The Drug Addicted Brain

For people like me, whether we are in active addiction, or living a life of sobriety now, like me, we live each day of our lives with different ways of thinking. Many say that no matter how long we stay sober, we will always have different mindsets in our brain. They have become to be known as the sober brain, and the addicted brain. Another word used for sober will sometimes be the healthy brain. Whatever the titles used may be, they represent two very different mindsets that an addict has to deal with. This is always true, whether it’s during an active addiction, a detox, a time period of sobriety, a relapsing experience, and every struggle, and success before, after and between.

When I think about this topic, I wonder again and again, how do I start this discussion? Because this subject is one that can have the potential to be about changes that are back and forth, left and right, over, under, etc etc.

In this first of two parts article, I wanted to introduce everyone to the addicted brain. I want to really tell you what it’s all about. You will see that the addicted brain, is much more than just the mindset that gets us using the actual drug. Let’s learn about the entire frightening process.

Obviously, when we are in active addiction, we are almost exclusively working with that addicted brain. To describe it, is to lay the groundwork for something very sad. A mindset that’s entire goal is surrounded around how to get a drug, the mission to actually go and get that drug, is the drug good quality or not, and how are we going to establish a way to immediately get more money, to be able to go buy more drugs later in the day.

Because one score, rarely lasts a day. It’s sad but true.

Every thought is surrounded by these type of moments. We may spend all day using drugs, and trying to figure out how to get drugs for the nighttime. That way, we can save those late night drugs for the morning for when we wake up sick, in absolute withdrawal hell. Because every morning comes with sickness. There are just no ways around it. But guess what; those drugs from the night before, are already long gone by wake up. Because at midnight, or 1 am, we just use, and use and use.

It’s a true example of insanity, when we have to accept the fact that illness, every single morning, is the new norm, in which our life has become. Being terribly sick becomes the life we have chosen. When I say sick, I mean muscle aches, chills, hot sweats, cold sweats, cramps, severe anxiety, depression, upset stomach, inability to eat, nausea, major diarrhea, restless legs, uncontrollable goosebumps, and other random issues. Now imagine every one of those symptoms in severe mode, at the same time.

For the most part, relief couldn’t really be found, except from a drug like heroin (or other opiate or opioid). What has made it amazing, and frightening at the same time, is that heroin would cure these major symptoms very quickly. Within a few minutes if inhaled, but only a couple seconds, when injected. Something that powerful comes with horrific consequences. It’s a life, lead by the devil.

I give those details, not as bragging or glorifying war stories. I do it to present the foundation for just how much, the addicted brain controls and consumes everything. It controls our every move, our relationships, our jobs, our appetite, sleep, mental health, physical health, hobbies, and the worst thing addiction can steal from us is freedom. Because it’s usually quite likely, that addiction to heroin can lead to crime. Especially when you need hundreds of dollars of the drug each day just to get normal. This is while not having a job, because the drug use got you fired long ago. So how do we come up with the money?

It’s a destructive life. One where we quickly begin to truly hate ourselves. We enter a realm, where we do many things, that we could have never, ever imagined we’d be doing. Until we find ourselves doing it all.

This is a life on invisible handcuffs. We lose everything, and everybody, and even worse we lose ourselves. We live in a world flooded by our own dishonesty. So much so, that we soon forget what the truth really us.

This is one side of a complex story. Again, there are no motives for bragging or glorifying here. The intention is to reach someone out there who may be suffering.

I want you to know, that this doesn’t have to be a dead-end. You can start a new life today. Phone a trusted friend, phone a rehab, or walk into an emergency room. For those who have never tried to experiment with this lifestyle, I hope reading this helps assure you that you want to keep it that way.

Next week, we look at the sober brain. We look at the reality that shows us that a tragic life, can have a happy ending. A new world is possible.

Stay Tuned

Michael Patanella

is a Trenton, New Jersey Author, Publisher, Columnist, Editor, Advocate, and recovering addict, covering topics of mental health, addiction, sobriety, mindfulness, self-help, faith, spirituality, Smart Recovery, social advocacy, and countless other nonfiction topics. His articles, publications, memoirs, and stories are geared towards being a voice for the voiceless. Hoping to reach others out there still struggling.