The Duke of Dreck Strikes Again
But, it’s the readers who leave me scratching my head
Before I take off on this rant, please know that I refuse to disclose the rant-ee’s name, so don’t beg me as I’ll probably weaken and relent.
This morning, I was looking through my feed and a writer popped up who I don’t follow. In fact, I wouldn’t follow him if Medium gave me a free pass every month. I’d rather pay the five bucks.
As usual, I just had to look, if only to reassure myself, once again, that people are stupid AF. And gullible.
I’m talking to YOU, readers.
The story was pure clickbait about how to write thousands of articles every day, like an automaton. In other words, without thinking about it.
It was a short read, blessedly. Too short, actually, to garner the over 2.9k claps this piece of ca-ca received. And, as it turns out, after coming to the stunningly-unimaginative and slap-in-the-face conclusion, it was a spoof!
Yes, people a “spoof.” You know what that is, right? Unfortunately, the writer in question does not, as the story ending was so truncated as to suggest he ended it, however he could, because he had to take a dump.
He took a dump all right. All over the page. Yet, readers loved it! They gushed, LOL’d, and tossed accolades at this nimrod like he was William Faulkner.
Take a look at a few of the comments that made my gorge rise:
“Love your sarcasm, dude!”
“This was so good!”
“Awesome article! Thank you for sharing!”
“Nailed it!”
“Your article is exactly what I needed right now!”
I have to stop as I just spit up in my mouth. These people have to be drinking the Kool-Aid, right? I mean, what other excuse is there for such rampant gullibility?
“Nailed it?” I’m still trying to figure out what the hell the writer nailed other than another insipid story lauded by dimwitted readers.
What’s more, the story was about as “awesome” and “sarcastic” as a fart.
What’s the excuse for such a lack of taste? Stupidity. Dumbness in the head, that’s the “excuse.” Oh, I don’t mean to crap on these poor souls who believe that spending five minutes on crap will somehow make them successful writers, or better people or enrich their lives in immeasurable ways.
No. Crap will not do this for you, folks. All it will do is contribute to even more stinkin’ thinkin.’
Unfortunately, I believe that a clueless readership is part of the reason Medium is getting a bad rap these days, as no doubt, you already know. Someone who follows me on another platform took a brief dive into the stories here and that was it. He was done. Called everything “shit.” That was a little extreme, as there are so many fine writers here. Thoughtful writers. Writers with something to say, as opposed to “sell.” But, he was so turned off he didn’t take the time to delve, deeper.
Now, I said my reader’s comment was extreme, but there is a decided lack of quality control here because Medium isn’t stupid. They know what people want and people want dreck. Oh, readers don’t know they want dreck. The very thought would be an affront to them, but, call it what you want, “dreck” is what makes them salivate.
Most folks aren’t seeking “authenticity,” or “emotions,” or anything having to do with the travails of real life. They want stories with titles that begin with a number and that’s what this particular writer is adept at.
And, who am I to judge when this numeric system is obviously working for him?
I’m envious. I admit it. Woefully, I have nothing to “sell” people. No courses or workshops or secret “how-tos” that I gleaned from the Wizard of Wright.
Nope. All I have to hawk are my screenplays and I don’t think any readers here will be pulling out their checkbooks for one, anytime soon. But, one never knows, does one?
How about you, chrissy teigen? Do you and the hubby want to finance a film? You can Insta-promote it, and everything. It’s good. It’s really, really good. I have a real director attached, and everything.
Friends, tell me the truth. Did that come off as desperate? It kind of felt like it. Shit. Oh, well.
Maybe I’ll end by tossing this in your court, readers-who-love-stories-with-lots-of-numbers:
Why? Just…why?
© Sherry McGuinn, 2021. All Rights Reserved.
Sherry McGuinn is a slightly-twisted, longtime Chicago-area writer and award-winning screenwriter. Her work has appeared in The Chicago Tribune, Chicago Sun-Times, and numerous other publications. Sherry’s soon-to-be-ex-manager is currently NOT pitching her newest screenplay, a drama with dark, comedic overtones and inspired by a true story.
Thanks for reading, guys. If you enjoyed this, I’d love for you to check out the following, as well as my newsletter, Sherry Raw.
