The Duplicity of Human Nature
Our questionable behavior in all it’s faulty wonder
I believe most humans are fundamentally good but we are also fallible because we’re human. We’re good people who make bad choices so it shouldn’t be shocking when we exercise poor judgment and behave stupidly.
In every situation that presents itself we have choices to make and it can’t always be the right choice or life would be boring and predictable.
Think of how many times you’ve made a really bad decision. Probably more times than you can count, I’m guessing.
You’ve gone out for drinks after work with your colleagues and made the choice to get behind the wheel while under the influence. You could kill someone or physically alter their life forever.
What if you were walking down the street and found a wallet? The wallet has $500.00 cash inside. Maybe you’ve recently lost your job and you’re having a difficult time paying the bills.
That $500.00 could make all the difference and instantly you’re presented with a choice. Depending on your situation, all your morals may fly out the window.
Here’s another example. One that possibly occurs more frequently than all bad decisions combined, whether you’re a man or a woman.
You’re in the heat of the moment with a sexual partner and neither one of you pauses for 30 seconds to consider using a condom. This lack of judgement has as much lifelong consequence as drunk driving. Everyone’s lives could be altered in as much time as it takes to have an orgasm, either by conceiving a child, or worse, contracting an STI.
Ladies, how many times has this happened to you? His dick is already inside you when he asks, “Are you on the pill?” or you ask him, “Are you clean?” If he’s already inside you it’s too late to be asking those questions.
Not good decision making at all, but it still happens even though we’re good people.
While we’re on the topic of sex, what about the unfaithful? Not all cheaters are purposely deceitful. Plenty of them are fundamentally good people who were unable to make the right decision in the spur of the moment.
Some of us know full well that we don’t want to be monogamous so we live our lives accordingly. Then there are those who have every intention of being faithful when they married or committed to a partner.
Sometimes these two types of people meet face to face and then cheating occurs. It’s not always because the monogamous one is a lowlife, but possibly because the free-spirited one provides temptation. Maybe even provocation.
This is where fallibility comes into play, on both sides. One of us shouldn’t be cheating and the other shouldn’t be providing the opportunity. But inevitably, it can happen.
It doesn’t mean he’s going to leave his family just because he stepped out for a moment. It just means he couldn’t keep his dick in his pants outside the home. It can be as basic as that.
We all have the potential to be tempted and make the wrong choice, whether we’re men or women.
I recently read a piece by The Good Men Project that got me thinking a little longer than usual. These “good men” wrote about why women leave men they love, and they offered one piece of advice that sounded lackluster at best:
“How about five minutes? Five minutes each day. Will you commit to that? I’m not talking about extravagant dinners or nights out (although those are fine too). I’m talking about five minutes every day to be completely present to the woman you share your life with.”
In my opinion, five minutes is letting a man off pretty easily. If he has to be coaxed into giving five minutes of his time to his wife, she doesn’t matter that much to him.
If five minutes is all my husband could muster up, I would probably cheat too. If that’s the kind of marital advice flying around it’s no wonder spouses are out there cheating on each other.
Five minutes is hardly worth the effort of engaging in a whole marriage. More time goes into a booty call or a mediocre first date, so why should we accept anything less in a marriage?
None of us can predict which direction we’ll lean toward when opportunity comes knocking. We could have the strongest moral compass on the block and still make a bad decision.
It doesn’t make us bad people, it just makes us foolish and shortsighted in the moment, unable to consider real consequences until it’s too late.
If we could just stop for a minute and realize that we are all capable of making poor decisions in critical times, we could see each other with much more understanding.
If everyone could just come out of the darkness and into the light of the true nature of things, even if unpleasant, we would all live with more understanding.
We could see each other as the humans we are, in all our faulty wonder.
