The Ecology of Being Positive:

Creating a life well-lived

“It takes a long time to become young”

Pablo Picasso

“Next time you’re found with your chin on the ground, there is a lot to be learned, so look around.”

Frank Sinatra (From the song “High Hopes”)

There are many barriers that keep us out of sync with nature, which causes immense harm and, in most cases, can be prevented. For example, how do we address what the American Medical Association is now officially recognizing, that stress is the origin of nearly all chronic illnesses necessitating hospital admissions. Do we resort to giving medication as a quick fix or do we look for a resolution that is more positive, in keeping with a holistic perspective that respects how nature works?

In my field of systemic psychotherapy, many colleagues see “patients” for years without moving past the “how you feel” question. This can truly be a domain of misery. Again, the systemic change that is needed will only come from creating differences that make a difference by utilizing a holistic perspective that recognizes the interdependency of the multitude of available contexts that are within our reach. The brain is “state dependent.” It can unfortunately become comfortable maintaining pain by adhering to repetitive behavior i.e. individuals who may have been verbally abused as children often seek out future friends and significant others with that same quality.

Bruce Lipton, in his extraordinary book about how our environment and beliefs affect our mind/body, The Biology of Belief (New York: Hay House, 2008), addresses the need to be positive and how “You can live a life of fear or live a life of love. You have the choice! But I can tell you that if you choose to see a world full of love, your body will respond by growing in health. If you choose to believe that you live in a dark world full of fear, your body’s health will be compromised as you physiologically close yourself down in a protection response.” (p.113)

Lipton describes the nervous system as having two main parts the “calm” part (parasympathetic) and the “revved” up part (sympathetic). Within this complex system is the Vagus Nerve. It gets its name from the Latin origin meaning, “wandering.” It covers much of the upper body and is the nerve of “compassion.” The consequences of a revved up sympathetic nervous system are that it puts us in the “protector mode” which overrides our nurturing mode. It is difficult to be compassionate, or for that matter empathic, when we are locked into our sympathetic nervous system, which kicks us into “fight or flight.”

We are dumber when frightened. We now know that cell membranes read information from our environment. Stress hormones shrink the portion of our brain that is the center of higher reasoning. Franklin Delano Roosevelt had it right when he referred to fear as our biggest enemy.

The nervous system monitors environmental signals through the HPA axis. The Hypothalamus secretes corticotrophin to the pituitary gland, which launches the body’s organs into action. The adrenal glands coordinate the “fight or flight” process. This results in an excess of hormones, which then constrict the blood vessels of the digestive tract, and next preferentially nourishes tissues in the arms and legs for our quick escape. Lipton further believes that when subconscious buttons get pushed in a stressful moment, especially since that part of our brain processes at 30 million stimuli per second, our whole system becomes accelerated. Our conscious mind, which processes only 30 stimuli per second, kicks into autopilot and there is no amount of reasoning that can change the subconscious when it is in this mode. In some cases, we may very well need rose-colored glasses for our cells to thrive.

How many times have you heard, “accentuate the positive,” from friends when you are down on yourself? Well there is much to learn from that adage. In a University of Kentucky and University of Minnesota study of nuns over their life span, novices were evaluated regarding how they saw the glass half full or empty. The result was that the half empty individuals lived ten years shorter than their counterparts. This is equal to a life span shortened by having smoked a pack of cigarettes a day (“Nuns Offer Clues to Alzheimer’s and Aging,” by Pam Bulluck, NY Times, May 7, 2001; “Trust & Dare,” newsletter of the school Sisters of Notre Dame, 2014). In a new study done at Stanford University a control group of 240 children ages seven to 10 were found that being positive improved their memory and enhanced their problem-solving skills (reported by Abigail Hess, CNBC, February 8, 2018). Another study at Stanford University, positive students were asked to think negatively for four minutes. Saliva tests confirmed that their immune system was lowered for four hours. Conversely, a group of “half empty” students were given positive input and their immune system improved for two hours (Stanford University Forgiveness Project, 2009). The research points out that negativity leads to bad health.

When you are negative, your nervous system defaults to a revved-up state and your blood leaves the areas that require the most nurturing, such as the entire lining of your gut, which needs to be replaced every seventy-two hours. When there is excessive stress from negativity your hormones curtail the immune system, further, placing you in a more vulnerable state. Dashner Keltner writes in Born to be Good (New York: Norton, 2009): “Positive thoughts are a biological mandate for health.” If the multifaceted and probably the most important part of your nervous system, the Vagus Nerve, which is the nerve of compassion, does not function optimally, our true karma is the survival of the good. This is further emphasized by Stephen W. Porges in his book The Polyvagal Theory (New York: Norton, 2011) when he describes the process of being optimistic and how it determines our becoming more safe, flexible and apt to have better coping skills.

Since the research is conclusive, then it stands to reason that singing “Oops there goes another rubber tree plant,” and any other positive thoughts will allow your calm part of your nervous system to be accentuated!

Implications for Being Positive:

Research, as mentioned above, has shown the effects of thinking negatively. This is referred to as a Nocebo Effect by Lipton and can be as powerful as any Placebo Effect. Conversely, as Fred Luskin demonstrated in his book Forgive for Good (New York: Harper Collins, 2002), with positive thoughts your immune system improves. You have the choice. It is also a fact that slow, soft breathing and thinking positive thoughts (see Coherent Breathing, developed by Stephen Elliott) which also enhances the Vagus Nerve, can short circuit the sympathetic nervous system, allowing your calm parasympathetic part to take over. Time, in a sense, expands when your parasympathetic part is activated and allows compassion to enter your Vagus Nerve.

Here are some visualizations, exercises and suggestions that will allow you to expand your reality with the wisdom of not being half empty:

Try imagining a silk thread pulling your head to an erect position. Allow your body to follow its direction. Let positive energy flow through you and around you. Sense your surrounding environment; tell your soul that it is multi-leveled. There are no accidents in this context. Open your being to connecting with others. Channel your energy through them and from them. Let your Chi or vital energy introduce your soul to yourself. Feel the energy flow from your belly to the outer most part of your body and existence. Relax your facial muscles; move Chi downward to release all tension in your body. Stand up and walk with a new spring to your steps. Feel the balls of your feet touch the ground with new awareness. Each part of you is connected to the whole, which is now more than all the parts of the universe. You are now connected to the universal energy that feeds our existence.

Another way to encourage having positive feelings is to open your heart by softening your stomach and breathing with compassion, which is encouraged by Dr. Mehmet Oz. He describes the heart as an organ that “doesn’t empty blood like a balloon letting out air. That is a very bland view of how the heart functions. It’s much more elegant than that. It twists the blood out the way you would wring water from a towel. You watch this muscle twisting and turning. It looked like a cobra being tamed by a physician who is managing it. When I saw this organ, I realized why it plays such an important role in our poetry, why it dominates our religion, why we associate the soul and love with a muscle.” (Einstein’s God: Conversations About Science and the Human Spirit, Krista Tippett, Penguin Books, 2010)

With this quote in mind, feel the results that positive emotions have on your heart. As you soften your stomach and breath slowly think of something that makes you feel grateful and pay attention to what is now happening with your mind, body and “heart.”

For deeper relaxation of your whole body, try the following, best done by sitting down.

Place your attention on your forehead. Imagine the muscles in your head are like a rope with individual twine. Feel the tightness of the day and to yourself say,” I will my muscles in my forehead to relax”. Imagine the muscles loosening up and feel the result. Progressively move downward touching all your major muscle areas. Go to your face, feel the tension in your face and to yourself say “I will the muscles in my face to relax”. Go to your shoulders and feel the tension leave your upper extremities through your biceps, forearms and out through your fingertips. Allow your back muscles to loosen and relax. Go to your lower extremities and will the muscles in your legs to relax. Now concentrate on your breathing. Feel the uniqueness of each individual breathe softly in your stomach and as you breathe in feel a sense of gratitude toward something you have compassion about, exhale and feel the compassion. Imagine a color that represents all the positive compassion you have. As you breathe in, feel the color replenish your circulatory system. As you breathe out imagine all the tension and pain you may have leave your body. After three breaths feel the positive color as it becomes an aura that surrounds and drapes you. Feel as it caresses and protects you. And with your mind’s eye, imagine the tension leave your body and dissipate in the horizon. Now focus on your center, a place about an inch below your navel. Feel the difference that you made in your mind and body; anchor it in your center, allow it to settle in and remember that it will be there for you in the future, if you would like to access it when needed.

Remember that when we are upset or stuck it is difficult to be positive. Also, negative feelings that bring about statements of “should of” and “buts” are not useful. We need not be the wound. Richard Bach wrote in Jonathan Livingston Seagull, “You don’t have to argue for your limitations, they are already yours.” The challenge is to go back to your original intent, and you will usually find your wishes were positive.

Our brain remembers the patterns and contexts that we form in our life. These patterns define the way we cope and experience the world. It is not the content of things we learned, it is the relationships between those many different parts of our life that allow us to move into wider interdependent and positive contexts. Otherwise we are vulnerable to past injurious consequences that can trigger our senses and spill over into old patterns of pain. Brain researchers call this “State Dependency,” as mentioned before. If you were to be hypnotized for instance and brought back to a time when you may have injured your leg, you can very well relive that pain and begin to limp. Conversely, your brain can also bring up the joy you might have felt from a positive experience. The brain does not differentiate between past patterns and present states. We can easily project old feelings onto present situations. A previous negative relationship for example, be it with a parent or past lover, can be imposed onto a current relationship, unless we stop and refute the connection before it influences it in a harmful manner.

This is the essence of systems change, to recognize injurious patterns and create the proper perspective in the present moment — — with a positive attitude. We do not have to repeat old painful patterns and we do have the opportunity to move on from their influences. It is in your best interest to be mindful and positive because the irony is that otherwise we become what we project. The key is to have peace.

*The above was adapted and revised from my book “A Wider Lens: How to See Your Life Differently”