you’re sitting down for your morning coffee, ready to enjoy a juicy article as you’re waiting for your toast, but I assure you.
It’s not as easy as it looks.
Do you find creating emotionally draining? Let me know in the comments or drop me a message on any of the following social networks. I would absolutely love to hear from you! — Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter, TikTok, Youtube.